Considering the Caregiver

This month’s Prayer Plan focus has been for the caregiver. Several of my friends and family are caring for their unwell spouse, their child who has life-long health struggles, and/or their aging parents. There are always adjustments to the day, doctor’s appointments scheduled, and the need for keeping a balance in caring for themselves while nurturing those in need. In my last blog post, Praying for the Caregiver, I shared five areas to pray for concerning someone in this situation. Prayer is good and needful, and I believe we could take one step further to be an encouragement. Here are a few hands-on ways to show your care for them:

  • Purchase a gift certificate. There are many directions to take with this suggestion. It could be for a restaurant for a nice meal out. If the caregiver loves crafting/sewing, how about a gift certificate for the local craft store? If they are a gardener, a gift card for the local gardening center. For the reader, a book store. And last, but not least, Amazon – where they can purchase just about anything!
  • Prepare a meal. Soups are always in season in the winter. A rotisserie chicken is a good idea with some sides. Put together a deli tray of meats, cheeses, crackers, cheese spreads, fruit for something different. A baked potato meal, maybe, with toppings (meat, cheese, sour cream) and a nice side salad. Many possibilities. Ask ahead of time for any dietary restrictions. Or call out for pizza or other meal you know the family would enjoy and take it over.
  • Spend some time. Make a lunch date or set time aside to visit in some way or other, whether in the house or outside. Or if the caregiver on your heart right now lives long-distance, call them and let them know you are thinking about them.
  • Make a personalized gift basket. Consider their interests: baking, gardening, reading, relaxation bath salts, coffee or teas. A fruit basket, perhaps.
  • Give flowers. A lovely flower arrangement in the house always brightens up the space.
  • Write and send a nice note. A handwritten connection is always a blessing.

Of course, this list can be utilized to bless anyone! Throughout January’s
#gracegoals2019, I am praying for the caregiver, I am asking the Lord to bless those who care for others. In considering other caregivers, I am asking the Lord to help me put hands and feet to my prayers to do something and be a blessing to others.

Other January “Grace Goals” Blog Entries:

Praying for the Caregiver

PART TWO of January’s #gracegoals2019 encouragement is to pray for caregivers. Being a caregiver myself for my dad, a Vietnam Veteran, others who care for their aging parents are on my heart often.

The verse which comes to mind for this goal is Philippians 2:4, “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others”. As I was contemplating this, one word spoke to me; the word, also. If we are to look ALSO on the needs of others, wouldn’t that mean to care for ourselves AND for others? Does that make sense? Something I have been considering. If a caregiver feels run down, senses depression, or suffers physically, emotionally, or spiritually, of what benefit can they be to anyone else? We cannot take care of others if we neglect our own needs. This not only pertains to caretakers of parents, but for those in any ministry of caring- parents raising children, parents raising special needs children, a husband or wife caring for an ill spouse, a pastor and his wife, a janitor, a teacher. I would imagine we all know someone who could use some prayer support!

I researched quite a few web links on the topic of caregivers caring for themselves, and most of them share these tips:

  • Eat healthy
  • Take time to rest during the day
  • Exercise to keep your body strong, even if only for 10 minutes a day
  • Get plenty of sleep
  • Do things you enjoy (read, create, listen to music, garden…)
  • Ask for help when needed
  • Seek support (whether through reading material on the topic, by talking to someone (spouse, family, friend, pastor, counselor) who can be an encourager, and by seeking God’s guidance even for the smallest of decisions.

If you are a caregiver, I understand it is hard work. Sometimes we become so focused on the needs of others and the needs of the home, we forget to take care of ourselves in the process. To find a balance can be a challenge. I know there are days when what you have planned gets put aside. I am familiar with days filled with doctor appointments and waiting at the pharmacy for medication. I identify with days when all that is needed is companionship and quietness when your loved-one is resting or struggling with pain. For these reasons and more, I pray for you today.

If you are praying for a caretaker:

  • Pray that they will make wise choices in caring for their nourishment.
  • Pray for physical, emotional, and spiritual strength.
  • Pray they will be able to sleep well, feeling rejuvenated for the next day.
  • Pray for opportunities to rest and/or to do things they enjoy.
  • Pray they will ask for help when needed and not try to do it all on their own.

