Tag: Life

Your Very Own Self

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Somewhere along the way through time, the notion has been planted in young minds that being the same is the way to go. This pressure of uniformity stays with many of us as an adult. It can lead to a life of feeling lonely when we are not comfortable in our own skin. Unsure of who to follow, we change the way we look, the way we act, and the way we think just to (hopefully) be accepted. If you are ‘different’, you are labeled an outsider and you do not belong. The media or whoever spread this thought is dead wrong. We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)→ each and every individual. And with our individual differences, we can serve God and make the body of Christ a beautiful thing to behold and a wonderful place to belong.

I am sharing a quote written by author Jan Karon who wrote this on her Facebook page a few years ago. ‘Comparison issues’ and feelings of self-consciousnesses can plague us for years. It is exhausting mentally and spiritually for that is not the way God would have us see ourselves. I am encouraged by the following quote to be more God-conscious, not self-conscious. I am motivated to keep complimenting (part of January’s Grace Goals) others because I never know just how much that person might have needed reassurance and support on a particular day.

From Jan Karon- January 4, 2016:

“For our readers who did not grow up in the South: a generous portion of okra or beans or collards or salad greens, etc, is called a “mess”.

I was always different. I never felt that I fit in anywhere. Some of you know that feeling. Usually, I felt too dumb or too smart, too thin or too fat, too short or (at a mere 5’3” I never felt too tall). I just couldn’t find a way to identify whatever myself might really be.

When I was seven or eight years old, my grandmother, Miss Fannie, gave me a bemused look and said, “Janice, you’re different.” There was a long pause; my very life seemed to hang suspended. “And,” she said, “that’s a good thing.”

It took decades for me to understand and believe that. And here’s an experience that helped.

I was getting ready to fry okra, and while washing it, came across a green bean that had somehow landed in that mess of okra. I cut the green bean in three or four pieces and coated them with batter, and every now and then, in that melange of fried okra, I’d come across a delicious bit of green bean.

What a difference.

I believe it takes a whole mess of okra to make one green bean so full of surprise.

God didn’t make you like everybody else, of course. He made you like your very own self. Something special. Something different.

If you’re still trying to figure out what that wonderful difference is, here’s the best way, in my opinion, to find out.

Say, “God, you made me and you know what you made me to be. What is it? Show me. I want to know. Because whatever you made me to be, that’s exactly what I want to be. I’m excited! Thank you.”

Considering the Caregiver

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This month’s Prayer Plan focus has been for the caregiver. Several of my friends and family are caring for their unwell spouse, their child who has life-long health struggles, and/or their aging parents. There are always adjustments to the day, doctor’s appointments scheduled, and the need for keeping a balance in caring for themselves while nurturing those in need. In my last blog post, Praying for the Caregiver, I shared five areas to pray for concerning someone in this situation. Prayer is good and needful, and I believe we could take one step further to be an encouragement. Here are a few hands-on ways to show your care for them:

  • Purchase a gift certificate. There are many directions to take with this suggestion. It could be for a restaurant for a nice meal out. If the caregiver loves crafting/sewing, how about a gift certificate for the local craft store? If they are a gardener, a gift card for the local gardening center. For the reader, a book store. And last, but not least, Amazon – where they can purchase just about anything!
  • Prepare a meal. Soups are always in season in the winter. A rotisserie chicken is a good idea with some sides. Put together a deli tray of meats, cheeses, crackers, cheese spreads, fruit for something different. A baked potato meal, maybe, with toppings (meat, cheese, sour cream) and a nice side salad. Many possibilities. Ask ahead of time for any dietary restrictions. Or call out for pizza or other meal you know the family would enjoy and take it over.
  • Spend some time. Make a lunch date or set time aside to visit in some way or other, whether in the house or outside. Or if the caregiver on your heart right now lives long-distance, call them and let them know you are thinking about them.
  • Make a personalized gift basket. Consider their interests: baking, gardening, reading, relaxation bath salts, coffee or teas. A fruit basket, perhaps.
  • Give flowers. A lovely flower arrangement in the house always brightens up the space.
  • Write and send a nice note. A handwritten connection is always a blessing.

Of course, this list can be utilized to bless anyone! Throughout January’s
#gracegoals2019, I am praying for the caregiver, I am asking the Lord to bless those who care for others. In considering other caregivers, I am asking the Lord to help me put hands and feet to my prayers to do something and be a blessing to others.

