Renewing Hope

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“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.”

-Vance Havner

“Hope” is a word my husband and I are using often this year. His body suffers with arthritis and pain from the hips down. He barely makes it to work and school, but pushes on because graduation is seven weeks away. Almost there. He has been seeing a rheumatologist outside the VA for pain issues, but any x-rays or attention to new medicine being prescribed is staying ‘under the radar’ of his VA primary care doctor. There has been confusion over medicine, over what is actually causing all the pain in my husband’s hips and legs, and more. We have been on an emotional roller coaster and my husband has been in contact with an advocate to seek help in communicating effectively with his doctor that something is wrong. The pain is too much to be ‘simple arthritis’. Is the pain from his fibromyalgia? Google doesn’t have all the answers we seek, and help with the VA is limited at this time. We have hope that the right someone at the right time will review all the x-rays and MRI results and see that the degenerative issues my husband is having needs attention. New medicine? A referral to see an orthopedist? Hip replacement surgery due to severe degeneration in his hip joints? Physical therapy? We have hope that this year, someone will be able to help him relieve some pain. We have hope that he will walk normally and not bent over working to put one foot in front of the other. We have hope that after graduation, he will be able to get a full time job. Driving is uncomfortable. The pain affects everything, yet every morning we wake up hoping this will be the day that my husband can be seen by someone who can help. Without hope and without knowing that God does see, He does hear, and that He may very well be working on the other end of the situation, I do not know where we would be. The days are hard. We are taking one step at a time. One x-ray, one MRI, one conversation with the advocate in hopes that things will change for the better concerning pain management is how we are managing. We do what we can do and pray God is working in ways we cannot see right now. In the meantime, my husband is able to keep a good testimony at work. He works with a lot of young people and they know he suffers and have shown they care. He is able to share with them about disabled veterans and how they can help support the military. In the meantime, we are still looking for ‘stray gifts’. In the meantime, we still count the blessings…the days when his pain is ‘manageable’ and the hours at night he sleeps. Every gift matters… especially in trying hours.

“…Though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.”

2 Corinthians 4:16

Stray Gifts Update: For March’s “stray gifts” themes, I had chosen to look for gifts fragrant, charming, growing, and sunlit.

  1. Sunlit peach tree blossoms and blue skies- When this photo was taken at our church in Mexico, it had been a few weeks since we had been there due to an ER visit with my husband and pain issues. It was very cold in our cement building for months. On this day, we had the door open and the ceiling fans on.
  2. One lone charming flower on a succulent plant outside.
  3. A homemade greeting card from my niece who is attending Bible college in California. I labeled this ‘stray gifts growing’ because she is a young lady far away from home (Australia) growing in the Lord, in knowledge, and in beauty.
  4. Sunlit mountains on the way home from a visit with my in-laws.
  5. Sunlit, growing leaves on trees and bushes.
  6. Charming, fragrant Lady Banks roses starting to bloom.

Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.
-William Wordsworth, 1806

Renewing Purpose

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“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”

Psalm 19:14

I wouldn’t consider myself a good listener. I am quick to form an opinion or offer a solution. I often judge and am impatient with myself and with others. My Grace Goals for March Bible study has been about “Renewal”. (See also: Renewing Rest and Renewing Focus) Today, I am thinking on Renewing Purpose – a purpose to listen more, talk less. It is challenging to be still and quiet thoughts and words. And if I am not saying anything out loud, noise is going on in my head about what I want to get done in a day. Always thinking, planning, plotting my next project. Even in ‘down time’, I am meditating on what is next or what needs to be crossed off my ‘to do’ list. (Especially since spring is here and I have gardening plans!) So far my studies have been about resting in the sufficiency of God to heal and to renew, and about focus; taking my eyes off media and distractions to recognize more His working in my life. Renewing purpose to listen for God’s voice, His leading, it is easy to think that is reserved for Sundays, sitting in church, listening to preaching. It is more difficult to turn off the television, to turn down the radio, to separate from noise, stress, work, and busyness to be still during the week. It can be unnerving as I think I should be doing something. And when I move my focus to incorporate moments of stillness or quietness to read, to be outside, to journal, I find myself quieter in spirit and calmer in attitude. Renewal may look like something entirely different to another person and with God making us each in a unique way, He can work in different ways through various means, but with the same message in mind; “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” Matthew 11: 28, 29. First things first: Come unto me → If I move towards Him, then rest/renewal will be given. Take my yoke → If I identify with Him and learn from Him, learn His direction for my life,  then there is rest/renewal ‘unto your souls’ – renewal because, no matter what happens, I am secure in my every-day-purpose here on this earth. God is not limited to time and space, yet sometimes ‘time and space’ is what I only understand. It starts with recognizing the need for time set part (in any given place at any given time), breathing in the moments of peace, and letting God teach what renewal means to Him for me as an individual- purposing to rest my words and thoughts and listen to Him.  

