July’s blog theme has been about seeking what is necessary for this phase in life’s journey. I have written about letting go of items and emotions that no longer are of benefit in order to move forward effectively in life. To be mindful of the treasures I have and to manage them well has been a continuing work-in-progress.
We are but strangers and pilgrims on this earth and it would be wise to remember this in life. My journey is different than yours, but what we need for each journey is the same. Doubt? Fear? Despair? They have no place in the Christian’s heart. In letting go of excess effects and emotions, I am more able to carry steadfastly confidence, courage, and hope.
“We are not citizens of this world trying to make our way to heaven; we are citizens of heaven trying to make our way into this world. That radical Christian insight can be life-changing. We are not to live so as to earn God’s love, inherit heaven, and purchase our salvation. All those are given to us as gifts; gifts bought by Jesus on the cross and handed over to us. We are to live as God’s redeemed, as heirs of heaven, and as citizens of another land; the Kingdom of God…We live as those who are on a journey home; a home we know will have the lights on and the door open and our Father waiting for us when we arrive. That means in all adversity, our worship of God is joyful, our life is hopeful, our future is secure. There is nothing we can lose on earth that can rob us of the treasures God has given us and will give us.”
Borrowed from Patches of Godlight by Jan Karon
July’s Stray Gifts: Red, White, Blue, The Number Four
The two photos of red flowers are of our crepe myrtle tree and of oleanders. This crepe myrtle has been stepped on quite a few times by our dog running over it to catch a ball and by us when we were planting our Lady Banks rose bush nearby. I thought for sure we had killed it by now, but it’s still alive. I saw the oleanders on UTEP’s campus one day when I took Jonathan to class. Gorgeous! White and blue morning glories are gracing our yard now in various places. And there are four bunches of yellow bells on the bush. We planted them last year and they have come back in full force.
Family Update: My husband was operated on Monday, July 22, to have his right hip replaced. He was released from the hospital the next day. According to in-home care (the nurse, the physical therapy supervisor, and the physical therapist), John is doing really well. He is able to go up and down the stairs (with the aid of crutches) with no pain and moves around (carefully) well. After two weeks, he should be able to walk without the aid of his walker, feel less bruised from the surgery, and reduce pain medication. He will have in-home physical therapy five days a week for three weeks and a few weeks of therapy in another location afterwards, I believe. We are thankful for a successful surgery and are amazed by the difference in how he feels. He will still need the left hip replaced in time.
And now to the last in the series of entries on the topic: “Even Places”-
Third: A Step of Consciousness– Listen for the ‘Why’ to Clear the Chaos
A few years ago, when I came across the phrase in Psalm 26:12, “My foot standeth in an even place”, I had no idea how those seven words would be changing me over time. The last several blog posts have been about the journey to owning less stuff. My husband and I went through this a few years ago and I have been renewing purpose once again to evaluate items in our home. In this “Step of Consciousness”, part of seeking balance in life with stuff we owned was looking for why we had held on to excess clothing no longer worn, excess books we no longer read, excess stuff tucked away in boxes no longer needed or wanted, and excess emotions that weighed us down. We had kept these things through multiple cross-country moves over the years and knew if we ever moved again, carrying the excess baggage would be overwhelming. There are still more desk drawers to look through, clothing to be edited, and floor space to be cleared.
We had a few reasons for why we held on to things. On my part, I had saved clothes in hopes to wear my smaller-sized ones again. I had kept baby clothes in dreams to have another baby someday. I had hoarded items in boxes for sentimental reasons (even though I did not look in them often enough to be worth keeping). I had stored gifts given (that I did not need, but someone else could use) out of guilt. I had carried excess emotions and weight which held me back from growing strong physically and spiritually. While I have parted with quite a few boxes, books, and belongings in the last few years, I am ready to make strides in making more progress. These things take time (patience and wisdom, too)!
Seek peace and pursue it.
Psalm 34:14b
Part of Psalm 34:14 says, “Seek peace, and pursue it.” In finding balance in the last few years during major life changes and health challenges, this phrase had become a motto as well. Harmony with food/weight, finances, relationships, possessions is still on my mind and heart as I again go through this process of clearing space.
