Tag: Contentment

Conditioned To See

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“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are──or, as we are conditioned to see it.” -Stephen R. Covey

Glass half full? Or glass half empty? Which is it? “We see the world…as we are conditioned to see it”, wrote Stephen R. Covey author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. The way we see things has been conditioned, or ingrained in us, from early on. By our surroundings, our upbringing, the good and the bad things that have happened to us in life, we have based our worldview and our view of God. Looking for the #straygifts in a day is becoming a habit. I am on the lookout for something new or something I had not noticed the day before. My son will text me photos of something he saw to add to my growing collection of stray gifts. I am looking for ways to “fill the glass” thus conditioning myself to seek the good, the blessing, the beauty; to look beyond the circumstances of the day. It inspires me to live in this moment of time.

Here is this week’s stray gifts collection:

 (top left) I haven’t seen roses on my front yard bushes in awhile.

(top right) Rainbows in the desert…a rare thing indeed.

(bottom left) I wonder what this flower will look like once it blooms. I believe this came from a wildflower seed packet. A friend on Facebook thinks it looks like a sunflower. Another said maybe Bells of Ireland. I am watching it daily to see what it is.

(bottom small photo right) Pretty 4’oclock flowers in the desert heat. A friend commented on this photo on my A Record of Graces page, “When I was growing up (in Kansas) we had a big garden. At the end of the garden nearest the kitchen window, my mother had planted 4 o’clock’s. When they bloomed in the summer, I was fascinated by them, and always asked her how they knew when it was 4:00. She would just say, God tells them! Thanks for reminding me of this memory, which is truly, “a stray gift”.” I loved that she shared that sweet memory.

(larger photo of tree and sky) A walk in the park, the scent of pine on the breeze, the sound of church bells ringing in the distance. We had a guest with us last week and we took him on a tour of El Paso. Up on the mountain, there is a cute little park with a great view. The breeze was just right that day and with the pine scent, the Texas blue sky, and the church bells, all the senses were aware of what a beautiful day it was.

(larger photo of morning glories) These flowers are gorgeous! I have strategically planted these where we can see them out of one of the kitchen windows. We have quite a few morning glory vines growing so you may see them in more #straygifts posts. They climb up and over anything in their path and we are fascinated by each and every bloom.

 

Every Day A Gift

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When I see what I feel are flaws in the morning mirror, let the words of my mouth about myself speak through grace lest I doubt and mock God’s creation in me.

When I see stretch marks, birthmarks, and scars as I dress for the day, let the meditation of my heart consider the story they have to tell. A story of a soul that has experienced life, every day a gift.

Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”

A Significant Bit of Life

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“A click of the shutter, a crank of the film, and you’ve caught forever a significant bit of life.”-Willis Peterson

Every reminder-of-grace-moment I find to capture is significant. A flower, a sunset, time alone, and even a dog can add to the value of a day. My son and I used to play a computer game called, “Diner Dash”. The player was the waitress/waiter and each level grew more difficult as did the customers and the demands. The player was to deliver drinks, appetizers, food, and dessert to multiple tables. And refills on drinks. A good waitress will notice when to refill drinks, right? Each table had four hearts that started out filled or all red. If a guest table grew impatient for one reason or another, the player would ‘lose’ a heart. The heart would refill as a new drink was brought or food delivered quickly. If the guests were all fed, the hearts were all filled and the people happy. They also left a good tip. Now Jonathan and I have this saying when something brings a smile, “That made my hearts go up.” I think of this as I see different things throughout the day for my #straygifts posts on Facebook and Instagram. Catching significant bits of life does make one’s “hearts go up”. Did anything refill your heart this week? Here is this week’s collage of stray gifts:

Top Row (from left to right): “Pretty in pink” is the theme for the first two photos. The flower on the left is at the end of a very long stem. The seed came from a wildflower packet. My roses haven’t been doing too well due to the heat, but I saw this one the other day. On the right: For some reason, I can’t ever seem to keep mint alive. These few little stray gifts of leaves are hanging on, though.