For a busy minded person, taking time to renew rest, energy, and peace of mind can seem a bit of a nuisance with so much to do. But, didn’t God create rest? Doesn’t He offer renewal daily?

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable”…not just the words that come out of my mouth, but what goes on in my heart as well. Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.” What goes on in the heart, usually comes out the mouth. It is a refection. And if I find myself being more judgmental, more impatient (even with God) or stressed, then it is indeed time for a ‘time out’ to rest my words, to renew purpose to listen more, and to calm my heart.

Renew:

to replace (something that is broken or worn out)→ working on replacing my need to have my opinions heard all the time with listening more; pausing when tempted to judge 


to resume (an activity) after an interruption→ working on resuming quiet moments in the day, purposing to take a break from the noise of television, the radio, from work

to give fresh life or strength to→ working on letting go of self made plans when the day changes, recognizing God is still in control, He is not surprised. Trusting His hand is on the day no matter how it goes renews life and strength.

Resting words and whirling thoughts and renewing purpose to listen more and talk less become difficult when using our own strength. In Psalm 19:14, David names God as his strength and redeemer. To withdraw words, opinions, and judgment can be done through God’s strength. And when I fail and need to be reminded to let go of control, to yield my plans to Him, to set apart time to take a break, there is the Redeemer to renew purpose, to make things new, right, and whole.  


Renewing Focus

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Unto thee lift I up mine eyes, O thou that dwellest in the heavens. Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress; so our eyes wait upon the LORD our God, until that he have mercy upon us.

Psalm 123:1-2

I have never focused on Lent or its meaning until I came across this study topic two years ago entitled, A Sabbath Journey for Lent. This study comes to mind again as I saw people in town recently with ash marks on their foreheads. This time frame is leading up to the remembrance of Christ’s crucifixion and the celebration of His resurrection which we will specifically observe during Easter next month. Permitting the world to take this time frame and twist it into focusing on ashes and self-guilt instead of the amazing redemptive work of Grace and freedom through Christ is heartbreaking. Letting God work and making this time that the world deems one thing into something of eternal value for me personally is part of my March “grace goals” theme on “Renewal”. Giving up ‘stuff’ for Lent tends to be temporary, but focusing on giving my life to the One Who gave His for me means something and has an eternal effect. It is taking the attention off religion and placing it on the relationship with Christ. In Luke 10, Christ tells Martha who was “cumbered about with much serving” (vs 40) and “careful and troubled about many things” (vs 41) that all that wasn’t needful. What was needful and good was what Mary was doing- sitting at the feet of Jesus, body at rest, ears listening, and eyes on Him. By the end of the book of Luke, Christ was being crucified. I live in a predominately Catholic society and with Easter around the corner and signs of ashes and sacrifice lately, it has me pondering on renewing focus.  

How much do I let media, religion, or busyness distract my heart? When I watch the news more, I become frustrated. A lot of the world is an angry place right now staring us down -daring us to defy their wants and ungodly wishes, no matter now illogical they are. God is not surprised by any of this. He is not afraid or anxious. It is easy to notice the spiritual unrest because it is everywhere. Paying attention to religion (instead of a personal relationship with Christ) and man-made rules can hinder the ability to let God be the One to lead. Too much busyness leaves little room for meditating on God’s heart and hand in my life as well and can drown out His still small voice. How much do I focus on what other people are doing, how they are thinking, and where they are going? I should be sitting at the feet of Jesus, body at rest, ears listening with my eyes on Him. 

Renewing focus is to rest the eyes. It is turning my attention to God’s heart and not the world’s unrest. It is occupying my time with God’s view of me because He sees me, He knows my shortcomings, and even still, He has a purpose in mind for me. 

Father, We Seek Thee (a prayer found in the back of an old hymnal)

Father,
We seek Thy truth lest we be deceived and misled.

We seek Thy love lest we go unloving and uncaring through the day.

We seek Thy peace lest we waste our time in anxieties that eat up our energies and profit neither ourselves nor others.

