Faith must be tested because it can be turned into a personal possession only through conflict…the final thing is confidence in Jesus. Believe steadfastly on Him and all you come up against will develop your faith…Faith is unutterable trust in God, trust which never dreams that He will not stand by us.
Oswald Chambers
We can face Monday and any other day in faith with confidence. When approached by two blind men crying for mercy, Jesus asked, “Believe ye that I am able to do this?” and they answered, “Yea, Lord.” He then touched their eyes and told them that they would be healed according to their faith (Matthew 9:28). Pretty strong stuff.
According to my faith, how much can God do in my life?
According to my confidence in His power to heal, to change, to move mountains, how much can He do?
When my husband was trying to communicate to his VA doctor that his hip pain was more than arthritis, that the severe degeneration in his hips was causing great pain and discomfort affecting his ability to move and work, we did not know how long it would take for something to be done. God’s time frame and our time frame are often in different time zones. All the frustration we felt melted when we saw God’s hand in it all – the timing, the surgeon, the hospital, and even the physical therapy. How much time did I spend fretting and worrying instead of choosing to be confident that God knew everything and that He had a plan for surgery, for an amazing surgeon, and for a very helpful in-home physical therapist? Fretting and worrying are never a wise use of my time or energy.
While my husband cannot work at present, we are dependent on his VA disability medical benefits. Due to a complete hip replacement, the benefits should temporarily increase. We worried whether or not the increase in means would come in. It did. Not when we expected it to, but it came through. God came through.
He only asks for ‘faith as a grain of mustard seed’ (Matt 17:20). That does not sound too complicated, right? And yet, most times, I fret and worry, and I feel anxious. Does God fret? Does He worry? Is He feeling anxious?
Isn’t He all-wise, all-knowing, all-present, all-powerful? He is everything good and right and holy in times when I trust, and even when I choose not to.
Faith is stretching out my hand in confidence: ”Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief”. (Mark 9:24)
Remember the days when we went through a whole day without taking a photo? In this social media age, we can feel pressured to document every minute of our day and post it to Facebook, Instagram, and any other form of social sharing media. I thought I would share a few ‘stray gifts’ from the last few weeks without photos.
The last few weeks have been trying, to say the least. With my husband recovering from hip replacement surgery and my dad needing an impromptu knee surgery, life has been BUSY for me. I have been on the go every day taking either my husband or my dad to doctor appointments, sitting in waiting rooms, keeping the home together and dinner on the table. Because I was in the habit of looking for stray gifts, I was able to still notice the unexpected blessings in my days. It’s like the game of, “I spy with my little eye…”. Here is a list of some of the gifts I have ‘spied’ in the last few weeks:
A pretty little ladybug that landed on the car windshield after a long day. Seeing it made me stop and say, “Oh look!” to my son who was with me. Such cute little bugs, aren’t they?
We have had triple-digit temperatures here lately, but one morning I was up early and working in the yard. I remember the nice cool breeze, the windchimes gently chiming, and the peace of feeling comfortable for a bit outside.
One morning, I was RUSHED to get ready as an opportunity for a doctor appointment became available that day (for my dad’s knee/MRI). In my mad dash to shower and get ready, my son made me breakfast (and coffee!) and brought it upstairs so I could eat and prepare for the day at the same time. It’s tricky but doable. We had wanted to try a new recipe that morning and had already done the prep work the night before. He just finished making the French toast muffins by himself while I was getting ready for the day. Another morning, my husband cooked eggs for me while I was again hurrying to get out the door. Teamwork!
Rain! Twice in one week. That, truly, is a stray gift in these parts.
Did I mention I have been busy? One night, I slept for nine hours STRAIGHT! A miracle.
My son is home full time on break from college classes and for his twenty-third birthday, he and I did one of the things he loves best…we worked together in the kitchen making some of his favorite foods – breakfast pizza, homemade potato soup, and homemade crescent rolls.
When the MRI results came in for my dad that he did, indeed, need surgery on his left knee, surgery was able to be scheduled in one day. We quickly left the house for the hospital to register and the next day, he was on the operating table. The operation went well and now for the hard work of healing. No knee replacement was needed, but some repair work was in order. The surgery was this past Friday (August 16).