Bottom Row: It’s rare for us girls to have some alone time together. The temps have only been in the 90’s with cloudy days and breezes. I spent some time sitting outside this past week talking to the dog and enjoying the peaceful day.  Next is a photo of me on the 4th of July. I finally found a t-shirt I like that isn’t paper thin, one that doesn’t need another layer under it for modesty, and one that was soft to the touch and not ‘scratchy’. JCPenney. Five dollars. …that’s a #straygift to me! I did not go in there to look for a patriotic shirt, but it jumped out at me (true story).  Later that day, my husband, son, and I could be found on the truck bed in the front yard, swinging our legs watching fireworks glow like stars. Our neighborhood puts on a nice display every year. Lastly, my husband had an exam in class on Friday and was done early. He called to tell me he was coming home to take me to lunch. During our time out he said he had a bit of a headache but actually felt “good”. He hasn’t said that in a long time. He has been taking new pain medication which takes time to adjust. He has had a lot of blood work lately, tests run, and some more to come for different health issues. A rare lunch out just the two of us and a “good” report… both unexpected, both made my “hearts go up.”

On the Hunt

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I am still looking for those “stray gifts” I have mentioned in a few posts. I wonder each morning what I will see, what will grab my attention. I feel that if God brings my focus to something specific, He is asking me, “Do you see?” I answer with a resounding “Yes” when I physically stop to observe.

I live in a city where everyone always seems to be in a hurry. Confession: I think it is hilarious when someone passes me (speeding, of course) and ends up at the same red light as I do. Is that mean? Not very grace-full, is it?  I always feel ‘pushed around’ when driving around town. I am a rule follower by nature and I have never received a speeding ticket. I think I might cry if I did! I did get a ticket for running a red light once. In my defense, I was behind a big truck and didn’t see the traffic light change until too late. The ticket came in the mail, so I was able to grieve at home in peace instead of in front of a police officer on the side of the road. I have become more aware of my need for these stray gifts in my day. They remind me to slow down. Just because everyone else seems to be going at a frantic pace, that doesn’t mean I have to be.  The unexpected gifts bring perspective. They bring focus to the important, to the beautiful. And I am sure it lowers my blood pressure. Quite sure.

I enjoy being on the hunt for these gifts. It can be anything from flowers, the sky any time of the day, rain puddles (rain is rare around here), to just enjoying some alone time. There is no specific guideline as to what qualifies as a stray gift. God knows just what we need; an answer to prayer, emotional relief from certain problems,  lost keys that now are found, a note in the mail from a long lost friend, an old photo which brings back good memories. To see, to know, to consider, to understand that God’s hand was in this is quite powerful and has the ability to change how we see. It matters to Him that we notice.

Anytime we consider God’s hand and His heart, we carve in the dirt and the muck of this world a pathway to greater faith.

Here is this week’s captured stray gifts.

Top Row (left to right): Roses that hide in the shade;  Stray gifts found in climbing potted houseplants. I had no idea it would climb like this. My dad has one that is stretching all the way around his room. He keeps it away from his bed so it doesn’t decide to choke him in the middle of the night. He is quite serious about this. ((Can plants do that???); Finding gold in my front yard

Middle Row: Morning Glory blooms are finally here! This is the very first bloom of the year on these vines; Again with the Morning Glories..they are seriously popping up everywhere. These are wrapping around the red rose barrel; Filtered sunlight through trees.

Bottom Row:  Stray gifts in blue skies and sunsets; not because they just “happened” to be there, but because I happened to wander outside to look.

As Regular As a Heartbeat

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For sunny skies, for flowers growing, for life, I am grateful. For handwritten notes from friends, an herbal tea bag tucked in a card, for friends who care, I am grateful. For easy paths and hard paths, too, with lessons learned and strength gained, I am grateful.

“Gratitude to God should be as regular as our heartbeat “.

A heart doesn’t have to think about what to do next. It beats because it does what it was designed to do. I don’t always live grateful. It is my will vs God’s will. And when I let the seed of discontentment be sown in my heart, it doesn’t do what it was designed to do; to beat as one with His. One by one, each new thanks I give promotes rhythms of the heart which restore, renew, and revel in grace.

Stray Gifts

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Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.

William Wordsworth, 1806

I am always looking to capture something of beauty and after finding this quote about stray gifts, I have felt a different level of awareness of things that happen during the day. I use the term “stray gifts” often now when good things happen. I wonder, though, are there such things as “stray” gifts? Or are they put intentionally in my path and I am the stray? Because my thoughts ramble, my feet wander, does God put things in my day to cause me to stop in awe and reflect? Through God’s favor, I am given miracles every day. Do I notice? Am I looking for them? A handwritten note in the mail, a text from a friend sharing their stray gifts, a day when thunder rolls and rain comes to this desert land all count. The red-chested finches chirping at the bird feeder and bright orange mums returning for the third year in a row make for a brighter day. Morning Glory vines growing along the backyard wall that I didn’t plant are always welcomed. (I suspect a bird transported the seeds). Scents of honeysuckle, roses, and star jasmine on the breeze invite me to breathe a little deeper. Sunsets glowing red through back-of-the-house windows especially cause me to pause in the day. All these things and more I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. These gifts are spread all over the place. When I stop and take note, I make time for God. And when I make time for God, I celebrate the time He designed for me to be with Him and to receive the gifts He placed in my path.

