He Holds

Perhaps the opposite of faith is not doubt, but fear.

Ann Voskamp- One Thousand Gifts

I call myself a “believer”. I believe that God sent His Son to die on the cross for my sins, that Christ rose from the grave, and that He came to save me. I was saved at a young age and one would think that I, on the sunny side of 49 years old, would have no trouble trusting that God is a good God. I trust the Savior for salvation from sins, yes, but do I trust Him for the salvation from fear? A lot of setbacks, a few surgeries for John (a shoulder one coming up in June), some changes in plans, and the question marks about the next year have caused a bit of worry. Is God surprised by these things? My mind says, “No”. My heart is wary.

Much (if not all) of the apprehension in my life over whether or not God will take care of me (us) has proven a waste of time. If I had stilled the doubts and waited for God to prove He is the “I am” in everything, I would have had a better way to use up my energy.

“Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.” John 6:29

Stress and questioning God seem easier than trusting. Fretting and fearing are a lot less work because they require no discipline, no training of the mind to do the hard thing, no letting go of control. They cause the heart to be lazy, forgetful, and wild. Anxiety never brings joy. The work of God for me is to believe on Him, to believe Him – that He is watching, that He is in the making of our future, that He is able to care for all the details in life. With a trusting heart, I can thank Him for salvation from sins to salvation from fear and worry – whether or not I have answers about what the future holds.

“Can God be counted on? Count blessings and find out how many of His bridges have held…Trust is the bridge from yesterday to tomorrow, built with planks of thanks…I can walk the planks – from known to unknown – and know: He holds.”

Ann Voskamp – One Thousand Gifts

With Confidence and Expectancy

Faith gives us the courage to face the present with confidence and the future with expectancy.

Having faith in God recognizes that He puts things in my path for a reason. Each small thing, each step forward in life, each moment adds up to His drawing me closer and helps me face a new day with confidence. John and I have had a lot of changes over the last few years and have some major decisions coming up which include shoulder surgery, a career change and a possible move. Facing the present with confidence is not easy somedays, yet nothing is a surprise to God. He is in the business of working out all things for His glory. My feet can hit the floor in the morning expecting that His plan is not for evil or for confusion but for peace and for a closer walk with Him.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

At the Head of the Line

You are never a number with God. With Him, you are always at the head of the line.

Countless times I have been waiting on the phone to schedule a doctor appointment for my dad. Most times, I am unable to talk to anyone immediately and receive an automated response, “Please hold. The next available operator will be with you shortly. You are number 6. Thank you for your patience”. With God, I am never on hold. I am never a number waiting in line until He is available. At this moment, He is ready with an instant ear and a willing heart to hear the voice of His child.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

Psalm 46:1

Even Through the Hard Things

Faith makes things possible, not easy.

On my blog, I have quite a few drafts that I had started writing a year or so ago and had intentions of posting someday. Now that I am home more due to the ‘social-distancing’, I have been reviewing the drafts. What I wrote two or three years ago concerning a Scripture verse still is relevant for today. I am reminded that God’s Word is timeless. I do not remember the circumstances that surrounded the Fixed on Faith #16 a few years ago (for reference, I have up to twenty-six Fixed on Faith posts total at present), but, “Faith makes things possible, not easy” sure can apply to today. My husband was in the process of applying for work after his two hip surgeries and now with uncertain days ahead, we will trust God to work out the timing and our finances. With our son’s college being on lockdown and classes only online the rest of the semester, we will trust God that it can be done and be done well. We have a church across the border in Juárez, Mexico and the border is closed to us crossing. We will trust God that the man He has placed there during my husband’s recovery will continue to capably lead the church. “Trust God” may sound trite or too easy of an answer to the question, “What do we do?” And yet Christ simply says, “Come unto me…and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

Courage: the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear

Dictionary.com

Life can be scary right now. There is a lot of uncertainty and fear of the future. I believe faith has more power than fear and even though some things may not be easy, convenient, or pleasant, I can determine to keep a quality of mind that will enable and not cripple. I cannot do anything about curing this virus, but God can, and I will do my part in staying home. I will pray for those who must go to work and who face this thing head-on. What I can do, too, is to live every day with courage, with my thoughts on the Savior and not on the situation …even through the hard things.

Through God we shall do valiantly: for he is it that shall tread down our enemies.

Psalm 60:12

I Commit My Day

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

When I hear advice about what to do during this ‘quarantine’, I hear, “Don’t listen to too much news”, “Get outside in nature”, “Enjoy learning a new hobby or language”, “Stay calm”, “Bake!” and the list goes on. Here in our house, we are working on a few projects such as cleaning out the shed, tidying up the yard, planting wildflower and sunflower seeds. Indoors, there are few things needing to be cleaned, aired-out, and organized. Each day, we commit to being productive and to using our time home wisely. And some days, we commit to rest and enjoy not having to go anywhere or do anything. Whether we are working, playing, or resting, we have peace because we know God is in control and His grace will still be there tomorrow when we wake up and commit our day all over again.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

Max Lucado

New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions….why am I writing about this now, in March? I am finding that amid this coronavirus pandemic, I am able to work on my resolutions and thought I’d share. But first, a family update.

