Grace Goals 2019 – A Record of Graces

Grace Goals for September

Published on September 14, 2019October 31, 2019 by Rebecca GilbreathLeave a comment

I am not interested in having an orchestra sound like itself. I want it to sound like the composer.
Leonard Bernstein, Composer from 1940-1990

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6

Paul opens up the letter of Philippians by writing, “Grace be unto you, and peace; from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy…”(vs 2-4). I can’t imagine how I would feel if I opened up a letter that began with words like those. And to know that in every prayer of the letter’s sender, my name would be mentioned with joy. Paul goes on to say that he is confident of this: that God who began a good work will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. He is convinced that God is producing something good and that His purpose is underway for His people to go in a specific direction. Paul shares that the things which have happened to him in life have really just furthered the gospel and that because of this, more Christians are bold to speak about Christ and are not afraid.

So what does all that have to do with me and Grace Goals? God not only set in motion His plan for the believers at Philippi but also for every believer. “He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”… He has put in motion a direction and will carry through until a future time when Christ comes again; a continual motion, an ongoing process.

I am not a finished product. And when I get frustrated with myself for not learning life’s lessons the first time, when I doubt God’s involvement in even the smallest of details, I need to be reminded that I am still learning and will always be growing and metamorphosing while on this earth. News flash: I have not arrived. ((sigh))–so much more growing to do. And I think, “What is God doing? What does He want me to do?”

I believe He wants me to listen to the whole symphony. By themselves, each instrument used in my life to shape me into His image would not make much sense and may seem to have no meaning or significance in the grand scheme of things. The music of His composition can only be recognized as beautiful when I pay attention to the combination of life events- trials and blessings alike. God is orchestrating the composition of my life and whatever good work He is doing, His plan is for His glory to be magnified in my body-faults and scars included. He is not interested in my life’s symphony sounding like myself. He wants me to sound like Him- the Composer Himself.

Faith Is Confidence

Published on August 26, 2019August 26, 2019 by Rebecca GilbreathLeave a comment

Faith must be tested because it can be turned into a personal possession only through conflict…the final thing is confidence in Jesus. Believe steadfastly on Him and all you come up against will develop your faith…Faith is unutterable trust in God, trust which never dreams that He will not stand by us.
Oswald Chambers

We can face Monday and any other day in faith with confidence. When approached by two blind men crying for mercy, Jesus asked, “Believe ye that I am able to do this?” and they answered, “Yea, Lord.” He then touched their eyes and told them that they would be healed according to their faith (Matthew 9:28). Pretty strong stuff.

According to my faith, how much can God do in my life?

According to my confidence in His power to heal, to change, to move mountains, how much can He do?

When my husband was trying to communicate to his VA doctor that his hip pain was more than arthritis, that the severe degeneration in his hips was causing great pain and discomfort affecting his ability to move and work, we did not know how long it would take for something to be done. God’s time frame and our time frame are often in different time zones. All the frustration we felt melted when we saw God’s hand in it all – the timing, the surgeon, the hospital, and even the physical therapy. How much time did I spend fretting and worrying instead of choosing to be confident that God knew everything and that He had a plan for surgery, for an amazing surgeon, and for a very helpful in-home physical therapist? Fretting and worrying are never a wise use of my time or energy.

While my husband cannot work at present, we are dependent on his VA disability medical benefits. Due to a complete hip replacement, the benefits should temporarily increase. We worried whether or not the increase in means would come in. It did. Not when we expected it to, but it came through. God came through.

He only asks for ‘faith as a grain of mustard seed’ (Matt 17:20). That does not sound too complicated, right? And yet, most times, I fret and worry, and I feel anxious. Does God fret? Does He worry? Is He feeling anxious?

Isn’t He all-wise, all-knowing, all-present, all-powerful? He is everything good and right and holy in times when I trust, and even when I choose not to.

