Tag: Life

The Real Danger

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The real danger is not in facing the enemy; it’s in failing to trust in the Lord.

Note written in my Bible margin

This year has been a rough one. It started with John having ankle surgery, which was an ordeal in itself, but the surgery site then became grossly infected. After that, he felt as if the screw that was put in his ankle was sticking out from the bottom of his foot. At each follow-up doctor appointment, the x-rays showed differently, yet John still felt there was a knot there making it uncomfortable to walk. During one appointment, the doctor finally looked at the bottom of the foot instead of trusting the x-ray. There was a wart there! Another appointment was scheduled to remove it. In the meantime, we had heard from a friend and had seen on the internet that duct tape will remove the wart. This remedy is called “duct tape occlusion” in which duct tape is placed on the wart to cover it. The tape is to be replaced every three to five days and should, in time, remove the wart layer by layer. John tried this in the weeks before the removal appointment. When he went in to have the wart removed, there was barely anything to remove! John mentioned to the doctor that he had used duct tape on the bottom of the foot and that it had possibly helped dry it up. John said the look on the doctor’s face was priceless. We’re guessing this method wasn’t anywhere in the medical books and he wasn’t amused. We were, though. Haha. The wart is 90% better and the ankle is still healing.

The Alpha-stim apparatus is helping with an overall feeling of well-being, but it hasn’t helped with his chronic migraines. John tried Aimovig for six months and after that, he tried Ajovy injections which were done at home once a month for six months with no real improvement. Yesterday, he had an appointment with his neurologist to receive botox injections (or “snake poison”, John says). Research has shown it to be effective in relieving migraines for some patients. The doctor gave him a shot in the arm of Toradol to help with the migraine he had yesterday and then proceeded with thirty-one injections around his shoulders and neck, in his skull, and in his forehead. He feels a bit numb today but was told that this is normal. He will receive another set of injections in twelve weeks. He may not see any improvement for a few months or even after a few treatments, but he is willing to try. He has been battling migraines for at least thirty years. Surely, there is something out there to help.

Recently, John and Jonathan were in a car accident. Jonathan was driving and had stopped at a stop sign. The men looked both ways and saw no one coming, so Jonathan pulled forward. From the right, a woman driving a small car (who had the right away) slammed into the front right side of the car, smashing the headlight and denting the door a little. There was a line of cars parked to the right on the side of the road making it impossible to see the car coming. No one was hurt, thankfully. We can still drive the car, but we are careful to not drive too much. Repair work is scheduled for the end of December.

My blood pressure is still a bit too high even with increased medication, but I am still feeling better and have more energy than I did at the beginning of the year.

After the year we’ve had, we feel like we’ve been facing the enemy – discouragement. It really has been one thing or another which has tested the belief that “all things work together for good” (Romans 8:28). I know we are not the only ones who have had a rough year. I have close friends and family who have had major life changes this year due to health issues, the loss of a family member, financial struggles, and other concerns. The real danger though isn’t Satan who tells us God does not care and is not interested in our trials. The Bible tells us that Christians are not exempt from adversity in Matthew 5:45 – “he [God] maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust”. Forgetting that God has not forsaken us and failing to trust Him to carry us through life is the real danger.

I will close with a few more words and include my stray gifts and in another post. The title of this blog entry is entitled, “The Real Danger”. When I opened my Bible last week to listen to a sermon on Psalm 11, I saw my handwritten note from some time ago which said, “The real danger is not in facing the enemy; it’s in failing to trust in the Lord.” It hit me hard and is something I’ve been thinking about all week. And while the sermon was in Psalm 11, underlined verses from Psalm 9 caught my eye on the left page of my Bible. We have felt discouraged. We have struggled with health issues, finances, and trials. But deep down, we know the truth that God does not forsake His own and I am thankful for the reminders in various ways to keep seeking Him in times of trouble.

“The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.” Psalm 9:9-10

Stable for the Situation

Stable for the Situation

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My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.