Answering the ‘why’ of holding onto not-needed/wanted items or emotions is a huge step in setting free possessions in life which are no longer of service. Whether the answer is guilt, emotional attachment or the task is too overwhelming to simplify, I had to face the issues head-on and let go to make any progress. I could not proceed forward to weight loss goals, to fewer distractions, and to simple living in the midst of disorder, confusion, and ‘mental fog’. As I look to streamline more, I seek to be reasonable in what our needs are in this phase of life.
It can seem a daunting task to clear out a closet, a room, a desk (a kitchen drawer, a garage, a shed, a dresser, a bookshelf…a.k.a. any avoided location) but once started, I find it usually does not take as much time as I thought it would. The key is to start. Sometimes I feel motivated to “cleanse” all at once. Other times, clearing or cleaning just three things immediately noticeable is about all I can do. Either method works!
I began the process a few years ago (and again recently) of finding peace by clearing excess e-mail subscriptions instead of trying to keep up with new recipes, exercises, and too many DIY projects. I stick to the meals my family knows and loves. I enjoy walking or rebounding for exercise and none of those crazy-energetic aerobic workouts. And I do NOT have the patience for DIY projects. I moved on to clearing just three things in a room at a time instead of stressing over trying to get it all done in one fell swoop during busy seasons.
Releasing ‘chaos’ by acknowledging what really matters helps me identify the beneficial in the present phase in life. Part of Hebrews 12:1 comes to mind about laying “aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” It takes physical effort (emotional and spiritual, too) to achieve the balance needed to move forward effectively. Excess stuff and emotions try patience, plague peace of mind, hinder productivity and limit the ability to make space for new and better things ahead.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the LORD.
Last week in A Step of Clarity- Find Your Even Place Part I, I shared a few thoughts on clearing space in the home and in my mind and heart. In my search for level ground amid the present challenging phase of life, instead of starting something new, I stopped doing a few things that were distracting from my work as a wife and mom. There seemed to be for me a lot of extra distractions from outside sources that were limiting me from living well and being all present. I stopped signing up for new and interesting e-mails and unsubscribed from ones which were no longer of interest or that I never read. The e-mail subscriptions, while good and potentially helpful, were piling up in my inbox and I was spending time on deleting them every week without ever reading any of them. I deactivated all social media accounts to clear my head and to focus on my own home. With my husband facing total hip replacement this month, I needed to eliminate distractions for more mental clarity.
This week, I am sharing “A Step of Consistency”. Look and Clear 3 has been my key thought process recently and it has been very beneficial in keeping the house running and in ‘presentable’ shape. Rather than being overwhelmed by a long to-do list, I look for three things needing to be done. When I am in the bathroom getting ready for the morning, instead of fretting over finding time to thoroughly clean, I pick three areas in need of attention – which varies from day to day. Clean off the counter, sweep, and throw away the trash. Another day I do three different tasks; wipe down the mirror, the sinks, and clean the toilet quickly. The same goes for other areas in the house. I wipe down, clean or tidy up, throw away, or shred three things and move on with the day. At first, it didn’t seem like much, but there is a noticeable difference by the end of the week. My tendency is to do all or nothing which can be very overwhelming. An all or nothing frame of mind hinders clarity and consistency in managing my day well.
In my continuing journey to own less, the “Look and Clear 3” mindset is helpful in this area of life as well. (For more on this, see my blog post: The Journey to Less Stuff.) The task of going through old boxes, drawers, and files can be mind-numbing. If I regularly take care of just three items, I still feel a sense of accomplishment in clearing space and getting organized. I want to manage what I have well, be intentional about what I own, and move forward wisely in the time I spend caring for things.
If you are feeling stressed by tasks left undone, try taking a quick look around in the space you are in throughout the day and consistently clear three things which are immediately noticeable. I am confident that within a week, you will notice a difference in the level of peace in your home and in your heart and mind.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Old high school and college photo albums were looked through one last time and while I have great memories, I realized I no longer needed to hold on to them. Photos and saved greeting cards were shredded or recycled.
Homeschool material I had kept was shredded or recycled and books were donated that my son did not want to keep. Because he had become a college student, I no longer needed to hold on to all that paper! (I had files of school work and shelves of books from over the years.)