“Copy and Paste”

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In the social media world, I see posts all the time that “If you love Christ, copy and paste this post, and tag ten people”. Or, “I think you’re wonderful. Send this post back to me and send it to ten other women”. In this ‘copy and paste’ society, there is pressure to ‘love back’ the way someone else expects you to. I have thought about this as Valentine’s Day came and went with no flowers from my husband. No chocolate. No fancy dinner just the two of us. Was I disappointed? No, and I will tell you why. My husband is not a ‘copy and paste’ kind of man and it took me YEARS to accept him and love him for it and years to stop comparing my marriage to others. When Valentine’s Day rolls around, it rolls right past most years. And I am at peace with it because he buys me flowers often. He brings home my favorite dark chocolate often. He takes me out to lunch or brings home food so I do not have to cook often. He unloads and loads the dishwasher every night (which is HUGE because that is the one job I do not like to do. I will clean bathrooms all day, but I do NOT like to unload the dishwasher.) And on one ordinary day last week, he told me I was amazing.

The point I am trying to make is that just because someone’s love and affection may look different than what others are demonstrating,  it does not mean that their love is insincere . Just because there were no flowery Valentine’s Day Card by my bedside, does it mean my husband forgot about me? My Mr. Steady-low key-quiet- kind- of- guy is not going to go all out with flowery anything and I wish I had realized that much earlier in my marriage. (He did wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day.) As the wife to this man who is not a ‘copy and paste’ kind of guy, I need to be the kind of wife to him that is not a ‘copy and paste’ kind of woman. It has been a long lesson for me to love him as is, in deed and in truth for who God created him to be. He is the kind of man who simply does not feel the pressure to be like anyone else, or to love (show love) like anyone else or when everyone else does. And I would imagine that it was not easy picnic for him while I worked through my comparison issues and expectations.

To ‘love in deed and in truth’ is a beautiful thing in any relationship. Each relationship has it’s own unique traits and just because it may not look like what ‘everyone’ else’s does, it doesn’t mean that it is wrong or weird. Some friendships are crazy funny and we laugh a lot. Others are more serious and deep. Relationships with parents are different for everyone. Marriages look different to everyone, and when we do not succumb to comparing and we embrace what is in front of us, there is peace. The only kind of love we need to ‘copy and paste’ is Christ’s in that He gave all so that we might live. When we show love with our actions and in sincerity, we give so that others may better live and we can make any day a brighter day.

An Offering of Thanks

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Offer : (verb) present or proffer (something) for (someone) to accept or reject as so desired; (noun) an expression of readiness to do or give something if desired

There is nothing like being offered a hot cup of coffee in the morning, or help with the dishes after a meal, or a gift just because. It makes your day, doesn’t it? And I wonder if God feels this way when we willingly present a thankful heart to Him. It has been a frustrating few weeks for me and I will admit, it has been difficult to maintain a thankful heart. Traffic is starting to back up due to holiday shopping and I do not enjoy crowded places. Black Friday? Forget about it. After being in Walmart yesterday in the late afternoon, I realize that if I need to run any errands with some semblance of sanity, I need to do it in the morning hours. It can be easy lose the joy of the season when I focus on what is wrong with people ((seriously…we need traffic lanes in the grocery store)). Instead, I need to shift my focus on what is right in my world. Tonight, I will offer thanks that we have food in our pantry, a comfortable place to call home, and that my little family and I are all safe and together.

The Habit That I Wear

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“A nail is driven out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit”. -Erasmus

Habit: Synonyms: addiction, custom, groove, manner, mode, nature, pattern, set, style Definitions: an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary; customary practice or use; a dominant or regular disposition or tendency; prevailing character or quality

When I was growing up, my parents worked to instill in the 3 of us kids good habits. We made our bed every day (yes, even on Saturdays). Every day, we were to shower, comb our hair, and get dressed. Every day, we each had chores that needed to be completed by the end of the day. It was to teach us discipline and responsibility and they are habits I instilled in raising and training my son Jonathan. This post isn’t about these types of habits, however, but of spiritual ones.  One of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp, mentions habits in one of her journal entries.

“A habit is what we wear. A habit is the way we wear our days.”