The afternoon of the surgery, after we came home from a long day, I was so tired. I went to bed around 5:00 PM (thinking I was just going to close my eyes for about an hour) and did not wake up until 1:00 AM. My husband and son thought to make me a sandwich ahead of time knowing I would wake up sometime feeling hungry. I was touched by their thoughtfulness.
I am thankful for butterflies, dragonflies, and bees spotted in our yard. For the scent of my basil in the breeze, for honeysuckle blooms, for yellow bells and climbing morning glories.
I am amazed at what wonderful meals can be made in a crockpot for busy days with just a few ingredients and a bit of creativity. There is nothing like a hot homemade meal, especially during the extra full seasons of life.
Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.
You never can measure what God will do through you if you are rightly related to Jesus Christ. Keep your relationship right with Him, then whatever circumstances you are in, and whoever you meet day by day, He is pouring rivers of living water through you, and it is of His mercy that He does not let you know it…It is the work that God does through us that counts, not what we do for Him.
Oswald Chambers
We can face Monday and any day with conviction.
The conviction that it is not up to us to change another person’s life. It is not our work, but the work of God.
The conviction that we do not live merely for ourselves, but that God is using us in whatever circumstances to pour living waters into someone else who is in need of mercy. We may not know how God is using us, but we can know His glory can shine in ways we may not expect.
The conviction that our life is not measured in terms of ‘usefulness’ by man’s standards, but by how much worth we put in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and what He has done and can do through us.
The conviction that we are frail and that nothing done in our own power will amount to much. Our emphasis should be on faith in God Himself and in the power He is willing to give if we only seek Him first.
LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is, that I may know how frail I am.
Last week, the city of El Paso was greatly shaken by the shooting which took place in a local WalMart. While the city is moving about more, there is still fear and uncertainty surrounding this horrific event. We have a choice as to how to move forward. We can let evil create panic, dismay, and even division or we can look for God’s light to filter through to show us a better way. As Christians, our faith is courageous when we choose to believe that God is not merely a light at the end of the tunnel, but that He is the Light guiding us through it. Courageous faith is believing in Him, that He is faithful during the easy days as well as the oh-so-hard-ones.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
When you find yourself facing an issue in your life, the purpose or reason or good thing that might come out of it being completely hidden from you–what do you do? Do you worry or fret, become preoccupied with the problem? Do you ignore it or avoid it? Do you complain about it, do you want to run away from it? Or do you see it as a situation in which you might be able to experience the power and grace of God at work? Do you watch for the work of God that is to be done in this situation?
from Patches of Godlight, by Jan Karon
In any situation, do I watch for the work of God or do I panic, doubt, and fear first? This month’s grace goals focus will be about faith and about being on the lookout for the power and grace of God. As for stray gifts, I thought I would wait to be surprised instead of having a specific theme.
Happy August and happy hunting for stray gifts in your life.
July’s blog theme has been about seeking what is necessary for this phase in life’s journey. I have written about letting go of items and emotions that no longer are of benefit in order to move forward effectively in life. To be mindful of the treasures I have and to manage them well has been a continuing work-in-progress.
We are but strangers and pilgrims on this earth and it would be wise to remember this in life. My journey is different than yours, but what we need for each journey is the same. Doubt? Fear? Despair? They have no place in the Christian’s heart. In letting go of excess effects and emotions, I am more able to carry steadfastly confidence, courage, and hope.
“We are not citizens of this world trying to make our way to heaven; we are citizens of heaven trying to make our way into this world. That radical Christian insight can be life-changing. We are not to live so as to earn God’s love, inherit heaven, and purchase our salvation. All those are given to us as gifts; gifts bought by Jesus on the cross and handed over to us. We are to live as God’s redeemed, as heirs of heaven, and as citizens of another land; the Kingdom of God…We live as those who are on a journey home; a home we know will have the lights on and the door open and our Father waiting for us when we arrive. That means in all adversity, our worship of God is joyful, our life is hopeful, our future is secure. There is nothing we can lose on earth that can rob us of the treasures God has given us and will give us.”