Other January “Grace Goals” Blog Entries:

Grace Goals for January

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I have had this idea rolling around in my head for quite awhile now, and I think it’s time to let it out of my brain and see how it goes. A “mood board” of sorts to set the tone for the month, a theme for #straygifts, a specific prayer plan/topic along with helpful blog posts, a corresponding Scripture verse to implement, and a possible ‘ministry goal’. It seems like a lot, I know, which is why I created a collage guide to explain.

TOP LEFT CORNER is a photo of cardmaking supplies, a ministry of sorts for me. I like to send cards and to hopefully be an encouragement to someone. I especially like to include a note about family happenings, flowers which may be blooming, the weather, ministry updates – more than just my signature at the bottom of a card. I strive to make each card personal. This month’s card theme will be winter-related for me. Is there someone who would love a handwritten note? Would you consider sending a card to at least one person this month?

TOP RIGHT CORNER is a prayer plan suggestion to pray for caretakers in January with a corresponding Scripture verse for meditation. Being a “caretaker” myself for a parent who needs care from time to time, I am more aware of friends and family who are doing the same. It is a big ministry for anyone in a caretaker position. When the idea originally came to me, I was thinking of caretakers for aging parents. While doing research for what caretakers do, I came across so many more descriptions for the word. A caretaker could be a stay-at-home-mom, a working mom juggling home and an outside job, a janitor at work, the waitress who always remembers what you order to drink, those who clean your church. All job descriptions which thrive with a humble spirit. There are so many! I would imagine, though, someone came to mind when you read this and maybe this month, you could pray for them and offer an encouraging word through a written note or by spoken word.

BOTTOM LEFT is a “Grace Goals” section. I have a beautiful poem I share on an upcoming blog post that inspired this. Theme: Compliment someone this month – or many people!- you never know how much a person might have needed it that day. Spread some light!

BOTTOM RIGHT are “Stray Gifts” suggestions to look out for throughout January.

Of course, I would love your participation – to build a community where we pray for each other, share stray gifts we see in the day, share ministry ideas for friends and family. I realize a lot of people read posts and do not comment or acknowledge that they read entries on Facebook or here on the blog. I do hope you follow along – whether by likes, shares, and comments, or quietly in your own way. Either way, thank you for stopping by A Record of Graces. I believe together, we can make a difference. #gracegoals2019

I hope your first week of 2019 is going well!

A Different Set of Circumstances

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Fixed on Faith #10: The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.

I have been writing Fixed on Faith posts for quite a while now based on the Bible verses, Proverbs 4:25-26, “Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.” It is so easy to become distracted with technology at our fingertips. Discontentment reigns as we are able to view how other people live, seemingly more successful and happy than we are. Keyword: seemingly. No matter where I am, I live. How I live is another story. I have lived in many places and I wonder how many of those years I used wishing to be somewhere else. In a bigger house. In a better neighborhood. In a different church. In another climate. One can wish away a life without even realizing it. No matter my circumstances, how I live is important.  When I choose to live by faith because I am loved, I am redeemed, and I am safe, it changes how I see. “If Satan can keep my eyes from the Word, my eyesight is too poor to read light-to fill with light…Without God’s Word as a lens, the world warps” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts). Satan whispers the words, “failure”, “cheated”, and “worthless” into our ears and all too often, our hearts ache with a feeling of emptiness.

“The secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is” (Ann Voskamp). The secret to living joy-full is not in the circumstances, the location, the state of health or wealth, it is in Christ’s filling us up of Himself.

Galatians 2:20 –“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

The life I live in the flesh can only be lived with contentment through faith in the Son of God. The flesh is weak and can be easily misguided into wishing for someone else’s life, location, church, or family. Sometimes a move away from something or someone is necessary. When we choose to use God’s Word as a lens, when we seek Christ to guide us, we will know whether He is leading us away from a valley of circumstances or through it.

Where Greatness Lies

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I Chronicles 16: 10-11, “Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD. Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.”

The holidays are here along with the hustle and bustle, cleaning up after Thanksgiving leftovers, extra things on our to-do list, shopping, decorating for Christmas, and planning holiday activities. It is a lot to think about and we can quickly feel overwhelmed. We want the Christmas season to be great, but if we wear ourselves out by doing too much, we are left with no strength and are weary by the end of the holidays. Greatness in the season does not have to mean being strong for each and every activity that comes along. Strength lies in knowing when to say, “Yes” and what needs to be, “Not this year”. Either way, being able to rejoice in our hearts because we made the right decision is quite rewarding. The right use of strength is seeking God’s glory in everything.