We seek Thyself lest, living to ourselves, we remain lonely and alien and frustrated.

May we know today what it means to live in Christ’s life, to be open to His mind, to be governed by His love, to be ruled by His purpose. -Amen

Renewing Rest

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Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

Psalm 103:1-4

If the Lord redeemed us through salvation from utter destruction, He meant from all destruction, not just from eternity in darkness and hell. Why then, do I often inflict on myself the mental and emotional wrecking ball of doubt, guilt, and insecurity? All throughout Psalm 103, David was renewing and resting his trust in God.

  • He gives good things.
  • His is merciful and gracious.
  • He does not always chide.
  • He removes our sins as far as the east is from the west.
  • He remembers we are dust.

In thinking over the topic of “Renewal” (March’s #gracegoals2019 theme), verse 5 in Psalm 103 stands out, “Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s”. I am reminded of eagles when they molt, or shed their feathers. They get rid of old, weighty feathers to make way for newer ones which renews their strength and ability to soar.

Renewing our ability to rest in God and the work He has done for our righteousness takes a ‘molting’ or shedding of old behaviors which limit our growth in Christ. Rejecting feelings of guilt over sin or of things not done right in the past which God has forgiven us for is part of that. Moving away from comparing our lives to someone else’s and parting with the ‘I’m not good enough’ self-talk is freeing a heavy weight that keeps us from moving forward. There is no renewal, there is no rest when we listen to a voice contrary to what God says in the Bible.

To renew: to resume after an interruption; to re-establish; to give fresh life to

Whatever interrupted the ability to rest in God, whatever needs to be re-established for a firmer faith, whatever needs a new perspective and fresh life, God already has that covered under the blood. Remembering God’s example of favor, of grace, of forgiveness, and of sympathy will help regain strength and faith through God who delights to give good things, and who chooses to crown us with lovingkindness and mercy (Psalm 103:4). From the beginning of Psalm 103, with his soul and everything in him, David gave honor to God. A good place to start ‘molting’ is to begin at the beginning by glorifying God, by recognizing all His benefits on our behalf, and by accepting His renewing rest.

Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me. bless his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.

Psalm 103:1,2

Grace Goals for March

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For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 4:15-16

This month’s study theme is “Renewal”. I have been thinking about the verses shared above in that things which happen in our lives through thanksgiving cause the grace of God to redound (contribute greatly, echo, advance) to the glory of God. And in remembering that, we are not to collapse under life’s pressures but be renewed day by day. Our family has had a lot of pressure lately – my husband’s physical struggles and an uncertain financial future due to his recent battles. We have so many questions. Does God see? Does He have a plan? How long do we wait before my husband can be seen by a doctor who can help him with pain management? And how do we live grateful for all in the process to resound God’s glory?

With spring in the air (for now) in our part of the world, the word “renewal” came to mind as I was working in the yard last week. It was refreshing to be outside in the beautiful weather, hands in the dirt, trimming off dead leaves and branches, and cleaning up winter’s mess. The work of cleaning up the yard and plants makes way for the sun to get to the roots. As tired as I was by the end of the day, I felt renewed because I knew all that work would add to our enjoyment outside later. After a ‘spiritual winter’, there is some cleaning up to do as well. We need to trim off thoughts, preoccupations, and behaviors that hinder growth which makes way for the Son to reach our faith roots. We need to be honest about our goals and do the hard work necessary so there is room for renewal.

Throughout the month, I will be sharing Bible verses and thoughts on this topic as well as looking for ‘stray gifts’ charming, fragrant, growing, and sunlit.

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.

H. Borland

Every Step Counts

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I have been a Fitbit wearer for four years off and on. I like keeping track of my steps in a day and feel good about myself when I have done a lot of walking. I remember a phase when I had not been wearing it and mentioned to a fellow-Fitbit-wearing-friend that I felt regretful for not keeping track of my steps during that time. “That’s ok”, she said. “Every step still counts towards your fitness goals whether you know it or not.”