My mother’s box of memories that was given to me was just that- her memories. I kept a few photos, my son wanted her 4-H notebook, but anything else in there had no special attachment since I was three years old when she passed away. I realized I was close to my mother’s side of the family and the memories they and my dad’s side of the family share of her meant more to me than her school yearbooks and scrapbooks. That box of her memories had been through seven states and one foreign country and stored in a corner of a closet or garage. It was time to do something with it.
Series of books I had loved but no longer read were given to a friend who I thought might enjoy them.
Note: It may seem harsh or unfeeling to ‘dispose’ of sentimental items such as photo albums, old notes from friends, things given to me, but I knew I had to say “enough” at some point -enough of storing things in drawers, files, or boxes left untouched for long periods of time. I wanted to manage what I had well, be intentional about what I owned, and move forward wisely in time spent caring for things.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Psalm 26:12
When I went through this process a few years ago, I had the theme in mind of finding an “even place” or a balanced perspective. It became increasingly difficult to ‘bless the Lord’ when I felt overwhelmed. There was so much I possessed that I did not need anymore. I felt indifferent to a lot of things I had been keeping for one reason or another. I had a difficult time, though, in knowing where to start. I lacked clarity of mind to make that first decision on what to empty, throw out, or donate first. What I started with back in 2016 was not in finding a place to start, but in figuring out what to stop. I wanted to articulate what was adding stress or more pressure. I needed space to breathe, to think, and to restore. And things that were taking up space which took my breath away due to frustration, I needed to clear.
I am at that place again, so I am revisiting what I had done a few years ago to make more headway in clearing space- whether physically (in a closet, on a shelf, etc.), emotionally, or mentally. And I do believe clearing space affects my spiritual life as well.
The first place to find some balance is with internet ‘stuff’ and this is how I am seeking clarity:
I am stopping all social media. I deactivated my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. There is a lot of negativity, over-sharing, information overload, scrolling and scrolling on my part, and distracting ‘mental noise’ for me right now. I told my husband the other day I felt my brain was ‘quieter’ since taking a step away. I felt I could be more mindful about my time. I could focus more on me and what I needed to be doing rather than what the masses were doing. I still keep in touch with those close to me through text or through Messenger.
I am stopping signing up for new recipes, health news, weight loss helps, gardening tips, etc. E-mails pile up and I never get around to reading all of them. If I need to look something up, Google is readily available.
While it is a meager start, it is a start nonetheless. It is where I began on the journey to find level ground a few years ago. When I stepped away from social media, I felt a nice quietness to my thoughts. When I started cleaning up the e-mails, I was able to see clearly the messages which needed a response.
There is more to come on clearing up space in my next entry: A Step of Consistency – Find Your Even Place Part II. For this week, though, I am stopping a few things that are distracting from my work as a wife and mom and seeking clarity of mind.
If you are seeking for clarity, maybe instead of looking to start something new, consider STOPPING something first–something that may be hindering your focus on what really matters in your life. Take a step back. Evaluate what is important. Clear some space. Breathe.
My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the Lord.
Psalm 26:12
A few years ago on my former blog, I wrote a series of posts about finding balance in life with stuff. We had just made a decision to simplify our work in ministry and my husband made a leap of faith to enroll in college courses to become a full time student. We felt overwhelmed. We felt at odds with ourselves, our finances, and our stuff that had built up over the years. He is now a college graduate, but due to the need to have both hips replaced, looking for work has been put on hold. We are thankful for his veteran benefits due to time served in the Navy. The blog post series entitled “Finding Your Even Place” was written in 2016. Three years later, we still have need for balance in some areas. Over the last few years, we have downsized quite a bit, but lately we have found that we could work on it a bit more. I am finding the more stuff we own, the more we have to manage it, find a place for it, clean it, etc.
In studying through the Psalms that year, I referred often to the phrase which became our new mantra; “My foot standeth in an even place” -Psalm 26:11.
An even place: balanced, steady, continuous, unwavering.
I did not know where to begin in finding an ‘even place’ or balance with issues that felt overwhelming. There had been so much going on in my mind of things I needed to clear out that were weighing me down, but I had too much that was weighing me down to do what needed doing. All that added stress. And who needs more stress??? And now with my husband facing two hip replacement surgeries and physical therapy, among other life challenges, I am definitely needing a steady frame of mind. Another Scripture verse which stood out to me is in Hebrews.
Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us…and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.
Hebrews 12:1
I still think of that verse often as, again, I am going through my closets, desk drawers, papers that need to be shred. Stuff (especially things I do not really need but I have due to various reasons) tends to be a distraction and takes away from a peaceful frame of mind.
While we have made great strides over the last three years in cleaning out items we no longer need, we could do another revision. For July, I am revisiting the old blog posts, renewing purpose to find more balance, and rewriting the posts with fresh perspective.
Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them.
Elisabeth Elliot
In my last blog entry, The Journey to Less Stuff, I shared about working to live with less. I have been reading a lot of blog posts and articles about simple living and about living satisfied with simple pleasures. Sometimes a lack of contentment in God’s provisions stems from a lack of confidence. I tend to compare my ‘stuff’, status in life, and self to others. What holds me back from fully trusting is not what I have, but what I think I don’t have. I believe, though, that when I am a good steward with what I am graced with and I live well with His graces, contentment follows. And when “Thy will be done” becomes the heart’s desire, it is then that my mind is stable and satisfied with God in the lead.
I may not understand where God has me right now. I may not know why God created me a certain way. But when I take my eyes off Him and look on the lives of others or to self for answers, I lack wisdom.
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.”
James 1:5-7
God gives wisdom generously and without scolding when I ask for it in full faith. But when I go back and forth between trusting and uncertainty, He knows that I am like a sea’s wave moved by winds of doubt. And God does not reward a double minded mindset.
Faith in God still has questions. Lots of them. But stability and satisfaction comes from looking to the right Source for the answers and being wise enough to know that God has His own timing in everything to reveal a matter- even if it means something to know only when I get to Heaven. True faith is confident to take those questions to the throne of Grace and leave them there.
People overestimate the pleasure they’ll get from having more stuff. This does not apply to new rose bushes, crayons, or yarn stashes.
Dr. SunWolf
In every place John and I have lived in, we have always had a closet, a bedroom, a shed, a garage dedicated to boxes of stuff. I had photos albums from high school, family photos, things that had belonged to my mother, memories from college, clothes I had hoped to fit in to again someday, and etc. John had his boxes of memories, too…and etc. Since we have been married, we have lived in seven states and one foreign country. And with those moves, we carried those boxes of stuff. I do not remember what officially sparked being fed up with having so much, but I do know I was tired of having to find places for it. I do know that if we ever move, I do not want to take all that stuff with me again. I do know that in the desert area where I live, dust falls on everything. And I do mean, e v e r y t h i n g. If I don’t wear a shirt for awhile that has been hanging in the closet, a layer of dust will be on the shoulders of the shirt and it has to be washed before I can wear it. Or if I hadn’t shampooed our bedroom carpet in the seven years we have lived here (just for a possible example), a layer of sand and dust will be found on baseboards hidden behind dressers…which have their own layer of dust because it is annoying to move things off dressers to thoroughly dust.
Everything we own is something we have to think about- how to store it, how to clean it, or how to use it and when left too long, the task to organize becomes overwhelming. I had saved old college papers I had written, my husband had his school papers he had saved. We had books, old letters, photos, and little bits and pieces such as keys, and coins, and dead batteries. Some of that was found in a bucket we had used to clean out the truck a long while ago; we just moved the itemsto another location and cluttered up another space. In the last few years, we have been convicted over being better stewards over our possessions and have been figuring out how to live with just what we need. Anything we own, we want it to have a purpose and we want to manage it and our time well. Time spent cleaning, sorting, organizing years of stuff is not the way we want to spend our days.
I loved the quote at the top of the page because we have, indeed, overestimated the pleasure of having stuff and the journey to possessing less stuff is a lot of work because it affects every area of life from clothing, to books, to papers, to memorabilia, to appliances, to furniture. I also loved the top statement because it implies that you can never have enough pleasure from roses. While I may not get too much pleasure from crayons or stashes of yarn, I do love my roses and wouldn’t mind a few more in the yard. Everyone in the family enjoys them and they add a different, simple sort of pleasure to our summer.
Speaking of roses, here are June’s #straygifts (photo of a rose included) with the themes of finding something: early, tiny, sunny, and in the shadows.