Faith is stretching out my hand in confidence: ”Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief”. (Mark 9:24)

Grace Goals for August

Published on August 4, 2019August 4, 2019 by Rebecca Gilbreath1 Comment

When you find yourself facing an issue in your life, the purpose or reason or good thing that might come out of it being completely hidden from you–what do you do? Do you worry or fret, become preoccupied with the problem? Do you ignore it or avoid it? Do you complain about it, do you want to run away from it? Or do you see it as a situation in which you might be able to experience the power and grace of God at work? Do you watch for the work of God that is to be done in this situation?
from Patches of Godlight, by Jan Karon

In any situation, do I watch for the work of God or do I panic, doubt, and fear first? This month’s grace goals focus will be about faith and about being on the lookout for the power and grace of God. As for stray gifts, I thought I would wait to be surprised instead of having a specific theme.

Happy August and happy hunting for stray gifts in your life.

A Step of Consciousness-Find Your Even Place Part III

Published on July 27, 2019August 4, 2019 by Rebecca Gilbreath1 Comment

Family Update: My husband was operated on Monday, July 22, to have his right hip replaced. He was released from the hospital the next day. According to in-home care (the nurse, the physical therapy supervisor, and the physical therapist), John is doing really well. He is able to go up and down the stairs (with the aid of crutches) with no pain and moves around (carefully) well. After two weeks, he should be able to walk without the aid of his walker, feel less bruised from the surgery, and reduce pain medication. He will have in-home physical therapy five days a week for three weeks and a few weeks of therapy in another location afterwards, I believe. We are thankful for a successful surgery and are amazed by the difference in how he feels. He will still need the left hip replaced in time.

And now to the last in the series of entries on the topic: “Even Places”-

First: A Step of Clarity–Stop, Clear Some Space & Breathe
Second: A Step of Consistency–Look & Clear 3
Third: A Step of Consciousness– Listen for the ‘Why’ to Clear the Chaos

A few years ago, when I came across the phrase in Psalm 26:12, “My foot standeth in an even place”, I had no idea how those seven words would be changing me over time. The last several blog posts have been about the journey to owning less stuff. My husband and I went through this a few years ago and I have been renewing purpose once again to evaluate items in our home. In this “Step of Consciousness”, part of seeking balance in life with stuff we owned was looking for why we had held on to excess clothing no longer worn, excess books we no longer read, excess stuff tucked away in boxes no longer needed or wanted, and excess emotions that weighed us down. We had kept these things through multiple cross-country moves over the years and knew if we ever moved again, carrying the excess baggage would be overwhelming. There are still more desk drawers to look through, clothing to be edited, and floor space to be cleared.

We had a few reasons for why we held on to things. On my part, I had saved clothes in hopes to wear my smaller-sized ones again. I had kept baby clothes in dreams to have another baby someday. I had hoarded items in boxes for sentimental reasons (even though I did not look in them often enough to be worth keeping). I had stored gifts given (that I did not need, but someone else could use) out of guilt. I had carried excess emotions and weight which held me back from growing strong physically and spiritually. While I have parted with quite a few boxes, books, and belongings in the last few years, I am ready to make strides in making more progress. These things take time (patience and wisdom, too)!

Seek peace and pursue it.
Psalm 34:14b

Part of Psalm 34:14 says, “Seek peace, and pursue it.” In finding balance in the last few years during major life changes and health challenges, this phrase had become a motto as well. Harmony with food/weight, finances, relationships, possessions is still on my mind and heart as I again go through this process of clearing space.

Answering the ‘why’ of holding onto not-needed/wanted items or emotions is a huge step in setting free possessions in life which are no longer of service. Whether the answer is guilt, emotional attachment or the task is too overwhelming to simplify, I had to face the issues head-on and let go to make any progress. I could not proceed forward to weight loss goals, to fewer distractions, and to simple living in the midst of disorder, confusion, and ‘mental fog’. As I look to streamline more, I seek to be reasonable in what our needs are in this phase of life.

It can seem a daunting task to clear out a closet, a room, a desk (a kitchen drawer, a garage, a shed, a dresser, a bookshelf…a.k.a. any avoided location) but once started, I find it usually does not take as much time as I thought it would. The key is to start. Sometimes I feel motivated to “cleanse” all at once. Other times, clearing or cleaning just three things immediately noticeable is about all I can do. Either method works!