Psalm 62:5-7

It has been a while since I shared a life update. We have had many ups and downs in the last few months – days of hope and days of “what’s next, Lord?”. John is in physical therapy for his back and is still under the care of a good pain management doctor. He is receiving care from the VA neurologist for his migraines. He is trying a new treatment using an Alpha-Stim device which is supposed to help with overall chronic pain relief. In the short time that he has been using it, he has had more days of feeling “ok”. He is able to stay awake longer and perform small tasks such as walking to the mailbox and back, helping wash dishes, or working on paperwork for full disability compensation. He has trouble sitting for long periods of time. Some days he feels stronger, and some days, not so much. Things I take for granted every day, he has to fight for constantly. He feels more hopeful, though, since he started this new treatment.

I haven’t been feeling all that well in the last few months. It has been quite a long time since I have seen a doctor for any kind of health update. I have been feeling strongly that I needed to see a doctor for a general check-up and with a gentle nudge from a friend who recently had a health scare, I scheduled an appointment with a local family doctor’s office. I have several friends who are struggling with health issues and frankly, it’s scary. I have always been in good health up until recently. My doctor visit naturally started with a blood pressure check – and the doctor and I didn’t get past much else. My blood pressure was (and still is at present) dangerously high and I was immediately told to take medication while I was there. I was given several doses during my visit. While I have other issues needing attention, my blood pressure is the first to get under control. I now have to take medication for that and something to help me relax at night. The blood pressure number has us all very concerned.

Jonathan has been helping me with my dad and with John. At times, doctor or therapy appointments are on the same day for the two men and Jonathan goes with John while I go with my dad to his appointment. Jonathan is updating his Resumé and Curriculum Vitae for employment applications. While not needed for all job applications, they may be useful depending on what he will apply for.

In spite of all that, we are “stable for the situation”. We are processing changes which need to be made. We are working to limit stressors and make wiser health choices.

It has been a while, too, since I’ve shared a few stray gifts! I still look for them and absolutely love when friends text me various gifts of their own they see through the day!

Top left: Our passion flowers have been blooming quite nicely this year! Such a gorgeous flower. Top right: The roses were blooming last week, but have since all faded away. It might be the last time they bloom for the year. This coral color is stunning! Right middle: With as much rock and sand as we have, there is still plant life that does well. The Morning Glory vines need next to no help and they cover bare rock walls nicely. They do tend to grow everywhere, so we have to weed them away from the roses and honeysuckle as needed. Bottom right: As always, the pink oleander is a pretty site. Bottom middle: Jonathan has been making breakfast more often which is a huge help! Bottom left: The last of the butterflies, I believe, for the season. We have enjoyed seeing more bees and butterflies in our yard this year.

The Struggle Is Real

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Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength:

Isaiah 26:3-4

Have you ever heard the expression, “The struggle is real.”? We have been feeling it lately with the many ups and downs concerning John’s health. Discouragement knocks on the door as we seek balance in all things. John had an appointment with his rheumatologist this week who prescribed a pain medication that may help with the fibromyalgia. I don’t know what it feels like to be in constant pain, not knowing the right answer as to what will bring a sense of well-being. There may not be one single answer. Watching him struggle with illness and even depression as the days go by is difficult. This week, he is scheduled to receive shots in his back to relieve pressure in his lower back and legs. Migraine medicine is hit and miss as he tries different treatments. It has helped to understand what is happening in doing research on Gulf War Syndrome. While he never served in the Gulf War, his ship which supplied ammunition, oil, and explosives was in the Gulf around those times. Many of the veterans who were on the same vessel as he was are experiencing the same disabilities. Focusing solely on health has brought some peace because he isn’t trying to go back to Radiology school or do too many things at once. We are taking one doctor’s appointment at a time and praying for wisdom.

I saw a church sign a few weeks ago that said, “The struggle is real…but so is God”. Sometimes a statement comes in a still small voice. Other times it pierces through the heart like an arrow. What a timely reminder! Thank you, Lord. I needed that.

While seeking answers, we are still looking for stray gifts in life – bits of God’s presence throughout the day. We have had several really good rainy days here – and in the desert, they are a few and far between. We lost power for just a little bit, too, one night. It was fun to light candles and just sit and talk without watching television.