Borrowed from Patches of Godlight by Jan Karon
July’s Stray Gifts: Red, White, Blue, The Number Four
The two photos of red flowers are of our crepe myrtle tree and of oleanders. This crepe myrtle has been stepped on quite a few times by our dog running over it to catch a ball and by us when we were planting our Lady Banks rose bush nearby. I thought for sure we had killed it by now, but it’s still alive. I saw the oleanders on UTEP’s campus one day when I took Jonathan to class. Gorgeous! White and blue morning glories are gracing our yard now in various places. And there are four bunches of yellow bells on the bush. We planted them last year and they have come back in full force.
Family Update: My husband was operated on Monday, July 22, to have his right hip replaced. He was released from the hospital the next day. According to in-home care (the nurse, the physical therapy supervisor, and the physical therapist), John is doing really well. He is able to go up and down the stairs (with the aid of crutches) with no pain and moves around (carefully) well. After two weeks, he should be able to walk without the aid of his walker, feel less bruised from the surgery, and reduce pain medication. He will have in-home physical therapy five days a week for three weeks and a few weeks of therapy in another location afterwards, I believe. We are thankful for a successful surgery and are amazed by the difference in how he feels. He will still need the left hip replaced in time.
And now to the last in the series of entries on the topic: “Even Places”-
Third: A Step of Consciousness– Listen for the ‘Why’ to Clear the Chaos
A few years ago, when I came across the phrase in Psalm 26:12, “My foot standeth in an even place”, I had no idea how those seven words would be changing me over time. The last several blog posts have been about the journey to owning less stuff. My husband and I went through this a few years ago and I have been renewing purpose once again to evaluate items in our home. In this “Step of Consciousness”, part of seeking balance in life with stuff we owned was looking for why we had held on to excess clothing no longer worn, excess books we no longer read, excess stuff tucked away in boxes no longer needed or wanted, and excess emotions that weighed us down. We had kept these things through multiple cross-country moves over the years and knew if we ever moved again, carrying the excess baggage would be overwhelming. There are still more desk drawers to look through, clothing to be edited, and floor space to be cleared.
We had a few reasons for why we held on to things. On my part, I had saved clothes in hopes to wear my smaller-sized ones again. I had kept baby clothes in dreams to have another baby someday. I had hoarded items in boxes for sentimental reasons (even though I did not look in them often enough to be worth keeping). I had stored gifts given (that I did not need, but someone else could use) out of guilt. I had carried excess emotions and weight which held me back from growing strong physically and spiritually. While I have parted with quite a few boxes, books, and belongings in the last few years, I am ready to make strides in making more progress. These things take time (patience and wisdom, too)!
Seek peace and pursue it.
Psalm 34:14b
Part of Psalm 34:14 says, “Seek peace, and pursue it.” In finding balance in the last few years during major life changes and health challenges, this phrase had become a motto as well. Harmony with food/weight, finances, relationships, possessions is still on my mind and heart as I again go through this process of clearing space.
Answering the ‘why’ of holding onto not-needed/wanted items or emotions is a huge step in setting free possessions in life which are no longer of service. Whether the answer is guilt, emotional attachment or the task is too overwhelming to simplify, I had to face the issues head-on and let go to make any progress. I could not proceed forward to weight loss goals, to fewer distractions, and to simple living in the midst of disorder, confusion, and ‘mental fog’. As I look to streamline more, I seek to be reasonable in what our needs are in this phase of life.
It can seem a daunting task to clear out a closet, a room, a desk (a kitchen drawer, a garage, a shed, a dresser, a bookshelf…a.k.a. any avoided location) but once started, I find it usually does not take as much time as I thought it would. The key is to start. Sometimes I feel motivated to “cleanse” all at once. Other times, clearing or cleaning just three things immediately noticeable is about all I can do. Either method works!