I began the process a few years ago (and again recently) of finding peace by clearing excess e-mail subscriptions instead of trying to keep up with new recipes, exercises, and too many DIY projects. I stick to the meals my family knows and loves. I enjoy walking or rebounding for exercise and none of those crazy-energetic aerobic workouts. And I do NOT have the patience for DIY projects. I moved on to clearing just three things in a room at a time instead of stressing over trying to get it all done in one fell swoop during busy seasons.

Releasing ‘chaos’ by acknowledging what really matters helps me identify the beneficial in the present phase in life. Part of Hebrews 12:1 comes to mind about laying “aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” It takes physical effort (emotional and spiritual, too) to achieve the balance needed to move forward effectively. Excess stuff and emotions try patience, plague peace of mind, hinder productivity and limit the ability to make space for new and better things ahead.

My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the LORD.
Psalm26:12

A Step of Consistency – Find Your Even Place Part II

Published on July 16, 2019July 15, 2019 by Rebecca GilbreathLeave a comment

Last week in A Step of Clarity- Find Your Even Place Part I, I shared a few thoughts on clearing space in the home and in my mind and heart. In my search for level ground amid the present challenging phase of life, instead of starting something new, I stopped doing a few things that were distracting from my work as a wife and mom. There seemed to be for me a lot of extra distractions from outside sources that were limiting me from living well and being all present. I stopped signing up for new and interesting e-mails and unsubscribed from ones which were no longer of interest or that I never read. The e-mail subscriptions, while good and potentially helpful, were piling up in my inbox and I was spending time on deleting them every week without ever reading any of them. I deactivated all social media accounts to clear my head and to focus on my own home. With my husband facing total hip replacement this month, I needed to eliminate distractions for more mental clarity.

This week, I am sharing “A Step of Consistency”. Look and Clear 3 has been my key thought process recently and it has been very beneficial in keeping the house running and in ‘presentable’ shape. Rather than being overwhelmed by a long to-do list, I look for three things needing to be done. When I am in the bathroom getting ready for the morning, instead of fretting over finding time to thoroughly clean, I pick three areas in need of attention – which varies from day to day. Clean off the counter, sweep, and throw away the trash. Another day I do three different tasks; wipe down the mirror, the sinks, and clean the toilet quickly. The same goes for other areas in the house. I wipe down, clean or tidy up, throw away, or shred three things and move on with the day. At first, it didn’t seem like much, but there is a noticeable difference by the end of the week. My tendency is to do all or nothing which can be very overwhelming. An all or nothing frame of mind hinders clarity and consistency in managing my day well.

In my continuing journey to own less, the “Look and Clear 3” mindset is helpful in this area of life as well. (For more on this, see my blog post: The Journey to Less Stuff.) The task of going through old boxes, drawers, and files can be mind-numbing. If I regularly take care of just three items, I still feel a sense of accomplishment in clearing space and getting organized. I want to manage what I have well, be intentional about what I own, and move forward wisely in the time I spend caring for things.

If you are feeling stressed by tasks left undone, try taking a quick look around in the space you are in throughout the day and consistently clear three things which are immediately noticeable. I am confident that within a week, you will notice a difference in the level of peace in your home and in your heart and mind.

My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Psalm 26:12

A Step of Clarity – Find Your Even Place Part I

Published on July 9, 2019July 8, 2019 by Rebecca GilbreathLeave a comment

In The Journey to Less Stuff, Stable and Satisfied, and Grace Goals for July, I have written about my need to declutter, get organized, and own less ‘stuff’. I went through this process a few years ago and made great strides.