Top Row (left) Passionflower! We planted this vine last year and never saw one flower. We had caterpillars on the vine, which, at the time, we thought was exciting because we knew butterflies were coming. The butterflies were exciting to see, yes, but the caterpillars ate every bloom. This year, we watched carefully so that the flowers would blossom. We have a whole vine of them now blooming in different stages. (middle) A McAlister’s Deli recently opened near us. We used to hunt for this restaurant during our deputation days because we knew we could find a good sandwich or soup and of course, sweet tea. (right) Mums are still one of my favorite outdoor plants as they need little maintenance.

Bottom Row (left) I saw this art piece displayed in a doctor’s office while with my dad a few weeks ago. It is made from colored glass tile and is stunning. This piece is a depiction of a popular bit of scenery here in El Paso. If interested, you can read about the star on the mountain’s significance here. (right) Our daylilies are back in full force right now – especially after the rain. I may need to repot them next year!

Thank you to those who share your own stray gifts with me through text messages! I love the ripple effect this has had! I am thinking about sharing some of them here on the blog as I think others would love to see them as well.

Just Baggage Enough

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Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.

Charles D. Warner

We have been going through the house again making decisions about what is serving us well and what is not. We have a nice arrangement with a man who has a second-hand shop. He stops by the house every once in awhile to see if we have anything we are getting rid of. He comes to pick up the stuff, pays us a little bit of money, and we all agree this is a good thing we have going. I don’t know why we hold on to things as long as we do – clothes that do not fit anymore, exercise equipment not used anymore, furniture we don’t have space for anymore. We are ready to move on and to travel lighter through life in the days ahead.

I haven’t written here since August. My mind has been on cleaning out clutter, on caring for the home and the men in it, and on making greeting cards. I’ve been making my own cards for quite awhile now and a few friends have showed interest in buying them. Being able to sell my creations has been a dream of mine and I am so thankful this stray gift came along! For seven weeks in a row, I was creating and selling cards for others. I have also had the dream of making cards for a ministry – for church, for a hospital, for a nursing home – the possibilities are endless, but I just don’t know where to start! I called a few local hospitals and nursing homes in our area, and only the Children’s Hospital said they would take handmade greeting card donations. I was so excited, I created over 70 cards in one week! I’ve never done that before. The cards were made with the thought of nurses, doctors, and volunteers having cards on hand to write an encouraging note to patients. While 70 cards is not nearly enough for the hospital, it’s a start to brighten one corner, one hallway, one patient at a time. I meet with the hospital tomorrow to deliver what I have. I hope they like the cards and will want more.

Before I share a few photos of recent stray gifts, I will update you on family matters. My dad just had another round of shots in his back for pain relief. He has struggled with degenerative discs for years and has an excellent pain management doctor. My dad is slowly regaining strength and is able to drive now as long as he doesn’t overdo it. John (my husband) has the same pain management doctor for his back and is in physical therapy lately. Even though the hip replacements went well, he still needs “maintenance”. If you have followed along over the years, you might remember an ankle problem – still a struggle to get help from the VA over this. An MRI was done last week, and we hope that care will come sooner than expected. We know the VA is overloaded and underfunded, so we try to be patient. After our move back from Waco, John was really ill for a long time. Migraines were difficult to manage, strength and balance were minimal. This year has been a year of a lot of rest for him. At first, the sleeping was out of pure exhaustion from feeling ill all the time. In recent months, he feels the extra sleep has been healing. He is more awake and alert – able to make decisions that need to be made. He was able to apply for Radiology school. He passed all the tests – so much so, he can skip all the math classes! I was impressed. He was told recently that he has been accepted into the school. The VA has a program that helps disabled veterans go to school so they can work. The next step is for him to start classes and training to be an X-Ray technician. While his ongoing health issues have been a long battle, some good things are happening, too. He is getting different treatment from a new neurologist which is helping and physical therapy is going well. Our Jonathan is still working as the volunteer curator at the Historical Society and loves helping others research their family and local history. He was hired initially to organize the archives, but because he is the only one working in the Burges House, he is secretary, researcher, and tour guide.