I wrote last year about my husband John needing two hip replacements. The right hip was replaced in July, the left hip in October. He is in physical therapy still and is recovering more and more. We are now concerned about his right shoulder which has a full tear in the rotator cuff (due to an old injury). Right now, his doctor wants him taking anti-inflammatory medication, but we know that is just a bandaid of sorts for the time being.

Our son Jonathan is a senior in college. Due to the coronavirus, he will be taking the rest of his classes online for this semester. His major is History and lately, he has been leaning toward the field of research.

My dad’s health is stable at present.

As for me, I am finding more time to work on my resolutions for the new year. I want to spend more time outdoors. I also intend to read more, create more, and stay off social media more. I purpose to add beauty to my life by keeping fresh flowers in the house, by lighting candles at night and having a lit candle on the dinner table during the meal. I plan to look at beautiful photos or take them myself. I mean to listen to music more. Because we have been staying home, I am able to accomplish these things.

One activity we are adding as a family is walking for ten minutes after each meal. We clean up the table, put our walking shoes on and go in the backyard to walk. I set a timer and we walk around the yard, play with the dog, and notice each and every bloom and bird. It is a perfect time to do so because our plants are starting to bud and the weather is perfect. It gets us outdoors and looking at all the growing things.

The book I am currently reading is “Holy Noticing: The Bible, Your Brain, and the Mindful Space Between Moments” by Charles Stone.

As far as creating goes, I love to make my own greeting cards. I have been working on organizing all my craft paper and gathering ideas for more cards. I would also like to get back into writing, sharing more of the “Fixed on Faith” posts I have, more “stray gifts”, and a few inspirational quotes and things that come across my path.

Did you make any new resolutions this year? If so, are you keeping up with any of them? Stay safe and well out there!

Stray Gifts: Top Row: daffodil photos taken when John and I went away for our 25th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago -photos were taken in a park we found. Middle Row: onion chives I didn’t know were coming back and on the right, a banana succulent that looks like a curtain now Bottom Row: our ash tree stretching up to the sun, a Morning Glory rope I found while cleaning up dead vines, and my trailing Periwinkle


Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find. -William Wordsworth, 1806

A Step of Clarity – Find Your Even Place Part I

In The Journey to Less Stuff, Stable and Satisfied, and Grace Goals for July, I have written about my need to declutter, get organized, and own less ‘stuff’. I went through this process a few years ago and made great strides.

  • Old high school and college photo albums were looked through one last time and while I have great memories, I realized I no longer needed to hold on to them. Photos and saved greeting cards were shredded or recycled.
  • Homeschool material I had kept was shredded or recycled and books were donated that my son did not want to keep. Because he had become a college student, I no longer needed to hold on to all that paper! (I had files of school work and shelves of books from over the years.)
  • My mother’s box of memories that was given to me was just that- her memories. I kept a few photos, my son wanted her 4-H notebook, but anything else in there had no special attachment since I was three years old when she passed away. I realized I was close to my mother’s side of the family and the memories they and my dad’s side of the family share of her meant more to me than her school yearbooks and scrapbooks. That box of her memories had been through seven states and one foreign country and stored in a corner of a closet or garage. It was time to do something with it.
  • Series of books I had loved but no longer read were given to a friend who I thought might enjoy them.  
  • Note: It may seem harsh or unfeeling to ‘dispose’ of sentimental items such as photo albums, old notes from friends, things given to me, but I knew I had to say “enough” at some point -enough of storing things in drawers, files, or boxes left untouched for long periods of time. I wanted to manage what I had well, be intentional about what I owned, and move forward wisely in time spent caring for things.

My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.

Psalm 26:12

When I went through this process a few years ago, I had the theme in mind of finding an “even place” or a balanced perspective. It became increasingly difficult to ‘bless the Lord’ when I felt overwhelmed. There was so much I possessed that I did not need anymore. I felt indifferent to a lot of things I had been keeping for one reason or another. I had a difficult time, though, in knowing where to start. I lacked clarity of mind to make that first decision on what to empty, throw out, or donate first. What I started with back in 2016 was not in finding a place to start, but in figuring out what to stop. I wanted to articulate what was adding stress or more pressure. I needed space to breathe, to think, and to restore. And things that were taking up space which took my breath away due to frustration, I needed to clear.

I am at that place again, so I am revisiting what I had done a few years ago to make more headway in clearing space- whether physically (in a closet, on a shelf, etc.), emotionally, or mentally. And I do believe clearing space affects my spiritual life as well.

The first place to find some balance is with internet ‘stuff’ and this is how I am seeking clarity:

  • I am stopping all social media. I deactivated my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. There is a lot of negativity, over-sharing, information overload, scrolling and scrolling on my part, and distracting ‘mental noise’ for me right now. I told my husband the other day I felt my brain was ‘quieter’ since taking a step away. I felt I could be more mindful about my time. I could focus more on me and what I needed to be doing rather than what the masses were doing. I still keep in touch with those close to me through text or through Messenger.
  • I am stopping signing up for new recipes, health news, weight loss helps, gardening tips, etc. E-mails pile up and I never get around to reading all of them. If I need to look something up, Google is readily available.

