As Regular As a Heartbeat

For sunny skies, for flowers growing, for life, I am grateful. For handwritten notes from friends, an herbal tea bag tucked in a card, for friends who care, I am grateful. For easy paths and hard paths, too, with lessons learned and strength gained, I am grateful.

“Gratitude to God should be as regular as our heartbeat “.

A heart doesn’t have to think about what to do next. It beats because it does what it was designed to do. I don’t always live grateful. It is my will vs God’s will. And when I let the seed of discontentment be sown in my heart, it doesn’t do what it was designed to do; to beat as one with His. One by one, each new thanks I give promotes rhythms of the heart which restore, renew, and revel in grace.

Stray Gifts

Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.

William Wordsworth, 1806

I am always looking to capture something of beauty and after finding this quote about stray gifts, I have felt a different level of awareness of things that happen during the day. I use the term “stray gifts” often now when good things happen. I wonder, though, are there such things as “stray” gifts? Or are they put intentionally in my path and I am the stray? Because my thoughts ramble, my feet wander, does God put things in my day to cause me to stop in awe and reflect? Through God’s favor, I am given miracles every day. Do I notice? Am I looking for them? A handwritten note in the mail, a text from a friend sharing their stray gifts, a day when thunder rolls and rain comes to this desert land all count. The red-chested finches chirping at the bird feeder and bright orange mums returning for the third year in a row make for a brighter day. Morning Glory vines growing along the backyard wall that I didn’t plant are always welcomed. (I suspect a bird transported the seeds). Scents of honeysuckle, roses, and star jasmine on the breeze invite me to breathe a little deeper. Sunsets glowing red through back-of-the-house windows especially cause me to pause in the day. All these things and more I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. These gifts are spread all over the place. When I stop and take note, I make time for God. And when I make time for God, I celebrate the time He designed for me to be with Him and to receive the gifts He placed in my path.

An Ounce of Discipline

Proverbs 31:10, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”

Virtuous: honest, wholesome, devout, godly, courteous, gracious; upright. I would like to explore the topic of being virtuous a bit more in my Bible study and the characteristics that causes one to be called ‘virtuous’. I always feel a bit self-conscious in my writing because many times, my Bible studies do not have a ‘happy and light’ kind of feeling. Most times, I am lead to serious topics that lead to conviction and a heart-felt desire to live a more blameless life. Hard work, I know. And not too popular. Writing helps me sort things out and sharing helps me to hopefully reach out to anyone else who may be going through the same sorts of issues in life.

The first characteristic I came across was self-disciplined. There is nothing like diving in head first, right? A lot of unhappiness and distress is in the world due to failure to control tempers, appetites, urges, passions. How many times have I said, “I wish I had stopped myself…” from saying something ugly, doing something hastily? Too many times, I am afraid. I would think that we would want good sense to make right decisions, but what does that even mean? Habits make a monumental difference. And how do I create good habits and keep them? Well, like anything else in learning something; through practice. Practice can be mundane and a hard pill to swallow. But practice brings self-control. Self-control over what? Anger, acting first-thinking later, impatience with God, and other issues I may come across. I leave the door open willing for God to show me.

 He (or she) who is without self-discipline or self-control is broken and more susceptible to attack from Satan and all his tactics to take us down. Jesus says that if we have ‘faith as the grain of a mustard seed’, we could move mountains. I wonder if we had discipline as the weight of an ounce, what things could be accomplished for God’s glory.  In the grand scheme of things, discipline weighs merely ounces in comparison to the burden of regret. More on this subject in time to come….

 

God Heals the Broken

Recently, I went with my dad to his VA mental health appointment. Because of some of the medication he is on, he is required to see this doctor every few months. She checks to make sure he is sleeping well, eating right, living productively, and that medications he needs are working for his benefit.  This doctor always tells my dad how wonderful he looks. He never drank alcohol, never smoked, never took drugs. Dr. L is always so glad to see him because his life has been lived by faith. She is encouraged by his many years in the ministry and that he is doing well in life. He has not forgotten the Viet Nam War, but he has worked hard to put the past behind as much as possible. We talked about when she was young in her career. She used to take it personally when she could not help every patient to the fullest capacity. She had chest pains early on in her work and believes that if she had kept taking on blame, losing sleep over what she felt were her failures, she would not be alive today. “One day”, she shared, “God spoke to my heart and told me I was trying to do His job. It is God’s job to heal. God put me in this place to be His helper, to pray for the ones He sends my way, and to tell people that God loves them.”