As far as I am concerned, I am doing ok – tired, but ok. Simplicity is key with “just baggage enough” for the day. I am content with the cooler weather when soups and stews are just right for long, busy days. I am thankful for a bit of time to be creative to make cards as I can. I love doing it! I am grateful for stray gifts in my path which cause me to stop in awe and reflect on God’s care for us all.

The latest of my stray gifts to share:

Gifts Inside (Left to right): 1) Along with getting rid of things not needed anymore, we have been doing a bit of updating in the house. Last month, my dad re-stained all the kitchen and bathroom cabinets and they all look brand new! 2) Cooler weather is here which is perfect for soups and homemade bread. 3) Cozy spaces in the house 4) I bought 2 gallons of milk that had close expiration dates. Instead of pouring the soon-to-expire milk, I made yogurt with one of the gallons.

Gifts Outside (left to right): 1) We participated in a local historic neighborhood’s Tour of Homes. One of the homes is the Burges House where Jonathan works. The yard is very well kept and it is a pleasant place to walk around. John was feeling well enough, the weather was great, and we enjoyed seeing the inside of a few spectacular homes. 2) White mums are blooming. These were bought on clearance a few years ago. 3) We’ve had Morning Glories galore this year. 4) Out of a packet of wildflower seeds, only a few have taken root. I saw this pretty little Zinnia this morning.

The Oil of Hope

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The oil of hope makes life’s machinery run smoothly.

James L. Basford

In my last blog entry, I shared a bit about John’s health and the need to move from Waco, Texas back to El Paso. We have been in El Paso for a month now and it is great to be with Jonathan and my dad again. We thought that within a few weeks, John would be feeling better due to the drier climate. The migraines are finally calming some. Since we have moved back, John’s new VA doctor took him off the pain medication that has been helping with his arthritic joints and wants to try something new. John has been on this medicine off and on for about ten years and this has been the best medicine that has been used for the joint pain. Without this medicine, his fibromyalgia pain is also out of control, although he is on a different medicine to assist with that. Pain medication helps one issue, but affects other areas of the body in negative ways. The overall pain with little beneficial medicine in his system to help landed John in the ER. He wasn’t sure if it was a pinched nerve from lower back problems, a fibromyalgia outbreak, or the back/hips out of ‘whack’. Not much was done other than to prescribe him some other medication. John’s rheumatologist (outside the VA) is not happy about the VA doctor’s decision and there is some communication between them as to how to proceed with John’s healthcare. He is waiting now for an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon who replaced both his hips. John has been in a lot of pain and is using crutches to help walk. We are hopeful the three doctors (the primary care doctor at the VA, the rheumatologist, and the surgeon) can help and that he eventually can go back to work. Maybe physical therapy will help. Maybe a pain management doctor is the answer. Or maybe different types of treatment will be beneficial. In the meantime, we do look for and try natural remedies and ways to heal that do not include more medication.

From John: Since about 2003, I have been suffering from many things that also resemble other veterans who served in the Persian Gulf. I did not serve during war time, but I served two tours in the Gulf in ’95 and ’97. Some of those are things like GI pain (in 2004 I was checked for a hernia and no cause was found) and chronic headaches (which I had already been diagnosed with migraines while in service). Other symptoms have occurred since then such as chronic fatigue, joint pain all over the body, even/including fibromyalgia. I also had my thyroid removed a few years back and many Persian Gulf veterans have had thyroid problems too. At one time, it was called Gulf War Syndrome. One did not have to serve during war time -the service member just had be in the Gulf in a time period since Aug 2, 1990 with symptoms being expressed before Dec 31, 2021. Pray for me and for my doctors in this situation as I desire to work again in the future.

In other news, Jonathan is getting closer to college graduation. As part of his Museum Studies course, he is an intern for one of the local museums. His job is to look through collections of old photos that were donated years ago which have been sitting in storage. These photos have little documentation and Jonathan works to organize them and to transcribe the locations where they were taken. He is finding this task very interesting and loves learning more about the history of El Paso. He will be graduating with honors and we are so proud of him! So far, it seems the college plans to have a traditional graduation ceremony. Due to COVID outbreak precautions, only two people are allowed to attend per graduate, though, so far.