While it is a meager start, it is a start nonetheless. It is where I began on the journey to find level ground a few years ago. When I stepped away from social media, I felt a nice quietness to my thoughts. When I started cleaning up the e-mails, I was able to see clearly the messages which needed a response.

There is more to come on clearing up space in my next entry: A Step of Consistency – Find Your Even Place Part II. For this week, though, I am stopping a few things that are distracting from my work as a wife and mom and seeking clarity of mind.

If you are seeking for clarity, maybe instead of looking to start something new, consider STOPPING something first–something that may be hindering your focus on what really matters in your life. Take a step back. Evaluate what is important. Clear some space. Breathe.


Grace Goals for July

My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.

Psalm 26:12

A few years ago on my former blog, I wrote a series of posts about finding balance in life with stuff. We had just made a decision to simplify our work in ministry and my husband made a leap of faith to enroll in college courses to become a full time student. We felt overwhelmed. We felt at odds with ourselves, our finances, and our stuff that had built up over the years. He is now a college graduate, but due to the need to have both hips replaced, looking for work has been put on hold. We are thankful for his veteran benefits due to time served in the Navy. The blog post series entitled “Finding Your Even Place” was written in 2016. Three years later, we still have need for balance in some areas. Over the last few years, we have downsized quite a bit, but lately we have found that we could work on it a bit more. I am finding the more stuff we own, the more we have to manage it, find a place for it, clean it, etc.

In studying through the Psalms that year, I referred often to the phrase which became our new mantra; “My foot standeth in an even place” -Psalm 26:11. 

An even place: balanced, steady, continuous, unwavering.

I did not know where to begin in finding an ‘even place’ or balance with issues that felt overwhelming. There had been so much going on in my mind of things I needed to clear out that were weighing me down, but I had too much that was weighing me down to do what needed doing. All that added stress. And who needs more stress??? And now with my husband facing two hip replacement surgeries and physical therapy, among other life challenges, I am definitely needing a steady frame of mind. Another Scripture verse which stood out to me is in Hebrews.

Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us…and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

Hebrews 12:1

I still think of that verse often as, again, I am going through my closets, desk drawers, papers that need to be shred. Stuff (especially things I do not really need but I have due to various reasons) tends to be a distraction and takes away from a peaceful frame of mind.

While we have made great strides over the last three years in cleaning out items we no longer need, we could do another revision. For July, I am revisiting the old blog posts, renewing purpose to find more balance, and rewriting the posts with fresh perspective.

Coming up next: A Step of Clarity

Grace Goals for May

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

Quoted to me many years ago by my friend Carolyn

What happened to grace goals for May?? Life. That’s what happened. And with life, comes the need for flexibility in plans and in desired outcomes. I have still been writing and sharing different things on Facebook, but have not had the time to do any sort of study theme. And I’m ok with that. I was busy helping my husband (John) and son (Jonathan) to the finish line of the end of the semester, getting ready for my niece to visit us, and keeping the house running. John and Jonathan have now finished another semester and John is a college graduate at the age of forty-seven! Jonathan plans to take summer courses and the next step for John is hip replacement surgery. He is in a tremendous amount of pain and the VA has put in a consult for him to see an orthopedic surgeon.

My niece will be with us a few more days before friends visit and then my brother and sister-in-law and their crew of four kids are coming. I see no study themes in the near future, and again, I’m ok with that. I may post short things here and there as I have time and share on the blog a few things I have already put on Facebook over the last month. I choose the grace of being flexible! I am still noticing the stray gifts and am so thankful for new mercies every day.

Words Unspoken

“She is confident in her abilities and how she manages life.”

“He knows he looks great in that shirt.”

“She realizes how important she is to everyone around her.”

“He is aware of how brave I think he is for following his dreams while struggling with chronic pain.”

“She feels no fear and always does things with confidence.”

“He believes in himself and the choices he makes for his family.”

All things I think about particular people but never tell them.

Surely, they know.

They must.

But, not necessarily.

Words go unsaid. “They know how I feel”, I think. But what they see in the mirror and what I see may be two different things.

What if I shared the words I think? Words of encouragement and hope. A compliment. What if I gave something meaningful for them to hold on to? Something true, lovely, of good report (Philippians 4:8) from me to them about them. Because deep down, I don’t know what a difficult day they may have had- the health struggles, the worries. Nagging questions, fear, and crippling doubt could very well be hidden behind the closed doors of a brave front.

Words unspoken help no one.

Words unspoken spark no joy, offer no hope, and give no warmth.

Say the words. Give the compliment. Share a warm, ‘Hello’.

It might make all the difference in the world.

#gracegoals2019

Other “Grace Goals 2019” for January Posts: