Don’t think of the things you didn’t get after praying. Think of the countless blessings God gave you without asking.
Anonymous
Some of you know that my husband had his second hip replaced in October. The first one was done in July. The summer and fall have been filled with surgeries, physical therapy, and managing the home and schedules. This time around has been harder for my husband physically and it is taking longer to heal than we thought it would. All of November, I was concerned with what I was going to share here on the blog concerning the ‘grace goal’ for that month. I had several ideas to write about, but not the brain space to sit and really write. Now that December is here and the end of my Grace Goals theme I have had, I look back at the last year and see a thread of grace. While life was busy and I was trying to stay on top of our new normal, the thing that occurs to me as I look back on this year’s blog entries is that I was and still am counting the stray gifts. The stray gifts in a day have taken me by surprise, have added joy to the day, and have reminded me that God is still present when life gets crazy. Stray gifts come in all sizes and shapes from time alone to a handwritten note sent from a friend to flowers blooming in the yard or around town that I see. Big and small, I welcome them all. When the days were long and we were all tired, I still found reminders of God’s hand in our lives.
I pray for healing for my husband, for wisdom for our son who will soon be a college senior, for my dad’s health, for our ministry over in Mexico which has been operating without us since June- for many things. These are always on my mind and I can get preoccupied while waiting for answers on other requests. The countless blessings I have received without asking are the stray gifts in the day, the gentle reminders that He cares about adding beauty in the skies, songs through birds outside my kitchen window, kindness through strangers, thoughtfulness of friends, sweet scents through flowers blooming, a lost item now found, and many more. And I want to keep counting.
I would like to encourage you that when you may be sitting in a doctor’s office with a loved one, keep counting. While you wait for healing for yourself, keep looking. While you listen for God’s direction for the next step, keep watching. The stray gifts are there ready to be noticed by those who want to see.
Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.
My anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it.
Hugh Prather
The topic of anxiety has been in my thoughts this October. I have been reading about how chronic anxiety is affecting our lives in unhealthy ways. Many are seeking sedatives to help them cope with stress. Many are experiencing emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical paralysis due to excessive anxiousness. A few signs of a nervous mindset:
Restlessness
Insomnia
Difficulty going to sleep and staying asleep
Difficulty concentrating
Muscle tension
Excessive worrying
Fatigue
Irritability
Easily startled
Overeating or Undereating
Chest pains
Sadly, I can put a ‘checkmark’ next to most of these in doing a ‘personal checkup’ on how I am doing in this area. It is quite disheartening!
Along with thoughts on anxiety, I was reminded of Philippians 4:6-7, “Be careful for nothing: but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.And the peace of God which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Anxiousness can be all about control and perfectionism. I worry that things won’t turn out ‘just right’ or how I imagined they should. I get concerned about what the future holds. Being too careful about issues holds stress in and blocks grace out. I am guided to let it go. But not just that. I am instructed to replace that anxiety, the negative energy, the unproductive worry with something productive. And right there is the key: anxiety is never productive when it breaks down mental and spiritual stability. I am given an active step to take. I am to transport from myself all the worry, all the stress, all the questions …every thing to God with a thankful heart. I want to ask, “Is that it? That is all there is to it?” It sounds too simple to just stop worrying and to start praying. I wonder if this is not about worrying versus praying, but more about where I place my trust – in myself or in the One who gave His life for me. Another way to look at “be careful for nothing” is “be distressed for no reason”. Through the action of making my requests known to God, I acknowledge my humanness and His sovereignty. In doing this thankfully, I recognize that I do not have to carry any burden and that He will bear it for me. Only then will I have the promised peace, the stability of heart and mind, which cuts through my human understanding.
Being thankful, contented with what I already have and in what God can do, comes through a willful shift of the mind and heart, the purposeful handing over the heavy cloak of control. I am not only given an active step to take in place of worrying. I am not only promised peace by letting go of control, but I am also given something else to think about in place of doubts and fears.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Philippians 4:8
My self-inflicted wounds caused by anxiety have never been found worthy of any good. Christ’s wounds, however, were for my benefit and for God’s glory. If I can trust Christ for salvation, for eternal security in Heaven, surely I can trust Him for earthly security on earth, for the day to day, for every little thing. Daily, I have a choice as to where I will put my trust. Daily, I can opt to live in a prison of anxiety – robbed of peace, sleep, and focus – or I can embrace the peace of God and trust that He knows my needs and cares and has a plan unfolding right now ready to be revealed in His timing.