Morning Glories are starting to show up in various places in the yard. The time to see them in bloom is early morning.
Red roses are thriving in a sunny spot. There are more on the bush, but I loved this one in particular because of the sun rays.
I have no idea what these tiny flowers are. I believe these flowers came from the birdseeds the birds like to scatter from their feeder.
In the shadows, a sunflower is growing – from the same birdseed package as the flower growing in photo number three.
Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find. -William Wordsworth, 1806
“Seasonal Joys” has been the topic of study for April on Facebook and on the blog here and today’s post fits right in with finding joy in every season. It is a post about the journey of letting the white hairs on my head grow out. It isn’t my typical sort of thing I write about and I have been debating about sharing this journey. This topic is relevant to this month’s theme because as I learn to embrace this season of life I am in, I find joy in the simplicity of this ‘process’. It requires no money. It requires no extra time or effort. It does require patience and the steel will to LEAVE IT ALONE. And maybe some purple shampoo to tone down the chemicals I have had in my hair for ages. I am tempted often to run back to Celeste who cuts and colors my hair. When I talked to her about this in January, she was very encouraging. She said the NUMBER ONE thing that stops people from going through with it, is the judgement from other “well-meaning” people. I am thankful for support from my family! My son is fascinated with the progress and has been photo documenting my journey.
I have no idea exactly how long I have been coloring my hair. According to photos of my younger self, my hair seemed to be a mix of blonde and brown which then turned into a really nice auburn color. I think I was twelve years old in the photo on the right -before I started getting perms in the 80’s and 90’s.
Once in high school, I sprayed a product in my hair that was supposed to add blonde highlights. My hair turned orange! I colored my hair darker a few times in college. On the left is a photo of my grandpa and me taken during a summer in between semesters. On the right, is me after college graduation teaching in a small Christian school. And my hair was black. By this time, I was learning to not get distracted while waiting for the timer to go off and for the color to set. If I leave color on too long, this is what happens. (Like the time I put (what I thought was) reddish hair color in and it turned dark purple/maroon. True story.)
April 2014
…Also what happens when a professional gets distracted and leaves color on too long- it turns black. And there is nothing you can do about it but let it grow out and keep cutting it. Nothing. I specifically asked the hairstylist NOT to leave hair color on for even the recommended amount of time as my hair takes quickly to coloring. I cried. I found a new hairstylist. Enter the aforementioned Celeste who is a good listener.
I need to back up a few years to 2003 when another natural change in my hair happened. Sixteen years ago to this day, I gave birth to my second son who was stillborn. In the year after, my hair started to change from straight to curly. I had no idea what to do with it! I continued using hot rollers (because my teenage years were in the era of ‘big hair’ and that’s all I knew) or straightening. Around 2010, I was fed up with trying to change and manipulate my hair to do things it didn’t want to do. So I began reading about taking care of curly hair, watching YouTube videos, and asking my hairstylist lots of questions.
And now I am nearing more present day. I do not even know what caused me to be done with coloring, highlighting, and the whole covering up of the white hair. It could be that I was needing more coloring more often. I used to be able to get away with it twice a year. It could be that life became more busy, my husband more ill, and hair coloring was put on hold for awhile. The last time I had my hair colored was in July 2018 (top left photo below). In the process of making steps to make life simpler on us in various ways, I decided it was time to simplify and let my hair do what it was going to do. I was always going to be fighting it anyway, and I didn’t need one more thing to stress over. My son so poetically calls the white hairs “silver ribbons.” How can I argue with that?? I recently had three inches cut off my hair to get rid of some of the color (bottom right photo).
Whatever season of life I am in, I can find joy even through great changes. And while this process makes me a bit self-conscious, I know that once the ‘silver ribbons’ are all grown out, I will be glad I did it. I have aunts and friends who have all white hair and I think they look gorgeous. My husband has a Military Student Appreciation Reception next week and college graduation May 19 and I have had a few moments of “maybe I should spruce my hair up and color it” for these occasions. But I know by the end of the year when most of this has grown out, when there will be more white than a mix of white and whatever-I-have-done-to-my-hair-in-the-past, I will be relieved to see more silver ribbons in my hair. I am making the personal decision to allow the real Professional, “who has the very hairs of {my} head all numbered” (Matthew 10:30) add His own highlights – silver ribbons.