I began the process a few years ago (and again recently) of finding peace by clearing excess e-mail subscriptions instead of trying to keep up with new recipes, exercises, and too many DIY projects. I stick to the meals my family knows and loves. I enjoy walking or rebounding for exercise and none of those crazy-energetic aerobic workouts. And I do NOT have the patience for DIY projects. I moved on to clearing just three things in a room at a time instead of stressing over trying to get it all done in one fell swoop during busy seasons.
Releasing ‘chaos’ by acknowledging what really matters helps me identify the beneficial in the present phase in life. Part of Hebrews 12:1 comes to mind about laying “aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” It takes physical effort (emotional and spiritual, too) to achieve the balance needed to move forward effectively. Excess stuff and emotions try patience, plague peace of mind, hinder productivity and limit the ability to make space for new and better things ahead.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the LORD.
Last week in A Step of Clarity- Find Your Even Place Part I, I shared a few thoughts on clearing space in the home and in my mind and heart. In my search for level ground amid the present challenging phase of life, instead of starting something new, I stopped doing a few things that were distracting from my work as a wife and mom. There seemed to be for me a lot of extra distractions from outside sources that were limiting me from living well and being all present. I stopped signing up for new and interesting e-mails and unsubscribed from ones which were no longer of interest or that I never read. The e-mail subscriptions, while good and potentially helpful, were piling up in my inbox and I was spending time on deleting them every week without ever reading any of them. I deactivated all social media accounts to clear my head and to focus on my own home. With my husband facing total hip replacement this month, I needed to eliminate distractions for more mental clarity.
This week, I am sharing “A Step of Consistency”. Look and Clear 3 has been my key thought process recently and it has been very beneficial in keeping the house running and in ‘presentable’ shape. Rather than being overwhelmed by a long to-do list, I look for three things needing to be done. When I am in the bathroom getting ready for the morning, instead of fretting over finding time to thoroughly clean, I pick three areas in need of attention – which varies from day to day. Clean off the counter, sweep, and throw away the trash. Another day I do three different tasks; wipe down the mirror, the sinks, and clean the toilet quickly. The same goes for other areas in the house. I wipe down, clean or tidy up, throw away, or shred three things and move on with the day. At first, it didn’t seem like much, but there is a noticeable difference by the end of the week. My tendency is to do all or nothing which can be very overwhelming. An all or nothing frame of mind hinders clarity and consistency in managing my day well.
In my continuing journey to own less, the “Look and Clear 3” mindset is helpful in this area of life as well. (For more on this, see my blog post: The Journey to Less Stuff.) The task of going through old boxes, drawers, and files can be mind-numbing. If I regularly take care of just three items, I still feel a sense of accomplishment in clearing space and getting organized. I want to manage what I have well, be intentional about what I own, and move forward wisely in the time I spend caring for things.
If you are feeling stressed by tasks left undone, try taking a quick look around in the space you are in throughout the day and consistently clear three things which are immediately noticeable. I am confident that within a week, you will notice a difference in the level of peace in your home and in your heart and mind.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Old high school and college photo albums were looked through one last time and while I have great memories, I realized I no longer needed to hold on to them. Photos and saved greeting cards were shredded or recycled.
Homeschool material I had kept was shredded or recycled and books were donated that my son did not want to keep. Because he had become a college student, I no longer needed to hold on to all that paper! (I had files of school work and shelves of books from over the years.)
My mother’s box of memories that was given to me was just that- her memories. I kept a few photos, my son wanted her 4-H notebook, but anything else in there had no special attachment since I was three years old when she passed away. I realized I was close to my mother’s side of the family and the memories they and my dad’s side of the family share of her meant more to me than her school yearbooks and scrapbooks. That box of her memories had been through seven states and one foreign country and stored in a corner of a closet or garage. It was time to do something with it.
Series of books I had loved but no longer read were given to a friend who I thought might enjoy them.