Maybe you do have the time and energy to fit as many activities in as possible. But if you are in the camp of , “It’s been a rough year. I want to do a few fun things with family/friends/church, and the rest of the time watch Hallmark movies in my fuzzy socks and comfy pajamas sipping a peppermint mocha. I want to read a really good book tucked under a warm blanket…”, that is OK too. If you would love to have people over, but do not want complicated, homemade soup simmering in a crockpot all day and a loaf of homemade or bakery bread is one solution for a low stress get-together meal. Or invite your guests to bring their favorite ‘potluck’ dishes to share. Greatness can be found in the ordinary. After all, Jesus ministered to thousands with every-day fish and bread!

It is easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and feel pulled along. Peer pressure does not happen only with the young, but it also happens in our lives as busy adults. The right use of strength is doing what is best for your family, even if it means simplifying by doing less and even if it means a get-together over coffee after the holidays and hustle and bustle.  Whatever choice we decide to make, let’s seek the Lord’s wisdom first and do everything in honor of Him. Bringing glory to God will not happen if we feel overpowered by activity lists and lose the wonder and magnificence of the Christmas season. When we seek His strength, we preserve our own.  

“Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength.”

I’m Learning

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On the weekends, I try to make enough breakfast on Saturday to be Sunday morning breakfast as well. I double the recipe for waffles so that Sunday morning, all we need to do is cook sausage links and reheat the waffles. Last Saturday, I was on a time crunch because my dad and I had wanted to go to WalMart before the crazy traffic started. I asked my 22-year-old son to help finish making the waffles so I could shower and get dressed before breakfast. He was willing to help but had never manned a waffle iron before. I showed him about how much batter to put in the machine and told him to watch the light. I instructed that when the light clicked off, the waffle should be done. “Easy enough”, I thought, and left it to his available hands. After I showered, I called down to him from upstairs to check how he was doing. “I’m learning”, he replied. When I was dressed and ready, I walked in the kitchen to a mess on the kitchen counter. Batter was spilled as he had put too much batter in the waffle iron several times. Not only was it over the sides of the waffle iron, but also on the counter. However, he had successfully cooked all of the batter for waffles and had started working on cleaning up everything.

There was no complaining. He did not stress that he was making a mess. He simply stated that he was learning.

To Learn:  to gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught; commit to memory; become aware of (something) by information or from observation

Learning is acquiring, studying, experiencing, memorizing, observing. It is a process. And the process is messy at times. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. I began to think about just life in general and what my response is to different situations that come my way. If you have taught children, you know we have to let go to let them learn.  Let them make a mess and figure things out under our watchful eyes. While we may show patience to children, it is difficult to be patient with ourselves. But God our Heavenly Father is ever watchful, ever patient, never leaving us to fend for ourselves. He gives us instructions in the Bible on how to live. He knows that making mistakes and learning we can trust Him is necessary. It is vital in learning to love, to forgive, to show grace to ourselves and to others. For the times we just cannot seem to ‘get it right’, “I’m learning” is a great point of view.

I am learning to show myself grace when I am tired and let the to-do list alone.

I am learning to accept help.

I am learning that perfectionism stifles.

I am learning that it is OK that our path in life has had many bends in the road and our journey does not look like anyone else’s.

I am learning that through grief, through disappointments, I will be OK as long as I take one breath at a time and trust God to get me through ‘this moment’.

I am learning my gifts, my strong attributes, my weaknesses, and it is a journey. I could scold myself thinking I should know all this already at my age. I have a choice between stressing over ‘not getting it right’ or making progress by acknowledging that as long as there is life, there is more to learn.

It is the end of the year and the new year will be here before we know it. Let’s not choose stress and guilt to be our anthem in 2019. Let’s pick up where we left off, clean up what needs to be cleaned up, and count the experiences in 2018 as a lesson learned.  Let’s choose life.

Life is learning. And learning is life.

The Difference Between a Rut and a Grave

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“The difference between a rut and a grave is the distance.”

I heard the above quote while watching an old western with my dad a while back. Some of the old westerns have really good life lessons portrayed in them and this particular quote got me thinking. Sometimes we feel “stuck” in a rut which hinders progress in life.  We feel as if we cannot make one move forward or even backward. Most of the time, it takes a lot of hard work to get out of it. Add to that some creative thinking and clever solutions. But one thing is for certain, a rut is merely a temporary location for a season and not a permanent residence.