God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you”?
William Ward
It is quite challenging to have a theme each month – for study, for photo opportunities/stray gifts – and it’s only February! I have followed other challenges in the past, but felt God was leading me to create my own based on where He was guiding my studies and blog writing. For this month’s stray gifts theme, the words which came to mind were: admirable, kind, lovely, and sweet. For anyone who may be reading the term ‘stray gifts’ in my writing for the first time, it is based on a quote by William Wadsworth who wrote, “Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find”. I have been taking notes, snapping photos, and writing about noticing these ‘stray gifts’, but with the take on that God has His hand in everything. These gifts really are not strays, but handfuls of purpose in my path that He put there to bring my attention to Him. Here is what I have so far for February: (photos first this time, explanations below)
#1) “Lovely” – From our kitchen window this week, we watched this bird (I think a finch) eating away at the feeder. He had beautiful red and brown feathers.
#2) “Admirable” – Jonathan (my son) is a junior at UTEP and it is his first semester attending. In between classes or while waiting for my husband to be done with work, he has been walking all over campus to see what’s what. The theater, science buildings, the basketball stadium that was used in the 60’s. Track and field, football stadium, Geology building, Fine Arts building where he found himself beneath the stage…I say “admirable” because he was curious about something and went to explore. He could have looked at photos online and it would have been much easier. But he has been walking all around the campus lately because he was interested. He walked in cowboy boots, by the way. Because ..well…we’re in Texas. That’s what we do.
#3) “Sweet” – TWO lovely cards last week. What a fun surprise! The handmade card and envelope from my 11 yr old niece. I love it! The other card from a long time friend which made it all the more special.
#4) “Lovely” – Don Juan climbing red rose bush with baby leaves. I read that climbing roses need not be pruned right away, to wait until after the first bloom. I only planted this last year so I am looking forward to seeing how they do this year. #straygifts in lovely red roses wanting to wake up already.
#5) “Sweet” – My husband brought home these cookies for me knowing I love a chocolate and mint combination. Coincidentally, I was drinking mint tea that day because I was in the mood for it. (He didn’t know that.)
#6) “Kind” – My husband isn’t really known for being a “kid person”, yet somehow he has managed to have a collection of buddies in our church in Mexico. We are not sure when this game started of him getting their shoes and putting them just out of reach, but they are highly entertained by it. They pretty much hand him a shoe for him to toss. Sometimes, my tall son comes to the rescue with a ladder to get shoes off the roof. Stray gifts in surprising entertainment, kind adults who play with kids, and sweet play, too.
“Follow your heart”, the world advises. “If it feels good, do it.” Yet in the Bible, God guides us to trust HIS heart and HIS path because our hearts lead us astray all too easily. The heart is deceitful, wicked, swayed and distracted. But there is H O P E. There is a Redeemer who longs to cleanse, heal, renew, and guide.
Over on Facebook this month, I have been posting Scripture verses pertaining to my February “Grace Goals”. Along with these verses, I have been sharing prayers and thoughts. Here are last week’s reflections:
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Within me, Lord, let no seed of resentment take root and grow.
Within me, I want to know joy, wisdom, and grace.
Within me, deep down, I know that strength of heart comes from not comparing my life to others or in jumping to conclusions. It comes from trusting You and Your plan for my life and the way I should go.
Within me, plant a will to forgive and the ability to extend mercy for I have received above and beyond what I deserve from You.
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I want to see You, Lord, in the every day.
Shadows fall, I turn to disbelief instead of the Divine.
Keep my heart pure from doubting that You are good. Keep me safe from the shouting of the world and from those against You, so that I may notice Your hand working in ways I may not see and hear Your still small voice.
In order to truly see You, free my heart from distrust, from complaining, from comparing and dissatisfaction. You have given me more than I deserve and more than I will ever need. When my heart and thoughts are focused in the right direction, I will see all that You have given me and all that You are.
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My flesh and my heart ignores, neglects, deserts, disappoints, and forgets.
But…However…Nevertheless…Still
God is my courage, my stability, my anchor, my might.
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Wait on the Lord…continue, persevere, endure, persist, remain