It is God’s job to heal. It is His job to bring back the wandering, to bind the broken, to strengthen those who may be spiritually ill.  We were put in a particular place to guide the broken in heart to the Heart Healer, to pray for the ones in need of the Great Physician, and to tell them that God loves them.  No matter our profession in life, we will never be qualified enough to make another person whole. When we take on that responsibility, we take the place of God which can lead to despair when results are not as we wish them to be. To reach out with care and compassion is what we are called to do. Pressure is lifted when we let God have His perfect place and when we are faithful to keep a proper perspective.

When God Restores Joy

Psalm 51:12, “Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.”

How freeing it is when God restores joy; the joy of His salvation, the joy of living, the joy of His presence. And always, when I am weak and in need of a joy restoration, He is upholding me with His Spirit willing me to recover and aiding me in the renewal. This Sunday, may something be said in the sermon to help mend a difficult week. Today, may someone be near to help rejuvenate strength and spirit. We have an Advocate, a Champion, and an Upholder in Christ who gives His Spirit freely. May our eyes be opened to see Him and our hearts be eager to receive.

“Copy and Paste”

In the social media world, I see posts all the time that “If you love Christ, copy and paste this post, and tag ten people”. Or, “I think you’re wonderful. Send this post back to me and send it to ten other women”. In this ‘copy and paste’ society, there is pressure to ‘love back’ the way someone else expects you to. I have thought about this as Valentine’s Day came and went with no flowers from my husband. No chocolate. No fancy dinner just the two of us. Was I disappointed? No, and I will tell you why. My husband is not a ‘copy and paste’ kind of man and it took me YEARS to accept him and love him for it and years to stop comparing my marriage to others. When Valentine’s Day rolls around, it rolls right past most years. And I am at peace with it because he buys me flowers often. He brings home my favorite dark chocolate often. He takes me out to lunch or brings home food so I do not have to cook often. He unloads and loads the dishwasher every night (which is HUGE because that is the one job I do not like to do. I will clean bathrooms all day, but I do NOT like to unload the dishwasher.) And on one ordinary day last week, he told me I was amazing.

The point I am trying to make is that just because someone’s love and affection may look different than what others are demonstrating,  it does not mean that their love is insincere . Just because there were no flowery Valentine’s Day Card by my bedside, does it mean my husband forgot about me? My Mr. Steady-low key-quiet- kind- of- guy is not going to go all out with flowery anything and I wish I had realized that much earlier in my marriage. (He did wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day.) As the wife to this man who is not a ‘copy and paste’ kind of guy, I need to be the kind of wife to him that is not a ‘copy and paste’ kind of woman. It has been a long lesson for me to love him as is, in deed and in truth for who God created him to be. He is the kind of man who simply does not feel the pressure to be like anyone else, or to love (show love) like anyone else or when everyone else does. And I would imagine that it was not easy picnic for him while I worked through my comparison issues and expectations.

To ‘love in deed and in truth’ is a beautiful thing in any relationship. Each relationship has it’s own unique traits and just because it may not look like what ‘everyone’ else’s does, it doesn’t mean that it is wrong or weird. Some friendships are crazy funny and we laugh a lot. Others are more serious and deep. Relationships with parents are different for everyone. Marriages look different to everyone, and when we do not succumb to comparing and we embrace what is in front of us, there is peace. The only kind of love we need to ‘copy and paste’ is Christ’s in that He gave all so that we might live. When we show love with our actions and in sincerity, we give so that others may better live and we can make any day a brighter day.

This Kind of Love

I. Corinthians 13:4, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up”.

Wrapped up in blankets, a box of Kleenex by our side, we have been ‘out of commission’ with the nasty crud. One by one, we were knocked to our knees with aches, pains, coughs, sneezes, and all that this ailment can bring. Valentine’s Day commercials go by us on the television screen and we look at them with bleary eyes with nary a spark of interest. No one wants to think of flowers, chocolates, or diamonds right now. Can someone start the hot water kettle, please??? And while you’re up, could you pass me that other blanket? This kind of love we are passing around right now leans more on the practical side. With all of us sick at the same time, charity really does suffer long. To make it through the day, we each need to show kindness and not worry about who is doing the most for whom.