The presence of anxiety is unavoidable, but the prison of anxiety is optional.
I am not interested in having an orchestra sound like itself. I want it to sound like the composer.
Leonard Bernstein, Composer from 1940-1990
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
Paul opens up the letter of Philippians by writing, “Grace be unto you, and peace; from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy…”(vs 2-4). I can’t imagine how I would feel if I opened up a letter that began with words like those. And to know that in every prayer of the letter’s sender, my name would be mentioned with joy. Paul goes on to say that he is confident of this: that God who began a good work will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. He is convinced that God is producing something good and that His purpose is underway for His people to go in a specific direction. Paul shares that the things which have happened to him in life have really just furthered the gospel and that because of this, more Christians are bold to speak about Christ and are not afraid.
So what does all that have to do with me and Grace Goals? God not only set in motion His plan for the believers at Philippi but also for every believer. “He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”… He has put in motion a direction and will carry through until a future time when Christ comes again; a continual motion, an ongoing process.
I am not a finished product. And when I get frustrated with myself for not learning life’s lessons the first time, when I doubt God’s involvement in even the smallest of details, I need to be reminded that I am still learning and will always be growing and metamorphosing while on this earth. News flash: I have not arrived. ((sigh))–so much more growing to do. And I think, “What is God doing? What does He want me to do?”
I believe He wants me to listen to the whole symphony. By themselves, each instrument used in my life to shape me into His image would not make much sense and may seem to have no meaning or significance in the grand scheme of things. The music of His composition can only be recognized as beautiful when I pay attention to the combination of life events- trials and blessings alike. God is orchestrating the composition of my life and whatever good work He is doing, His plan is for His glory to be magnified in my body-faults and scars included. He is not interested in my life’s symphony sounding like myself. He wants me to sound like Him- the Composer Himself.
Faith must be tested because it can be turned into a personal possession only through conflict…the final thing is confidence in Jesus. Believe steadfastly on Him and all you come up against will develop your faith…Faith is unutterable trust in God, trust which never dreams that He will not stand by us.
Oswald Chambers
We can face Monday and any other day in faith with confidence. When approached by two blind men crying for mercy, Jesus asked, “Believe ye that I am able to do this?” and they answered, “Yea, Lord.” He then touched their eyes and told them that they would be healed according to their faith (Matthew 9:28). Pretty strong stuff.
According to my faith, how much can God do in my life?
According to my confidence in His power to heal, to change, to move mountains, how much can He do?
When my husband was trying to communicate to his VA doctor that his hip pain was more than arthritis, that the severe degeneration in his hips was causing great pain and discomfort affecting his ability to move and work, we did not know how long it would take for something to be done. God’s time frame and our time frame are often in different time zones. All the frustration we felt melted when we saw God’s hand in it all – the timing, the surgeon, the hospital, and even the physical therapy. How much time did I spend fretting and worrying instead of choosing to be confident that God knew everything and that He had a plan for surgery, for an amazing surgeon, and for a very helpful in-home physical therapist? Fretting and worrying are never a wise use of my time or energy.
While my husband cannot work at present, we are dependent on his VA disability medical benefits. Due to a complete hip replacement, the benefits should temporarily increase. We worried whether or not the increase in means would come in. It did. Not when we expected it to, but it came through. God came through.
He only asks for ‘faith as a grain of mustard seed’ (Matt 17:20). That does not sound too complicated, right? And yet, most times, I fret and worry, and I feel anxious. Does God fret? Does He worry? Is He feeling anxious?
Isn’t He all-wise, all-knowing, all-present, all-powerful? He is everything good and right and holy in times when I trust, and even when I choose not to.
Faith is stretching out my hand in confidence: ”Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief”. (Mark 9:24)
When you find yourself facing an issue in your life, the purpose or reason or good thing that might come out of it being completely hidden from you–what do you do? Do you worry or fret, become preoccupied with the problem? Do you ignore it or avoid it? Do you complain about it, do you want to run away from it? Or do you see it as a situation in which you might be able to experience the power and grace of God at work? Do you watch for the work of God that is to be done in this situation?
from Patches of Godlight, by Jan Karon
In any situation, do I watch for the work of God or do I panic, doubt, and fear first? This month’s grace goals focus will be about faith and about being on the lookout for the power and grace of God. As for stray gifts, I thought I would wait to be surprised instead of having a specific theme.
Happy August and happy hunting for stray gifts in your life.