I am glad to be back working in the yard again. Jonathan and I have been working to clean up the yard. John helps as he can on ‘good days’. Rose bushes have leaves and tiny little blooms, the honeysuckles are thriving yet again, and we have been preparing the ground to do some planting.

Here are the latest stray gifts!

On the Left (Top) I highly recommend watching Back to Eden Gardening Documentary! John and I have watched it a few times. We loved the gardening concepts so much, we bought a wood chipper to make our own mulch out of our branches and such from pruning. We had always thrown the clippings in the trash, not realizing all the nutrients we could have used to nourish the yard. (Middle) It has been nice enough most days for a walk and Jonathan and I are spotting new blooms in the neighborhood. (Bottom) Yellow blooms are showing up on one of our Lady Banks rose bush.

In the Middle: (Top) The Texas blue sky mixed with the colors of sunset…and a layer of dust. It was an interesting view. (Bottom) Moody blue skies, the scent of spring in the air, and blooming trees. Others must have felt the change in the air too because neighbors were waving ‘hello’ as we walked by with our dog one day. Everyone seemed extra friendly!

On the Right: (Top) Our other Lady Banks rose bush is now changing day by day with more green leaves and white roses on the way. (Bottom) I tried a new way of cooking cabbage by slicing it and roasting the pieces in the oven with a bit of olive oil and seasoning. The guys loved it.

Feature image from top of blog post: The photo of the tulips was taken by my friend Jonna. I love when friends send me their stray gifts photos!!

The Best Light

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Treat your friends as you do your pictures and place them in the best light.

Jennie J. Churchill

Looking for the best in those around us -whether in the home, out in town, or on social media – can turn someone’s day around. We never know what others are dealing with behind closed doors. The family member, the co-worker, the neighbor, the waitress, the cashier, the teacher, the pastor – they have needs and strengths, too. Compliment, love, be generous in encouragement.

Romans 15:5-6, “Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus: That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Tell Me Something Good – Michelle’s Story

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“I am working on a blog post series along the lines of, “Tell Me Something Good”. The news is depressing right now so I thought I’d go around to friends and family to ask about some good things I can share. It may give a little hope to someone who reads the blog. Tell me something good!”

Michelle wrote back, “I like the idea! Do you want something deep or something simple?”

“Whatever you want! The idea was sparked today through another friend who found out her cancer has not returned and she does not need to see her doctor for another two years.” (See: Tell Me Something Good – Sheilia’s Story.)

Michelle and I have been friends for about 10 years. When we met, my family and I were living in Mexico at the time as missionaries and her church came down one week in the summer several years in a row for a missions trip. They helped clean up property for a huge addition on to our church building. Their group helped pass out Gospel tracts, paint, clean, whatever needed to be done. They shared testimonies and sang specials during the services we would have at night. Because she grew up in Guatemala, she is fluent in Spanish. Michelle was able to fellowship with our church people really well and help interpret conversations as needed. She and I have a lot in common as “missionary kids” and we hit it off right away. And even though we haven’t seen each other in years, we still keep in touch.

“Well, Savannah and I got to take a vacation to Cancun despite all this. Prices were affordable because of COVID. Just before we left, we found out our resort was closed, so our reservation was moved to a five star luxury resort at no extra cost. There was hardly anyone there, the weather was perfect every day, and the water was amazing. God worked all the details out and it was better than imagined!”

They even had a butler, she said, but didn’t use his services near enough because she and her daughter are used to doing everything themselves.

She shared that it was the end of the season when turtles come ashore to lay eggs (April through July). All the holes and tracks you see in the photo on the right are where the turtles came up during the night. “Fun Fact: Sea turtles will always return to the beach they were born on to lay their eggs”, she said. “They can live for about 80 years and can lay eggs for 40-50 years.” The turtles came in very early in the morning, so Michelle and Savannah didn’t get to see them. They were still impressed, though, by the evidence the turtles left in the sand.

Cancun looks like an amazing, relaxing place to vacation! I love her “Tell Me Something Good” story! If you liked this post and would like to share your story, comment below and “Tell Me Something Good”! I have a few more stories to share in the coming weeks.

Motivation Daily

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People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.