Note: It may seem harsh or unfeeling to ‘dispose’ of sentimental items such as photo albums, old notes from friends, things given to me, but I knew I had to say “enough” at some point -enough of storing things in drawers, files, or boxes left untouched for long periods of time. I wanted to manage what I had well, be intentional about what I owned, and move forward wisely in time spent caring for things.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Psalm 26:12
When I went through this process a few years ago, I had the theme in mind of finding an “even place” or a balanced perspective. It became increasingly difficult to ‘bless the Lord’ when I felt overwhelmed. There was so much I possessed that I did not need anymore. I felt indifferent to a lot of things I had been keeping for one reason or another. I had a difficult time, though, in knowing where to start. I lacked clarity of mind to make that first decision on what to empty, throw out, or donate first. What I started with back in 2016 was not in finding a place to start, but in figuring out what to stop. I wanted to articulate what was adding stress or more pressure. I needed space to breathe, to think, and to restore. And things that were taking up space which took my breath away due to frustration, I needed to clear.
I am at that place again, so I am revisiting what I had done a few years ago to make more headway in clearing space- whether physically (in a closet, on a shelf, etc.), emotionally, or mentally. And I do believe clearing space affects my spiritual life as well.
The first place to find some balance is with internet ‘stuff’ and this is how I am seeking clarity:
I am stopping all social media. I deactivated my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. There is a lot of negativity, over-sharing, information overload, scrolling and scrolling on my part, and distracting ‘mental noise’ for me right now. I told my husband the other day I felt my brain was ‘quieter’ since taking a step away. I felt I could be more mindful about my time. I could focus more on me and what I needed to be doing rather than what the masses were doing. I still keep in touch with those close to me through text or through Messenger.
I am stopping signing up for new recipes, health news, weight loss helps, gardening tips, etc. E-mails pile up and I never get around to reading all of them. If I need to look something up, Google is readily available.
While it is a meager start, it is a start nonetheless. It is where I began on the journey to find level ground a few years ago. When I stepped away from social media, I felt a nice quietness to my thoughts. When I started cleaning up the e-mails, I was able to see clearly the messages which needed a response.
There is more to come on clearing up space in my next entry: A Step of Consistency – Find Your Even Place Part II. For this week, though, I am stopping a few things that are distracting from my work as a wife and mom and seeking clarity of mind.
If you are seeking for clarity, maybe instead of looking to start something new, consider STOPPING something first–something that may be hindering your focus on what really matters in your life. Take a step back. Evaluate what is important. Clear some space. Breathe.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Psalm 26:12
A few years ago on my former blog, I wrote a series of posts about finding balance in life with stuff. We had just made a decision to simplify our work in ministry and my husband made a leap of faith to enroll in college courses to become a full time student. We felt overwhelmed. We felt at odds with ourselves, our finances, and our stuff that had built up over the years. He is now a college graduate, but due to the need to have both hips replaced, looking for work has been put on hold. We are thankful for his veteran benefits due to time served in the Navy. The blog post series entitled “Finding Your Even Place” was written in 2016. Three years later, we still have need for balance in some areas. Over the last few years, we have downsized quite a bit, but lately we have found that we could work on it a bit more. I am finding the more stuff we own, the more we have to manage it, find a place for it, clean it, etc.
In studying through the Psalms that year, I referred often to the phrase which became our new mantra; “My foot standeth in an even place” -Psalm 26:11.
An even place: balanced, steady, continuous, unwavering.
I did not know where to begin in finding an ‘even place’ or balance with issues that felt overwhelming. There had been so much going on in my mind of things I needed to clear out that were weighing me down, but I had too much that was weighing me down to do what needed doing. All that added stress. And who needs more stress??? And now with my husband facing two hip replacement surgeries and physical therapy, among other life challenges, I am definitely needing a steady frame of mind. Another Scripture verse which stood out to me is in Hebrews.
Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us…and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.
Hebrews 12:1
I still think of that verse often as, again, I am going through my closets, desk drawers, papers that need to be shred. Stuff (especially things I do not really need but I have due to various reasons) tends to be a distraction and takes away from a peaceful frame of mind.
While we have made great strides over the last three years in cleaning out items we no longer need, we could do another revision. For July, I am revisiting the old blog posts, renewing purpose to find more balance, and rewriting the posts with fresh perspective.