In light of ‘spiritual habits’, which ones should I ‘wear’?  I looked up the definitions for the word ‘wear’. Here are a few; to carry or to have on the body or about the person as a covering, equipment, ornament, or the like ; to bear or have in one’s aspect or appearance.

What am I carrying lately? What is ‘covering’ me? What is my equipment?? Stress, worry, doubts, perfectionism? Usually, yes. King Solomon in Proverbs 1:9 wrote about instruction and wisdom that they “shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.” Stress, worry, doubts, perfectionism are not wise habits to wear, especially if I believe that God is faithful to carry me through any situation.

Over the last year, I have been on a ‘minimalist’ kick. I haven’t nearly arrived at sorting through everything, but I did start with my closet. I donated bags of clothes that just didn’t suit me anymore. I stick to basic color schemes now that I know I feel comfortable in and that most everything matches most everything. I have a difficult time making (and sticking to!) decisions and having my closet cleaned out and simplified makes getting dressed much easier. Now that I have the basics I’m happy with, I rarely say, “I have nothing to wear”. I know what I like, I know what is comfortable, and I know everything ‘goes’ together.

I can compare that to a ‘spiritual’ closet and I know which thoughts are not comfortable..stress, worry, obsession over things I cannot change. I can choose to clean those out in favor of what is good. Stress, worry, doubt is really not supposed ‘to go together’ in the Christian outfit, anyway.

‘Put on’ bowels (depths) of mercies, kindness, humbleness, meekness, longsuffering.’ Colossians 3:12

In Ephesians chapter six, Paul writes about taking the whole armour of God; truth, righteousness, gospel of peace, faith, salvation, word of God… No stress, worry, or doubt mentioned here.

I can choose to decide that I don’t want to wear discontentment and doubt.  “Strength and honour are her clothing;”-Proverbs 31:25. I find that if I ‘take’ (mentally) the habits of stress, worry, doubts, obsessiveness over things I can’t control and put them away (far, far away), I find things I haven’t worn in awhile; mercy, kindness, longsuffering, faith, trust, the word of God. And if all that seems overwhelming, I can ‘try on’ one or two of them. I can work on kindness today instead of impatience. I can show mercy instead of an unforgiving spirit. I can let go of perfectionism in favor of a happier home.

‘Putting on’ habits is a choice. Driving out bad habits can be done by driving in a good one in its place. Difficult at times, sure. Painful, even. The natural tendency is to grip tightly to control, to discontent, and the right to feel this way. Which habits do I need to retire and which ones do I need to take on in order to be a better Christian, wife, and mom?  How do I wear my days? If I’m ever in doubt and am not quite sure how to drive out the bad habit rearing it’s ugly head, I can put on the one good one that never fails- charity/love.

“And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.” Colossians 3:14,15

Above mercy, kindness, humbleness, meekness, longsuffering. Above forbearing and forgiving, charity is the way to wear my days because if I don’t have charity, I am nothing and there is no profit to any other good deed I could do (I Corinthians 13:2,3). Is my covering, equipment, or ornament charity these days? Something to think about each morning as I decide what I want to wear and how I want to wear the day.

 

 

Free From Envy

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I’m working to get the new blog up and running, so I’m going through older posts from my former blog and ‘revamping’ them a bit. The last post, The Big Happiness, was originally written in January as I was working through verses on contentment. The verses had been straight to the heart. “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

To apply: to make use of as relevant, suitable, or pertinent; to put to use, especially for a particular purpose; to devote or employ diligently or with close attention.

Lord, teach me to devote my heart unto wisdom, {understanding, too} –with close attention.

Here are my study notes from “Free from Envy”:

The focus in this study was about communication with others and in keeping the envy away from my relationship with them. When God has given me His spirit and instructs me to be content with what I have, He wants me to pay close attention, because through everything, He will never leave me nor forsake me. Not only that, He is my helper. So no matter what others have, I can be glad for them because when there is a need, God will provide, and it will be right and good and enough. No need for envy or wanting what others possess because I can choose to want the *enough* that I am Divinely given.

To be faithful in the little (Luke 16:10) is a good place to start if comparing my life to someone else’s. Am I true to God in being thankful for what I already have? Am I honorable in taking care of what I’ve been given?

And what is it that I admire in another person, anyway? Their stuff? Do I appreciate their success more than the value of their character? Some good envy evaluation questions right there.

How to be free from envy in relationships with others?

Be faithful in the little, be thankful for much, appreciate character more than success.

“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” Hebrews 13:5, 6