Family Update: My husband was operated on Monday, July 22, to have his right hip replaced. He was released from the hospital the next day. According to in-home care (the nurse, the physical therapy supervisor, and the physical therapist), John is doing really well. He is able to go up and down the stairs (with the aid of crutches) with no pain and moves around (carefully) well. After two weeks, he should be able to walk without the aid of his walker, feel less bruised from the surgery, and reduce pain medication. He will have in-home physical therapy five days a week for three weeks and a few weeks of therapy in another location afterwards, I believe. We are thankful for a successful surgery and are amazed by the difference in how he feels. He will still need the left hip replaced in time.
And now to the last in the series of entries on the topic: “Even Places”-
Third: A Step of Consciousness– Listen for the ‘Why’ to Clear the Chaos
A few years ago, when I came across the phrase in Psalm 26:12, “My foot standeth in an even place”, I had no idea how those seven words would be changing me over time. The last several blog posts have been about the journey to owning less stuff. My husband and I went through this a few years ago and I have been renewing purpose once again to evaluate items in our home. In this “Step of Consciousness”, part of seeking balance in life with stuff we owned was looking for why we had held on to excess clothing no longer worn, excess books we no longer read, excess stuff tucked away in boxes no longer needed or wanted, and excess emotions that weighed us down. We had kept these things through multiple cross-country moves over the years and knew if we ever moved again, carrying the excess baggage would be overwhelming. There are still more desk drawers to look through, clothing to be edited, and floor space to be cleared.
We had a few reasons for why we held on to things. On my part, I had saved clothes in hopes to wear my smaller-sized ones again. I had kept baby clothes in dreams to have another baby someday. I had hoarded items in boxes for sentimental reasons (even though I did not look in them often enough to be worth keeping). I had stored gifts given (that I did not need, but someone else could use) out of guilt. I had carried excess emotions and weight which held me back from growing strong physically and spiritually. While I have parted with quite a few boxes, books, and belongings in the last few years, I am ready to make strides in making more progress. These things take time (patience and wisdom, too)!
Seek peace and pursue it.
Psalm 34:14b
Part of Psalm 34:14 says, “Seek peace, and pursue it.” In finding balance in the last few years during major life changes and health challenges, this phrase had become a motto as well. Harmony with food/weight, finances, relationships, possessions is still on my mind and heart as I again go through this process of clearing space.
Answering the ‘why’ of holding onto not-needed/wanted items or emotions is a huge step in setting free possessions in life which are no longer of service. Whether the answer is guilt, emotional attachment or the task is too overwhelming to simplify, I had to face the issues head-on and let go to make any progress. I could not proceed forward to weight loss goals, to fewer distractions, and to simple living in the midst of disorder, confusion, and ‘mental fog’. As I look to streamline more, I seek to be reasonable in what our needs are in this phase of life.
It can seem a daunting task to clear out a closet, a room, a desk (a kitchen drawer, a garage, a shed, a dresser, a bookshelf…a.k.a. any avoided location) but once started, I find it usually does not take as much time as I thought it would. The key is to start. Sometimes I feel motivated to “cleanse” all at once. Other times, clearing or cleaning just three things immediately noticeable is about all I can do. Either method works!
I began the process a few years ago (and again recently) of finding peace by clearing excess e-mail subscriptions instead of trying to keep up with new recipes, exercises, and too many DIY projects. I stick to the meals my family knows and loves. I enjoy walking or rebounding for exercise and none of those crazy-energetic aerobic workouts. And I do NOT have the patience for DIY projects. I moved on to clearing just three things in a room at a time instead of stressing over trying to get it all done in one fell swoop during busy seasons.
Releasing ‘chaos’ by acknowledging what really matters helps me identify the beneficial in the present phase in life. Part of Hebrews 12:1 comes to mind about laying “aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” It takes physical effort (emotional and spiritual, too) to achieve the balance needed to move forward effectively. Excess stuff and emotions try patience, plague peace of mind, hinder productivity and limit the ability to make space for new and better things ahead.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the LORD.
Last week in A Step of Clarity- Find Your Even Place Part I, I shared a few thoughts on clearing space in the home and in my mind and heart. In my search for level ground amid the present challenging phase of life, instead of starting something new, I stopped doing a few things that were distracting from my work as a wife and mom. There seemed to be for me a lot of extra distractions from outside sources that were limiting me from living well and being all present. I stopped signing up for new and interesting e-mails and unsubscribed from ones which were no longer of interest or that I never read. The e-mail subscriptions, while good and potentially helpful, were piling up in my inbox and I was spending time on deleting them every week without ever reading any of them. I deactivated all social media accounts to clear my head and to focus on my own home. With my husband facing total hip replacement this month, I needed to eliminate distractions for more mental clarity.
