I am fluent in the language of apologizing, especially in seasons of hardship or illness. I am usually the one taking care of everyone in the house, yet when I need them to take care of me, I apologize and feel guilty that the guys are doing “too much”. They assure me it is no problem and feel no need for apologies because we take care of each other. And I am reminded that others do take joy in being a help when given the opportunity.

My husband John has been going through a rough time as he has been waiting for the VA to set up an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. He has been in constant pain for over a year now. His doctor would not listen to John’s request for help until this April when more X-rays were taken and it was confirmed that John needs both hips replaced. As the weeks go by, my husband is barely walking, sleeping little, and needs help putting on socks, getting something to eat or drink, walking up and down stairs, and walking anywhere, really. He apologizes often that we are doing so much when he can do so little right now. Good news, though- an appointment with a surgeon is set for this Wednesday (June 5).

Often we apologize for needing help with something. I apologize for needing help with dinner sometimes. My son who has an “absent minded professor” mentality, apologizes for needing help with organization. My dad apologizes for needing me to drive him to doctor appointments or on errands when he does not feel well.

I saw this visual on Facebook awhile back and I loved it. It is a timely reminder. I showed it to my family and we are trying to change from offering apologies to offering thanks. Are you like me who feels the need to apologize when you need help, for when you are running late, for when you are feeling more sensitive? No more guilt, but instead, gratefulness for those who stand along side and who are patiently supportive.