Lord, bless those who care for others. I pray for compassion because compassion makes a world of difference. There are always adjustments to the day and I pray change and re-shifting be accepted with grace. May we be flexible, be moved by another’s needs, and be willing to be a blessing. And may we live for You in every decision, in every action, and in every thought of the heart. Amen.

Other January “Grace Goals” Blog Entries:

Grace Goals for January

Just A Note

“Just a Note”

A few days ago, I shared encouragements for this month in a blog post entitled, Grace Goals for January. I have four goals in mind. Two focus on a relationship with others (giving) and two focus on a relationship with God (one asking something from God, the other giving thanks to Him by noticing #straygifts in the day).

  • Ministry Goal: Write and send at least one letter or card to someone to encourage
  • Prayer Plan: Pray for a caregiver. Caregivers have many definitions (mothers, nurses, pastors, teachers, those who care for a spouse or a child who is ill, those who are caring for a parent)…I would imagine you have someone in mind that could use some encouragement and prayer.
  • Grace Goal: Compliment someone and make their day
  • “Stray Gifts” Suggestions: Look for things brand new, heartfelt, inspirational, and white

The first part of the goal is to write a note to someone. A personal touch goes a long way. Writing a note does not necessarily mean sending a card out in the mail, it could be a note written to someone in your own home. I make my husband’s lunch for him to take to work. A few months ago, I started writing notes to put on his lunch container – a small sticky note with words of love, a silly quote, a fun memory, or an encouraging message. He is a quiet sort of guy and had not said anything about it until one day, there wasn’t one. I was thinking that maybe my ‘little note’ was not noticed or appreciated. Later, he mentioned that he missed it and had been looking forward to seeing what I had thought to write that day. It wasn’t just a note, it made his day. Such a small thing, we think, but you never know what it might mean to another person! I try not to miss a day now, even if I only draw a heart or a smiley face.

Small opportunities surround us every day. Whether you write a note and mail it, or you write it to someone in your own home and place it with a lunch, on a pillow, or around a place you know it will be found, I encourage you to surprise someone. When a person does not comment, say, “Thank you”, or seem to notice, it causes me to wonder if I should even do it. In those cases, I can only pray that God is using me and that for that particular person on that particular day, it is not just a note.



Grace Goals for January

I have had this idea rolling around in my head for quite awhile now, and I think it’s time to let it out of my brain and see how it goes. A “mood board” of sorts to set the tone for the month, a theme for #straygifts, a specific prayer plan/topic along with helpful blog posts, a corresponding Scripture verse to implement, and a possible ‘ministry goal’. It seems like a lot, I know, which is why I created a collage guide to explain.

TOP LEFT CORNER is a photo of cardmaking supplies, a ministry of sorts for me. I like to send cards and to hopefully be an encouragement to someone. I especially like to include a note about family happenings, flowers which may be blooming, the weather, ministry updates – more than just my signature at the bottom of a card. I strive to make each card personal. This month’s card theme will be winter-related for me. Is there someone who would love a handwritten note? Would you consider sending a card to at least one person this month?

TOP RIGHT CORNER is a prayer plan suggestion to pray for caretakers in January with a corresponding Scripture verse for meditation. Being a “caretaker” myself for a parent who needs care from time to time, I am more aware of friends and family who are doing the same. It is a big ministry for anyone in a caretaker position. When the idea originally came to me, I was thinking of caretakers for aging parents. While doing research for what caretakers do, I came across so many more descriptions for the word. A caretaker could be a stay-at-home-mom, a working mom juggling home and an outside job, a janitor at work, the waitress who always remembers what you order to drink, those who clean your church. All job descriptions which thrive with a humble spirit. There are so many! I would imagine, though, someone came to mind when you read this and maybe this month, you could pray for them and offer an encouraging word through a written note or by spoken word.

BOTTOM LEFT is a “Grace Goals” section. I have a beautiful poem I share on an upcoming blog post that inspired this. Theme: Compliment someone this month – or many people!- you never know how much a person might have needed it that day. Spread some light!

BOTTOM RIGHT are “Stray Gifts” suggestions to look out for throughout January.