Zig Ziglar

Are you doing ok during this pandemic? Have you been able to keep your sanity, motivation, and sense of well-being? The changes in society lately have thrown life a curveball with many adjustments needing to be made. Some days, I don’t even know what day it is! Yesterday, I looked at my husband’s medication organizer and saw that he had taken Thursday’s medication. “It’s only Wednesday”, I thought. “Poor man got his meds confused and doesn’t even know what day it is”. I thought about it for a minute because something seemed “off”. Did he take a double dose of medication this week? I looked at the calendar on my cell phone and was shocked that it was Thursday and not Wednesday. I had lost track of a whole day somehow.

So much has happened since COVID 19 has taken over. My husband was hired to work for the VA in Waco, TX. Within a few weeks time, he had a much needed shoulder surgery, we packed a few things, rented an apartment – sight unseen, moved from El Paso to Waco, and he started working. The whirlwind of activity started in June. A month later, we are settled and very happy that John is able to work during this crazy time frame.

One year ago, he graduated from college but could barely walk due to hip pain. One year ago, I wondered how many days would he spend in bed because it was too painful for him to move. One year ago, he had his first total hip replacement surgery. One year ago, when he had moments of coherency, he started looking for work, putting his resumé out into the world. And one year later, he is able to work all day and still be able to come home and be functional. One year can make a difference. One year ago, we were very concerned for our little church in Mexico who had no pastor because John did not have the strength to preach. At times, we were very discouraged and wondered when all the surgeries would end and if our church would ever have someone be able to take over for us. John mentioned the other day that he had been under anaesthesia seven times in four years due to various procedures. I am glad to report that John is doing well and that our church has a man who has taken the work for us. We are very pleased with the direction the church is taking and we are so grateful our church family has a good leader present – especially during this year and all its craziness! Everything from the surgeons John has had, to the healing, to how the details came together for a National to be willing to come to the church, to the way the job offer happened, to the way the apartment we rented is just perfect for us in every way…it is ALL God working. One year ago, all this seemed impossible.

It is challenging to be motivated to trust God when we do not feel like it. Motivation is a daily choice. It has to be taken (chosen) daily like medication or vitamins. The last few years have not been easy for us, but we kept each other motivated to keep pressing on. We took one day, one surgery, one physical therapy appointment at a time. We decided to trust God’s heart when we couldn’t trace His hand. We would have never guessed that we would be making such huge moves during a pandemic. I can only hope one year from now, things will be less confining and confusing in the world concerning the virus. There is still more work to be done on John, but the fact that he has been able to do so much in such little time has been encouraging. To witness the church’s determination to keep the doors open and to see the amazing ministry that is happening now is beyond any feeling I could describe to you. We love our church family deeply. I just talked to a member today on the phone and the sound of her voice nearly made me cry. We had such a good conversation and the church is doing well even in these uncertain times. Good things are happening. Thank you, Lord.

The motivation to keep going may not show results today, but amazing things can happen in the next year if we don’t give up. God is still working – even right now.

Thank you for reading today’s record of graces. I value your time and your encouragement.

Stop Apologizing, Start Thanking

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I am fluent in the language of apologizing, especially in seasons of hardship or illness. I am usually the one taking care of everyone in the house, yet when I need them to take care of me, I apologize and feel guilty that the guys are doing “too much”. They assure me it is no problem and feel no need for apologies because we take care of each other. And I am reminded that others do take joy in being a help when given the opportunity.

My husband John has been going through a rough time as he has been waiting for the VA to set up an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. He has been in constant pain for over a year now. His doctor would not listen to John’s request for help until this April when more X-rays were taken and it was confirmed that John needs both hips replaced. As the weeks go by, my husband is barely walking, sleeping little, and needs help putting on socks, getting something to eat or drink, walking up and down stairs, and walking anywhere, really. He apologizes often that we are doing so much when he can do so little right now. Good news, though- an appointment with a surgeon is set for this Wednesday (June 5).

Often we apologize for needing help with something. I apologize for needing help with dinner sometimes. My son who has an “absent minded professor” mentality, apologizes for needing help with organization. My dad apologizes for needing me to drive him to doctor appointments or on errands when he does not feel well.