This week, I am sharing “A Step of Consistency”. Look and Clear 3 has been my key thought process recently and it has been very beneficial in keeping the house running and in ‘presentable’ shape. Rather than being overwhelmed by a long to-do list, I look for three things needing to be done. When I am in the bathroom getting ready for the morning, instead of fretting over finding time to thoroughly clean, I pick three areas in need of attention – which varies from day to day. Clean off the counter, sweep, and throw away the trash. Another day I do three different tasks; wipe down the mirror, the sinks, and clean the toilet quickly. The same goes for other areas in the house. I wipe down, clean or tidy up, throw away, or shred three things and move on with the day. At first, it didn’t seem like much, but there is a noticeable difference by the end of the week. My tendency is to do all or nothing which can be very overwhelming. An all or nothing frame of mind hinders clarity and consistency in managing my day well.
In my continuing journey to own less, the “Look and Clear 3” mindset is helpful in this area of life as well. (For more on this, see my blog post: The Journey to Less Stuff.) The task of going through old boxes, drawers, and files can be mind-numbing. If I regularly take care of just three items, I still feel a sense of accomplishment in clearing space and getting organized. I want to manage what I have well, be intentional about what I own, and move forward wisely in the time I spend caring for things.
If you are feeling stressed by tasks left undone, try taking a quick look around in the space you are in throughout the day and consistently clear three things which are immediately noticeable. I am confident that within a week, you will notice a difference in the level of peace in your home and in your heart and mind.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Old high school and college photo albums were looked through one last time and while I have great memories, I realized I no longer needed to hold on to them. Photos and saved greeting cards were shredded or recycled.
Homeschool material I had kept was shredded or recycled and books were donated that my son did not want to keep. Because he had become a college student, I no longer needed to hold on to all that paper! (I had files of school work and shelves of books from over the years.)
My mother’s box of memories that was given to me was just that- her memories. I kept a few photos, my son wanted her 4-H notebook, but anything else in there had no special attachment since I was three years old when she passed away. I realized I was close to my mother’s side of the family and the memories they and my dad’s side of the family share of her meant more to me than her school yearbooks and scrapbooks. That box of her memories had been through seven states and one foreign country and stored in a corner of a closet or garage. It was time to do something with it.
Series of books I had loved but no longer read were given to a friend who I thought might enjoy them.
Note: It may seem harsh or unfeeling to ‘dispose’ of sentimental items such as photo albums, old notes from friends, things given to me, but I knew I had to say “enough” at some point -enough of storing things in drawers, files, or boxes left untouched for long periods of time. I wanted to manage what I had well, be intentional about what I owned, and move forward wisely in time spent caring for things.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Psalm 26:12
When I went through this process a few years ago, I had the theme in mind of finding an “even place” or a balanced perspective. It became increasingly difficult to ‘bless the Lord’ when I felt overwhelmed. There was so much I possessed that I did not need anymore. I felt indifferent to a lot of things I had been keeping for one reason or another. I had a difficult time, though, in knowing where to start. I lacked clarity of mind to make that first decision on what to empty, throw out, or donate first. What I started with back in 2016 was not in finding a place to start, but in figuring out what to stop. I wanted to articulate what was adding stress or more pressure. I needed space to breathe, to think, and to restore. And things that were taking up space which took my breath away due to frustration, I needed to clear.
I am at that place again, so I am revisiting what I had done a few years ago to make more headway in clearing space- whether physically (in a closet, on a shelf, etc.), emotionally, or mentally. And I do believe clearing space affects my spiritual life as well.
The first place to find some balance is with internet ‘stuff’ and this is how I am seeking clarity:
I am stopping all social media. I deactivated my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. There is a lot of negativity, over-sharing, information overload, scrolling and scrolling on my part, and distracting ‘mental noise’ for me right now. I told my husband the other day I felt my brain was ‘quieter’ since taking a step away. I felt I could be more mindful about my time. I could focus more on me and what I needed to be doing rather than what the masses were doing. I still keep in touch with those close to me through text or through Messenger.
I am stopping signing up for new recipes, health news, weight loss helps, gardening tips, etc. E-mails pile up and I never get around to reading all of them. If I need to look something up, Google is readily available.
While it is a meager start, it is a start nonetheless. It is where I began on the journey to find level ground a few years ago. When I stepped away from social media, I felt a nice quietness to my thoughts. When I started cleaning up the e-mails, I was able to see clearly the messages which needed a response.