Old high school and college photo albums were looked through one last time and while I have great memories, I realized I no longer needed to hold on to them. Photos and saved greeting cards were shredded or recycled.
Homeschool material I had kept was shredded or recycled and books were donated that my son did not want to keep. Because he had become a college student, I no longer needed to hold on to all that paper! (I had files of school work and shelves of books from over the years.)
My mother’s box of memories that was given to me was just that- her memories. I kept a few photos, my son wanted her 4-H notebook, but anything else in there had no special attachment since I was three years old when she passed away. I realized I was close to my mother’s side of the family and the memories they and my dad’s side of the family share of her meant more to me than her school yearbooks and scrapbooks. That box of her memories had been through seven states and one foreign country and stored in a corner of a closet or garage. It was time to do something with it.
Series of books I had loved but no longer read were given to a friend who I thought might enjoy them.
Note: It may seem harsh or unfeeling to ‘dispose’ of sentimental items such as photo albums, old notes from friends, things given to me, but I knew I had to say “enough” at some point -enough of storing things in drawers, files, or boxes left untouched for long periods of time. I wanted to manage what I had well, be intentional about what I owned, and move forward wisely in time spent caring for things.

My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Psalm 26:12

When I went through this process a few years ago, I had the theme in mind of finding an “even place” or a balanced perspective. It became increasingly difficult to ‘bless the Lord’ when I felt overwhelmed. There was so much I possessed that I did not need anymore. I felt indifferent to a lot of things I had been keeping for one reason or another. I had a difficult time, though, in knowing where to start. I lacked clarity of mind to make that first decision on what to empty, throw out, or donate first. What I started with back in 2016 was not in finding a place to start, but in figuring out what to stop. I wanted to articulate what was adding stress or more pressure. I needed space to breathe, to think, and to restore. And things that were taking up space which took my breath away due to frustration, I needed to clear.

I am at that place again, so I am revisiting what I had done a few years ago to make more headway in clearing space- whether physically (in a closet, on a shelf, etc.), emotionally, or mentally. And I do believe clearing space affects my spiritual life as well.

The first place to find some balance is with internet ‘stuff’ and this is how I am seeking clarity:

I am stopping all social media. I deactivated my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. There is a lot of negativity, over-sharing, information overload, scrolling and scrolling on my part, and distracting ‘mental noise’ for me right now. I told my husband the other day I felt my brain was ‘quieter’ since taking a step away. I felt I could be more mindful about my time. I could focus more on me and what I needed to be doing rather than what the masses were doing. I still keep in touch with those close to me through text or through Messenger.
I am stopping signing up for new recipes, health news, weight loss helps, gardening tips, etc. E-mails pile up and I never get around to reading all of them. If I need to look something up, Google is readily available.

While it is a meager start, it is a start nonetheless. It is where I began on the journey to find level ground a few years ago. When I stepped away from social media, I felt a nice quietness to my thoughts. When I started cleaning up the e-mails, I was able to see clearly the messages which needed a response.

There is more to come on clearing up space in my next entry: A Step of Consistency – Find Your Even Place Part II. For this week, though, I am stopping a few things that are distracting from my work as a wife and mom and seeking clarity of mind.

If you are seeking for clarity, maybe instead of looking to start something new, consider STOPPING something first–something that may be hindering your focus on what really matters in your life. Take a step back. Evaluate what is important. Clear some space. Breathe.

Grace Goals for July

Published on July 5, 2019July 4, 2019 by Rebecca Gilbreath2 Comments

My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Psalm 26:12

A few years ago on my former blog, I wrote a series of posts about finding balance in life with stuff. We had just made a decision to simplify our work in ministry and my husband made a leap of faith to enroll in college courses to become a full time student. We felt overwhelmed. We felt at odds with ourselves, our finances, and our stuff that had built up over the years. He is now a college graduate, but due to the need to have both hips replaced, looking for work has been put on hold. We are thankful for his veteran benefits due to time served in the Navy. The blog post series entitled “Finding Your Even Place” was written in 2016. Three years later, we still have need for balance in some areas. Over the last few years, we have downsized quite a bit, but lately we have found that we could work on it a bit more. I am finding the more stuff we own, the more we have to manage it, find a place for it, clean it, etc.

In studying through the Psalms that year, I referred often to the phrase which became our new mantra; “My foot standeth in an even place” -Psalm 26:11.

An even place: balanced, steady, continuous, unwavering.

I did not know where to begin in finding an ‘even place’ or balance with issues that felt overwhelming. There had been so much going on in my mind of things I needed to clear out that were weighing me down, but I had too much that was weighing me down to do what needed doing. All that added stress. And who needs more stress??? And now with my husband facing two hip replacement surgeries and physical therapy, among other life challenges, I am definitely needing a steady frame of mind. Another Scripture verse which stood out to me is in Hebrews.

Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us…and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.
Hebrews 12:1

I still think of that verse often as, again, I am going through my closets, desk drawers, papers that need to be shred. Stuff (especially things I do not really need but I have due to various reasons) tends to be a distraction and takes away from a peaceful frame of mind.

While we have made great strides over the last three years in cleaning out items we no longer need, we could do another revision. For July, I am revisiting the old blog posts, renewing purpose to find more balance, and rewriting the posts with fresh perspective.

Coming up next: A Step of Clarity

Grace Goals for June

Published on June 20, 2019July 4, 2019 by Rebecca GilbreathLeave a comment

Simplicity and harmony are the ultimate conditions to be attained in all things.
H. Fletcher

Simplicity and harmony. A thousand times, yes. I mentioned in my post, Grace Goals for May, that we were having company, life was busy, my husband was about to graduate from college, and we were still waiting for him to see an orthopedic surgeon to discuss hip replacement surgery on both hips. Update: All three sets of company have come and gone and we enjoyed their visits. I am still getting our house back in order here and there. My husband John is now a college graduate. Hooray! He barely made it through the ceremony as it was lengthy, but he is glad he put the effort in to walk across the stage. He has talked with the surgeon who will operate and the date for that is near the end of July. John is still in a lot of pain and is having difficulty sleeping and being comfortable. The end of July seems so far away! My dad just received more steroid shots in L4 and L5 of his back due to degenerating disks that are painful. We have had a lot going on and I feel a bit overwhelmed.

For simplicity’s sake and for harmony in the days, I have completely gone away from Instagram and Pinterest. I am signing off of Facebook for awhile as well. Many times, I catch myself scrolling through posts and photos when maybe I should be resting my eyes instead or throwing in a load of laundry. My husband would add possibly baking cookies in the kitchen, haha. It’s a thought. I can’t decide weather to make oatmeal or peanut butter cookies. Either way, it’s on the ‘agenda’ for the weekend. I am trying to do what I can do simply every day to regain energy and keep up strength to help take care of things that need to be done around the house and for the family. John can just not sign in to Facebook for months at a time. I am an ‘all or nothing’ kind of person and, right now, social media has to be put on hold for awhile. I would like to write a bit more here and in keeping with simplicity and harmony theme, just keep it on the blog right now. It feels good to write something again and not ponder whether to post it in four other places on social media. Four less decisions to make, really, which then frees up time to go start dinner…or laundry…or cookies.

I am still looking for the stray gifts in the days and have some photos coming to share. I do like having a theme and the four photo topics I have chosen are: things found early, things that are tiny, things that are sunny, and things found in the shadows. It feels like a treasure hunt of sorts and it gets me outside looking to see what I can see.

I am observing ways to keep things simple and in harmony with family, health, and life and as always, keeping a record of graces.

Grace Goals for May

Published on May 21, 2019July 4, 2019 by Rebecca GilbreathLeave a comment

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
Quoted to me many years ago by my friend Carolyn

What happened to grace goals for May?? Life. That’s what happened. And with life, comes the need for flexibility in plans and in desired outcomes. I have still been writing and sharing different things on Facebook, but have not had the time to do any sort of study theme. And I’m ok with that. I was busy helping my husband (John) and son (Jonathan) to the finish line of the end of the semester, getting ready for my niece to visit us, and keeping the house running. John and Jonathan have now finished another semester and John is a college graduate at the age of forty-seven! Jonathan plans to take summer courses and the next step for John is hip replacement surgery. He is in a tremendous amount of pain and the VA has put in a consult for him to see an orthopedic surgeon.

My niece will be with us a few more days before friends visit and then my brother and sister-in-law and their crew of four kids are coming. I see no study themes in the near future, and again, I’m ok with that. I may post short things here and there as I have time and share on the blog a few things I have already put on Facebook over the last month. I choose the grace of being flexible! I am still noticing the stray gifts and am so thankful for new mercies every day.

Silver Ribbons

Published on April 30, 2019July 4, 2019 by Rebecca GilbreathLeave a comment

“Seasonal Joys” has been the topic of study for April on Facebook and on the blog here and today’s post fits right in with finding joy in every season. It is a post about the journey of letting the white hairs on my head grow out. It isn’t my typical sort of thing I write about and I have been debating about sharing this journey. This topic is relevant to this month’s theme because as I learn to embrace this season of life I am in, I find joy in the simplicity of this ‘process’. It requires no money. It requires no extra time or effort. It does require patience and the steel will to LEAVE IT ALONE. And maybe some purple shampoo to tone down the chemicals I have had in my hair for ages. I am tempted often to run back to Celeste who cuts and colors my hair. When I talked to her about this in January, she was very encouraging. She said the NUMBER ONE thing that stops people from going through with it, is the judgement from other “well-meaning” people. I am thankful for support from my family! My son is fascinated with the progress and has been photo documenting my journey.

I have no idea exactly how long I have been coloring my hair. According to photos of my younger self, my hair seemed to be a mix of blonde and brown which then turned into a really nice auburn color. I think I was twelve years old in the photo on the right -before I started getting perms in the 80’s and 90’s.

Once in high school, I sprayed a product in my hair that was supposed to add blonde highlights. My hair turned orange! I colored my hair darker a few times in college. On the left is a photo of my grandpa and me taken during a summer in between semesters. On the right, is me after college graduation teaching in a small Christian school. And my hair was black. By this time, I was learning to not get distracted while waiting for the timer to go off and for the color to set. If I leave color on too long, this is what happens. (Like the time I put (what I thought was) reddish hair color in and it turned dark purple/maroon. True story.)

…Also what happens when a professional gets distracted and leaves color on too long- it turns black. And there is nothing you can do about it but let it grow out and keep cutting it. Nothing. I specifically asked the hairstylist NOT to leave hair color on for even the recommended amount of time as my hair takes quickly to coloring. I cried. I found a new hairstylist. Enter the aforementioned Celeste who is a good listener.

I need to back up a few years to 2003 when another natural change in my hair happened. Sixteen years ago to this day, I gave birth to my second son who was stillborn. In the year after, my hair started to change from straight to curly. I had no idea what to do with it! I continued using hot rollers (because my teenage years were in the era of ‘big hair’ and that’s all I knew) or straightening. Around 2010, I was fed up with trying to change and manipulate my hair to do things it didn’t want to do. So I began reading about taking care of curly hair, watching YouTube videos, and asking my hairstylist lots of questions.

And now I am nearing more present day. I do not even know what caused me to be done with coloring, highlighting, and the whole covering up of the white hair. It could be that I was needing more coloring more often. I used to be able to get away with it twice a year. It could be that life became more busy, my husband more ill, and hair coloring was put on hold for awhile. The last time I had my hair colored was in July 2018 (top left photo below). In the process of making steps to make life simpler on us in various ways, I decided it was time to simplify and let my hair do what it was going to do. I was always going to be fighting it anyway, and I didn’t need one more thing to stress over. My son so poetically calls the white hairs “silver ribbons.” How can I argue with that?? I recently had three inches cut off my hair to get rid of some of the color (bottom right photo).

Whatever season of life I am in, I can find joy even through great changes. And while this process makes me a bit self-conscious, I know that once the ‘silver ribbons’ are all grown out, I will be glad I did it. I have aunts and friends who have all white hair and I think they look gorgeous. My husband has a Military Student Appreciation Reception next week and college graduation May 19 and I have had a few moments of “maybe I should spruce my hair up and color it” for these occasions. But I know by the end of the year when most of this has grown out, when there will be more white than a mix of white and whatever-I-have-done-to-my-hair-in-the-past, I will be relieved to see more silver ribbons in my hair. I am making the personal decision to allow the real Professional, “who has the very hairs of {my} head all numbered” (Matthew 10:30) add His own highlights – silver ribbons.