“Rut” (definition): a long deep track made by the repeated passage of the wheels of vehicles; a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change.

Whether the long deep tracks are set from repeated mistakes, or whether the habits I have created become unproductive for a grace-filled life, I need to recognize quickly that some changes need to be made:

✔️ When I feel stuck in a rut and am unsure of God’s direction, I will readjust my focus from what I cannot change to making one right decision at a time for things that I can. (And take note: Am I resting enough? Am I eating enough healthy foods? Am I praying/reading my Bible/ practicing thankfulness? These things matter to help with a ‘reset’.)

✔️ When I feel stuck in a rut of insecurity, I will remember that I am not alone. No one does everything perfectly, no matter how a life is portrayed on social media. I will not compare because it takes away from seeing the blessings that I have. (And take note: Do I spend too much time looking at other people’s lives on Facebook/Instagram/etc and not enough making things happen for myself?)

✔️ When I feel stuck in a rut and am surprised by life’s twists and turns, I will resolve to keep going, keep waking up to look for the stray gifts in life, keep showing up for my family, keep being useful in my community/church/relationships. (And take note: Am I willing to be flexible when God calls for a change? Am I too proud to ask for help? Am I too distracted by the way I think things should go and not letting God or someone else wiser lead?)

A rut is only temporary and needs time, patience, and a whole lot of God’s grace to make it through. In the old westerns, when a wagon was stuck in a wagon train, everyone worked together to get it unstuck. And sometimes, things had to be left behind because ‘stuff’ was too heavy to keep going productively.

God is still writing His love and sharing His redemption through our pages of life. He is still restoring, renewing, and giving grace after grace. When we feel stuck in a rut, we can be encouraged that it is merely a temporary location for a season and not a final resting place.

Psalm 34: 17-19, “The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.”

 

Do Differently

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If today did not go as planned and things just went awry, I can revise how I go about my day tomorrow.

If today I did not respond as kindly as I could have, tomorrow I can refine my emotions by praying first before reacting.

If today I was too hard on myself, I can reshape my thoughts from a place of guilt to the peace of grace.

“At any given point, you have the power to say, This is not how my story is going to end. Life doesn’t give you a do-over, but you can claim a makeover. Pick something to do differently.”-Tricia Lott Williford

Psalm 139: 16-18, “Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them. If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.”

Setting Boundaries Is The Work of Grace

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Identifying our strengths and weaknesses guide us when to say no and when to say yes to relationships and to ministry/work/life opportunities that are perfectly good, but not perfect for us. Trust the still small voice.

Unloading burdens not meant for us to carry directs our focus on what God wants us to do and not what others think we should do. No one individual can be the answer for everyone and everything. Evaluate what is your responsibility.

Recognizing when the draw to please people is greater than the desire to please God steers us away from a place of confusion to the peace of God’s perfect direction. Leave the anxiety and care at the seat of mercy.

Setting boundaries is the work of grace. It affects our energy, our joy, and our ability to feel confident through the redemption of Christ.

I. Corinthians 2:5, “…Your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.”

Leave the Safe Nest of Silence

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It is easy to let discouragement crowd our peace of mind.  I believe that comparison is a huge contributing factor leading to discouragement. For someone like me who is creative, comparison plagues me and I want to stop writing, stop sharing, stop creating due to feeling vulnerable. At times, I want to take off the creative cloak and hide it in a corner. Sharing a bit of yourself is scary no matter what it is- something you created with your hands..a meal, a card, a blog post, a testimony on Facebook or anywhere else. What if it wasn’t enough? What if I didn’t say the right words? The “what if’s” rob us of the willingness to extend kindness, a gift, hospitality. It can become quite comfortable staying in the safe nest of silence. But if we stop sharing, stop caring, the world gets darker. And we have enough of that already.

If you encouraged someone and you feel it fell on deaf ears, try again. Someone out there needs a good word.

If you helped someone and you feel it was unappreciated, try again. Someone out there still needs a helping hand.

If you loved someone and you just don’t feel the love in return, try again. Someone out there is hurting and needs a caring soul.

Putting yourself “out there” can seem all too much some days. But today, let’s put on the shield of faith and not fear.  Let’s leave the safe nest of silence to share encouragement. Let’s put to use our hands, our love, and our kindness.  Someone out there is in need.

Ephesians 6:10, “…be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.”