I saw this visual on Facebook awhile back and I loved it. It is a timely reminder. I showed it to my family and we are trying to change from offering apologies to offering thanks. Are you like me who feels the need to apologize when you need help, for when you are running late, for when you are feeling more sensitive? No more guilt, but instead, gratefulness for those who stand along side and who are patiently supportive.

Silver Ribbons

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“Seasonal Joys” has been the topic of study for April on Facebook and on the blog here and today’s post fits right in with finding joy in every season. It is a post about the journey of letting the white hairs on my head grow out. It isn’t my typical sort of thing I write about and I have been debating about sharing this journey. This topic is relevant to this month’s theme because as I learn to embrace this season of life I am in, I find joy in the simplicity of this ‘process’. It requires no money. It requires no extra time or effort. It does require patience and the steel will to LEAVE IT ALONE. And maybe some purple shampoo to tone down the chemicals I have had in my hair for ages. I am tempted often to run back to Celeste who cuts and colors my hair. When I talked to her about this in January, she was very encouraging. She said the NUMBER ONE thing that stops people from going through with it, is the judgement from other “well-meaning” people. I am thankful for support from my family! My son is fascinated with the progress and has been photo documenting my journey.

I have no idea exactly how long I have been coloring my hair. According to photos of my younger self, my hair seemed to be a mix of blonde and brown which then turned into a really nice auburn color. I think I was twelve years old in the photo on the right -before I started getting perms in the 80’s and 90’s.

Once in high school, I sprayed a product in my hair that was supposed to add blonde highlights. My hair turned orange! I colored my hair darker a few times in college. On the left is a photo of my grandpa and me taken during a summer in between semesters. On the right, is me after college graduation teaching in a small Christian school. And my hair was black. By this time, I was learning to not get distracted while waiting for the timer to go off and for the color to set. If I leave color on too long, this is what happens. (Like the time I put (what I thought was) reddish hair color in and it turned dark purple/maroon. True story.)

April 2014

…Also what happens when a professional gets distracted and leaves color on too long- it turns black. And there is nothing you can do about it but let it grow out and keep cutting it. Nothing. I specifically asked the hairstylist NOT to leave hair color on for even the recommended amount of time as my hair takes quickly to coloring. I cried. I found a new hairstylist. Enter the aforementioned Celeste who is a good listener.

I need to back up a few years to 2003 when another natural change in my hair happened. Sixteen years ago to this day, I gave birth to my second son who was stillborn. In the year after, my hair started to change from straight to curly. I had no idea what to do with it! I continued using hot rollers (because my teenage years were in the era of ‘big hair’ and that’s all I knew) or straightening. Around 2010, I was fed up with trying to change and manipulate my hair to do things it didn’t want to do. So I began reading about taking care of curly hair, watching YouTube videos, and asking my hairstylist lots of questions.

And now I am nearing more present day. I do not even know what caused me to be done with coloring, highlighting, and the whole covering up of the white hair. It could be that I was needing more coloring more often. I used to be able to get away with it twice a year. It could be that life became more busy, my husband more ill, and hair coloring was put on hold for awhile. The last time I had my hair colored was in July 2018 (top left photo below). In the process of making steps to make life simpler on us in various ways, I decided it was time to simplify and let my hair do what it was going to do. I was always going to be fighting it anyway, and I didn’t need one more thing to stress over. My son so poetically calls the white hairs “silver ribbons.” How can I argue with that?? I recently had three inches cut off my hair to get rid of some of the color (bottom right photo).

Whatever season of life I am in, I can find joy even through great changes. And while this process makes me a bit self-conscious, I know that once the ‘silver ribbons’ are all grown out, I will be glad I did it. I have aunts and friends who have all white hair and I think they look gorgeous. My husband has a Military Student Appreciation Reception next week and college graduation May 19 and I have had a few moments of “maybe I should spruce my hair up and color it” for these occasions. But I know by the end of the year when most of this has grown out, when there will be more white than a mix of white and whatever-I-have-done-to-my-hair-in-the-past, I will be relieved to see more silver ribbons in my hair. I am making the personal decision to allow the real Professional, “who has the very hairs of {my} head all numbered” (Matthew 10:30) add His own highlights – silver ribbons.