In a recent blog post, Strength of Heart, I shared Bible verses and thoughts on a spiritually strong heart as it has been a topic of study for February. The Fitbit conversation came to mind as I was thinking about a strong heart and the steps it takes to be physically and spiritually strong. Every step of exercise taken works for our benefit whether or not we are tracking our steps. Likewise, each step we take nearer to God counts towards a strong heart spiritually. If growth is not shared on social media, did it really happen? If progress is not spoken aloud in a testimony at church in front of other people, does it count? It sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? Of course, every movement made towards walking in paths of righteousness is beneficial. Every offering of forgiveness, every kindness shown, every light we rekindle through encouragement is fruitful for spiritual growth. Every Scripture verse we read, take to heart, and let change us more into Christ’s image helps us thrive. Many times, we are not the ones to even notice it. When I walk more, my family notices it. My husband will comment that he senses more strength in me and will remind me of how far I have come in my health goals in the last few years. When spiritual growth happens within, others may notice it first. We seem stronger spiritually, less judgmental, more at peace.

So take heart. If you feel as if you have been working so hard on ‘spiritual progress’ and do not feel as if you have striven, know that every step you take towards wisdom, towards kindness, towards forgiveness, towards godliness counts. When I am walking more, I am sore. My muscles hurt and I wonder if I should keep going. However, when my family notices and compliments on the progress, I keep striving for my goal. Spiritual growth hurts, too, sometimes. And when others notice that I have been kinder, more patient, more forgiving, I know that every little move I make draws me nearer to the heart of God. It makes my heart stronger and the life I have in Christ more fruitful.

Add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.

2 Peter 1:5-9

The Gift of 86,400 Seconds

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God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say “thank you”?

William Ward

It is quite challenging to have a theme each month – for study, for photo opportunities/stray gifts – and it’s only February! I have followed other challenges in the past, but felt God was leading me to create my own based on where He was guiding my studies and blog writing. For this month’s stray gifts theme, the words which came to mind were: admirable, kind, lovely, and sweet. For anyone who may be reading the term ‘stray gifts’ in my writing for the first time, it is based on a quote by William Wadsworth who wrote, “Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find”. I have been taking notes, snapping photos, and writing about noticing these ‘stray gifts’, but with the take on that God has His hand in everything. These gifts really are not strays, but handfuls of purpose in my path that He put there to bring my attention to Him. Here is what I have so far for February: (photos first this time, explanations below)

#1) “Lovely” – From our kitchen window this week, we watched this bird (I think a finch) eating away at the feeder. He had beautiful red and brown feathers.

#2) “Admirable” – Jonathan (my son) is a junior at UTEP and it is his first semester attending. In between classes or while waiting for my husband to be done with work, he has been walking all over campus to see what’s what. The theater, science buildings, the basketball stadium that was used in the 60’s. Track and field, football stadium, Geology building, Fine Arts building where he found himself beneath the stage…I say “admirable” because he was curious about something and went to explore. He could have looked at photos online and it would have been much easier. But he has been walking all around the campus lately because he was interested. He walked in cowboy boots, by the way. Because ..well…we’re in Texas. That’s what we do.

#3) “Sweet” – TWO lovely cards last week. What a fun surprise! The handmade card and envelope from my 11 yr old niece. I love it! The other card from a long time friend which made it all the more special.

#4) “Lovely” – Don Juan climbing red rose bush with baby leaves. I read that climbing roses need not be pruned right away, to wait until after the first bloom. I only planted this last year so I am looking forward to seeing how they do this year. #straygifts in lovely red roses wanting to wake up already.

#5) “Sweet” – My husband brought home these cookies for me knowing I love a chocolate and mint combination. Coincidentally, I was drinking mint tea that day because I was in the mood for it. (He didn’t know that.)

#6) “Kind” – My husband isn’t really known for being a “kid person”, yet somehow he has managed to have a collection of buddies in our church in Mexico. We are not sure when this game started of him getting their shoes and putting them just out of reach, but they are highly entertained by it. They pretty much hand him a shoe for him to toss. Sometimes, my tall son comes to the rescue with a ladder to get shoes off the roof. Stray gifts in surprising entertainment, kind adults who play with kids, and sweet play, too.

Strength of Heart

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“Follow your heart”, the world advises. “If it feels good, do it.” Yet in the Bible, God guides us to trust HIS heart and HIS path because our hearts lead us astray all too easily. The heart is deceitful, wicked, swayed and distracted. But there is H O P E. There is a Redeemer who longs to cleanse, heal, renew, and guide.

Over on Facebook this month, I have been posting Scripture verses pertaining to my February “Grace Goals”. Along with these verses, I have been sharing prayers and thoughts. Here are last week’s reflections:

_______________________________________

Within me, Lord, let no seed of resentment take root and grow.

Within me, I want to know joy, wisdom, and grace.