There is more to come on clearing up space in my next entry: A Step of Consistency – Find Your Even Place Part II. For this week, though, I am stopping a few things that are distracting from my work as a wife and mom and seeking clarity of mind.
If you are seeking for clarity, maybe instead of looking to start something new, consider STOPPING something first–something that may be hindering your focus on what really matters in your life. Take a step back. Evaluate what is important. Clear some space. Breathe.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Psalm 26:12
A few years ago on my former blog, I wrote a series of posts about finding balance in life with stuff. We had just made a decision to simplify our work in ministry and my husband made a leap of faith to enroll in college courses to become a full time student. We felt overwhelmed. We felt at odds with ourselves, our finances, and our stuff that had built up over the years. He is now a college graduate, but due to the need to have both hips replaced, looking for work has been put on hold. We are thankful for his veteran benefits due to time served in the Navy. The blog post series entitled “Finding Your Even Place” was written in 2016. Three years later, we still have need for balance in some areas. Over the last few years, we have downsized quite a bit, but lately we have found that we could work on it a bit more. I am finding the more stuff we own, the more we have to manage it, find a place for it, clean it, etc.
In studying through the Psalms that year, I referred often to the phrase which became our new mantra; “My foot standeth in an even place” -Psalm 26:11.
An even place: balanced, steady, continuous, unwavering.
I did not know where to begin in finding an ‘even place’ or balance with issues that felt overwhelming. There had been so much going on in my mind of things I needed to clear out that were weighing me down, but I had too much that was weighing me down to do what needed doing. All that added stress. And who needs more stress??? And now with my husband facing two hip replacement surgeries and physical therapy, among other life challenges, I am definitely needing a steady frame of mind. Another Scripture verse which stood out to me is in Hebrews.
Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us…and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.
Hebrews 12:1
I still think of that verse often as, again, I am going through my closets, desk drawers, papers that need to be shred. Stuff (especially things I do not really need but I have due to various reasons) tends to be a distraction and takes away from a peaceful frame of mind.
While we have made great strides over the last three years in cleaning out items we no longer need, we could do another revision. For July, I am revisiting the old blog posts, renewing purpose to find more balance, and rewriting the posts with fresh perspective.
Simplicity and harmony are the ultimate conditions to be attained in all things.
H. Fletcher
Simplicity and harmony. A thousand times, yes. I mentioned in my post, Grace Goals for May, that we were having company, life was busy, my husband was about to graduate from college, and we were still waiting for him to see an orthopedic surgeon to discuss hip replacement surgery on both hips. Update: All three sets of company have come and gone and we enjoyed their visits. I am still getting our house back in order here and there. My husband John is now a college graduate. Hooray! He barely made it through the ceremony as it was lengthy, but he is glad he put the effort in to walk across the stage. He has talked with the surgeon who will operate and the date for that is near the end of July. John is still in a lot of pain and is having difficulty sleeping and being comfortable. The end of July seems so far away! My dad just received more steroid shots in L4 and L5 of his back due to degenerating disks that are painful. We have had a lot going on and I feel a bit overwhelmed.
For simplicity’s sake and for harmony in the days, I have completely gone away from Instagram and Pinterest. I am signing off of Facebook for awhile as well. Many times, I catch myself scrolling through posts and photos when maybe I should be resting my eyes instead or throwing in a load of laundry. My husband would add possibly baking cookies in the kitchen, haha. It’s a thought. I can’t decide weather to make oatmeal or peanut butter cookies. Either way, it’s on the ‘agenda’ for the weekend. I am trying to do what I can do simply every day to regain energy and keep up strength to help take care of things that need to be done around the house and for the family. John can just not sign in to Facebook for months at a time. I am an ‘all or nothing’ kind of person and, right now, social media has to be put on hold for awhile. I would like to write a bit more here and in keeping with simplicity and harmony theme, just keep it on the blog right now. It feels good to write something again and not ponder whether to post it in four other places on social media. Four less decisions to make, really, which then frees up time to go start dinner…or laundry…or cookies.
I am still looking for the stray gifts in the days and have some photos coming to share. I do like having a theme and the four photo topics I have chosen are: things found early, things that are tiny, things that are sunny, and things found in the shadows. It feels like a treasure hunt of sorts and it gets me outside looking to see what I can see.
I am observing ways to keep things simple and in harmony with family, health, and life and as always, keeping a record of graces.