This kind of love has no bragging rights. It doesn’t matter who empties the dishwasher of clean dishes and loads it with the day’s soup bowls, coffee mugs, and juice glasses. When the whole family is sick with the crud, it especially is of no difference who empties the trashes of used Kleenex and washes the living room blankets we have all been wrapped up in for days on end. Love is being on the same playing field, whether you are sick or not. We do for each other to make the next day a better day for everyone. Love is doing one kind act after another without announcing the grand deed or waiting for applause. Love endures. Love is kind. Love isn’t envious when doing for another who cannot do for themselves and it isn’t boastful. Kind love isn’t swollen with anything other than love itself.

An Offering of Thanks

Offer : (verb) present or proffer (something) for (someone) to accept or reject as so desired; (noun) an expression of readiness to do or give something if desired

There is nothing like being offered a hot cup of coffee in the morning, or help with the dishes after a meal, or a gift just because. It makes your day, doesn’t it? And I wonder if God feels this way when we willingly present a thankful heart to Him. It has been a frustrating few weeks for me and I will admit, it has been difficult to maintain a thankful heart. Traffic is starting to back up due to holiday shopping and I do not enjoy crowded places. Black Friday? Forget about it. After being in Walmart yesterday in the late afternoon, I realize that if I need to run any errands with some semblance of sanity, I need to do it in the morning hours. It can be easy lose the joy of the season when I focus on what is wrong with people ((seriously…we need traffic lanes in the grocery store)). Instead, I need to shift my focus on what is right in my world. Tonight, I will offer thanks that we have food in our pantry, a comfortable place to call home, and that my little family and I are all safe and together.

At the End of the Day

I am a list maker. If I do not have ‘it’ written down, I will forget. Even…to remember to evaluate the day. Sometimes, the days go by so fast, I really have no idea what happened or if I actually accomplished anything. How do I evaluate how a day went, though? What questions do I ask? At the end of the day, how do I ‘decompress’ and process the day’s events? Here is guideline of four things to consider:

#1) What happened today that caused me to feel G R A C E F U L?

Traffic was a bear today. There was a big accident on the way to taking my son to the community college. The right lane was blocked due to an overturned truck and emergency vehicles. While trying to get around the accident and into the left lane, someone kindly let me get over so I could keep moving. It’s not every day that traffic runs smoothly when there are roadblocks. I did roll down my window and wave a big ‘Thank you!’. It is a good reminder to be kind to someone else who is looking to get around an accident as well.

#2) What happened today that caused me to feel G R U M P Y?

Well, traffic. My dad and I went grocery shopping and stores were busy. I do not enjoy crowds (you will not see me participating in Black Friday)…I could have stopped to breathe and focus on the task and not get frustrated. I could have also packed a healthy snack so I would not feel so depleted at the end of the day. (I need to write that down somewhere —pack a snack!)

#3) What happened today that caused me to feel G I V I N G?

I noticed my Dad’s hands this morning. They were swollen and tight and I could tell by the look on his face that he was not feeling well. I offered to drive on our errands even though I knew there was a lot of traffic.

#4) What happened today that caused me to feel G O D in my life?

My dad bought me flowers today for going with him on all the errands. It was also through the giving of my husband. He has had a long week, he has a migraine due to the wind, and yet he offered to heat up soup for me because I was feeling tired.  Kindness  brings us to notice God’s work in others as they seek to be a blessing.

Four things to consider when ‘processing’ the day: What happened today that caused me to feel Graceful, Grumpy, Giving, and God? It might be a good conversation to have with family around the dinner table.