Within me, deep down, I know that strength of heart comes from not comparing my life to others or in jumping to conclusions. It comes from trusting You and Your plan for my life and the way I should go.

Within me, plant a will to forgive and the ability to extend mercy for I have received above and beyond what I deserve from You.

________________________________________

I want to see You, Lord, in the every day.

Shadows fall, I turn to disbelief instead of the Divine.

Keep my heart pure from doubting that You are good. Keep me safe from the shouting of the world and from those against You, so that I may notice Your hand working in ways I may not see and hear Your still small voice.

In order to truly see You, free my heart from distrust, from complaining, from comparing and dissatisfaction. You have given me more than I deserve and more than I will ever need. When my heart and thoughts are focused in the right direction, I will see all that You have given me and all that You are.

_______________________________________

My flesh and my heart ignores, neglects, deserts, disappoints, and forgets.

But…However…Nevertheless…Still

God is my courage, my stability, my anchor, my might.

______________________________________

Wait on the Lord…continue, persevere, endure, persist, remain

and He will…

bolster, establish, restore, sustain, fortify.

Grace Goals for February

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I am not sure if I should admit this, but I do not have February’s goals all planned out like I did for January. Sometimes a mind block happens and more and more, I see it as a blank page waiting to be filled in the right time. I stop guessing what I think God wants to teach me and just listen. I do have the topic of study for me and I do know the “stray gifts” themes at least.


Last month, I shared a few thoughts on praying for the caregiver as part of some ‘grace goals’ I had. This month for a prayer plan, I keep coming back to praying for my own heart to be right. If my own heart isn’t in the right place, all of what I do will not come from a sincere place. A Scripture verse that comes to mind:

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23

Keep (synonyms): conduct, control, manage, preserve

Diligence (synonyms): alertness, earnestness, effort

To preserve my heart with all effort requires paying attention to my responses to life- from how I deal with trials and setbacks to how I love others. More to come as I know more the direction God is leading me.


Minister Grace

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This month, a focus has been on encouraging through three ways: praying for a caregiver you know, writing a note or card to someone, and through complementing. While looking for Bible verses to share on Facebook on the topic of encouragement, I found this:

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Ephesians 4:29

I began to think of being an encouragement in a different way than I had been writing about. More than praying, more than writing a note, and more than complementing someone, encouraging others can be done simply through our behavior – how we speak in our every day lives. Based on how I communicate, am I an encouragement to others who might be around listening? Do I complain often? Do I speak well of others? Are my words useful? Does my behavior help improve others or impair? Ouch. The answers to those questions sting a bit. My words are not always useful for good nor do they at all times minister grace, to be honest. Looks like I have some work to do.

In the meantime, I will keep counting the stray gifts, keep looking for the good and pray that in some way, sharing them uplifts and inspires others to look for the gifts in their lives as well. Here are this week’s stray gifts photos: (January’s theme: inspirational, white, heartfelt, new growth)

Top Left: A little bit of color is left on the rose bush from last year. The rose was ready to bloom but had frozen overnight. Soon it will be time to prune the rose bushes to make way for another year of new growth.

Top Middle: The book, “Patches of Godlight” by Jan Karon. It is full of inspirational quotes, poems, and Bible verses. I have shared many parts of this book on social media. It is well-loved and used often.

Top Right: This is a daylily I had just about given up for dead. I bought it for $3.00 last year on clearance. Looks like it might be ok.

Bottom Left: This pink oleander plant was transplanted from the front yard to the back when we first moved in. Over the last 5 years, it showed a little life after the transplant, so we kept cutting the dead branches down to make way for the new. Last year, this bush exploded in height and in blooms. It seems it might make it another year. Healthy looking growth reaching for the sun.

Bottom Right: Stray gifts “white” -the top of our dog’s head when she nuzzles in for some love. We adopted her a few years ago and she is an entertaining playmate, a fun walking companion, a good listener, and an excellent encourager.

Not pictured: Heartfelt hope in x-ray results for my husband who has been struggling with pain in his hips and legs for a long time. The VA has not wanted to do much with this issue because he was told he was ‘too young’ to have a hip replacement when they first detected a problem. Now both his hips are bad and are basically bone on bone. “Severe degenerative change” is how the findings were written. Good news: He doesn’t have an auto immune disease as we originally thought. This issue is fixable and he is hopeful for a better quality of life in the future.


Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.
-William Wordsworth, 1806