When Grace Moves In

Practical, impulsive, short-tempered. That’s me. Like Martha in the book of Luke when Jesus was visiting in the home, I’d be the one up and down making sure all ‘needs’ were met and chores were done. I read that she has been compared to the disciple Peter who felt the need to ‘scold’ Christ (gasp!) when He was trying to show them who He was and what He was about to do. What nerve! But how many times do I find myself ‘scolding’ either myself for not ‘getting it right’ or others for ‘not getting it right’? Yikes. My heart hurts and I am convicted. Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~Thomas à Kempis

 

This week’s resolution with God post was on the study of choosing peace over perfection. It is not an easy concept to come face to face with your faults and realize that some changes need to be made. I am not perfect and I mess up daily, but this study was helpful and the thoughts I shared on Facebook throughout the week gave me a lot to think about. I hope my thoughts don’t sound disjointed but I’ll just go ahead and share them anyway and hope God will use it. On Monday, I introduced the topic of study and here are the daily notes I wrote this past week.

Tuesday: When I expect perfection out of myself or from others, it always ends in disappointment. When I lose control over my spirt (and my tongue!) in an effort to ‘be heard’ before searching out a matter fully, progress in spiritual growth is hindered. I’m working on letting God rule my sprit (and tongue!) and not my own judgements. It is not being a ‘doormat’, but is the absolute strength from possessing Christ-like humility. Not an easy thing when the habit is to be quick with words and the need is to be understood. In order to have the peace of God rule in my heart, I need to realize that it is not about wanting to change others into my image or what I think is right, but praying for God to change all to His image – starting with me. In a world where “expression” is everything these days, it feels like swimming upstream and against the current. When I come face to face with a situation where I want to ‘lash out’ and ‘express myself’, I need to ask, “At what cost?” And, “Will my words, attitude, and actions cause me to be conformed to His image or will it hinder?”.

Proverbs 25:28, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls”

Wednesday: I could live guilty for things I have said in haste, even after asking  forgiveness. I could ‘beat myself up’ for not getting it right. Continual self-condemnation surely will hinder. I resolve to put a priority on grace.

“When grace moves in, guilt moves out.” -Max Lucado

Isaiah 43:25, “I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.”

Thursday: I have heard Dr. Phil say, “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”. I admit that sometimes I have no filter between my brain and my tongue.

James 3:13-18, “Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.”

“Lie not against the truth” (vs 14). Owning your burdens is half the battle. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people, but we are not left without hope. When I pause to pray first, there is a greater opportunity for wisdom to prevail. My plea is for grace to cross my heart and lips and that blessings do not come out from one side of my mouth and cursings from the other. Daily, God gives more grace when I humble myself and acknowledge that I need His help in changing me to His peace rather than my view of perfection. Lord, help me to be full of mercy.

Friday: 

Resentment: bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly
Resilience: (1) the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness
(2) the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity

The word ‘resentment’ came to mind in this day’s study. Expecting perfection from myself and from others always leads to disappointment and if we stay disappointed long enough, it can change into bitter resentment. In the Bible, James uses the illustration of a fountain. It cannot send sweet and bitter water at the same time. If I judge myself unfairly, it leads to resentment. If I judge others unfairly or feel judged the same, it leads to resentment.

So how do I replace the bitter with the better? How do I keep thoughts (and words) captive and live wisely? How do I give up habits of expecting perfection for habits of Godly peace? What is brittle, breaks. Brittle words break relationships. Brittle thoughts break the spirit. And brittle actions never help anything or anyone, they hinder.

When Grace is my filter, I live resilient. When Grace is my filter, I recover more quickly from difficulties. When Grace is my filter, I am able to spring back into a right heart attitude and am awake and alive to that which is good. Lord, let Your Grace be my filter for all I say and do. 

I. Thessalonians 5: 21b, “…hold fast that which is good.”

Saturday: 

-Grace will always be greater than striving for perfection.
-Grace will always be greater than my judgment of others or myself.
-Grace will always be greater than guilt.
-Grace will always be greater than the battle.

Two concepts stood out to me the most this week. Number one is that I have a choice between living resentful or learning to be resilient. In relationships, in life, in work, in ministry, I have a choice when things do not go as well as I would like. Resentment can be a bitter root. And if not pulled early, it will choke out the ability to see all that is good and right in the world.

Number two is that when I look through the eyes or filter of Grace, my view of life looks a whole lot better.

When Grace moves in, I no longer seek for perfection out of myself or others.

When Grace moves in, I am no longer rooted to resentment, but am reminded to be resilient.

When Grace moves in, I no longer serve self, but I serve the Savior.

“Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace,
Freely bestowed on all who believe!
You that are longing to see His face,
Will you this moment His grace receive?”