Of course, I would love your participation – to build a community where we pray for each other, share stray gifts we see in the day, share ministry ideas for friends and family. I realize a lot of people read posts and do not comment or acknowledge that they read entries on Facebook or here on the blog. I do hope you follow along – whether by likes, shares, and comments, or quietly in your own way. Either way, thank you for stopping by A Record of Graces. I believe together, we can make a difference. #gracegoals2019

I hope your first week of 2019 is going well!

Bright Hope for Tomorrow

What can I say on the last day of 2018? How would I describe the year in one word or phrase? Looking back on my Facebook posts and my blog entries, I would say the phrase that comes up the most is, “stray gifts” based on the quote, “Pleasure is spread through the earth in stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find” by William Wordsworth. I was tempted many times to think it silly to post such things about blooming flowers, intricately designed spider webs, a note from my seven year old niece, and any thing big or small that stopped me in my tracks. But I have been surprised over and over by others who have written me notes telling me they, too, are looking. A lost-then-found key, a song bird, country views from a front porch, December roses blooming outside a friend’s kitchen window- all claiming God’s hand in the day-to-day, giving wings to the mindset of looking for the good in a day.

I have learned that each day has all kinds of stray gifts which I believe are placed there in my path. They are handfuls of purpose. They are reminders that He has not forgotten me in times of trouble, that He delights in my noticing Him in the details, and that every day, His mercies are new.

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow -Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside

Going into the new year, I find myself thinking of the song, “Great Is Thy Faithfulness” and the line, “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.” Strength to reflect on the past year with grace and hope for tomorrow in the new year that there will be more ‘stray gifts’ for me to find. Once I started noticing one stray gift, as the days went by, it became easier to notice more. Then I began to wake up wondering what new thing I might see in the day. Each new gift received with a thankful heart gives strength, I believe- strength to trust God that I am on His mind, strength to move past things in life which have weighed me down. And always, the Lord offers bright hope for tomorrow reminding me that trials are seasonal and looking for His hand in the day makes life more bearable when life seems on shaky ground. Keeping hope alive is calming. When doubts and fears assail, without hope, we falter. With hope, comes new promise, like a seedling stretching up toward the sun.

Lord, teach me to trust in Your strength just for today, for this moment in time, for this situation, for this trial. I realize just because a new year starts tomorrow, that doesn’t mean everything ‘resets’ to ‘factory settings’. We will still have ongoing health issues, financial hurdles, and spiritual warfare, yet Your strength is perfect for today and Your bright hope is all I ask and all I need. Amen.

A Different Set of Circumstances

Fixed on Faith #10: The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.

I have been writing Fixed on Faith posts for quite a while now based on the Bible verses, Proverbs 4:25-26, “Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.” It is so easy to become distracted with technology at our fingertips. Discontentment reigns as we are able to view how other people live, seemingly more successful and happy than we are. Keyword: seemingly. No matter where I am, I live. How I live is another story. I have lived in many places and I wonder how many of those years I used wishing to be somewhere else. In a bigger house. In a better neighborhood. In a different church. In another climate. One can wish away a life without even realizing it. No matter my circumstances, how I live is important.  When I choose to live by faith because I am loved, I am redeemed, and I am safe, it changes how I see. “If Satan can keep my eyes from the Word, my eyesight is too poor to read light-to fill with light…Without God’s Word as a lens, the world warps” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts). Satan whispers the words, “failure”, “cheated”, and “worthless” into our ears and all too often, our hearts ache with a feeling of emptiness.

“The secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is” (Ann Voskamp). The secret to living joy-full is not in the circumstances, the location, the state of health or wealth, it is in Christ’s filling us up of Himself.

Galatians 2:20 –“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

The life I live in the flesh can only be lived with contentment through faith in the Son of God. The flesh is weak and can be easily misguided into wishing for someone else’s life, location, church, or family. Sometimes a move away from something or someone is necessary. When we choose to use God’s Word as a lens, when we seek Christ to guide us, we will know whether He is leading us away from a valley of circumstances or through it.

I’m Learning

On the weekends, I try to make enough breakfast on Saturday to be Sunday morning breakfast as well. I double the recipe for waffles so that Sunday morning, all we need to do is cook sausage links and reheat the waffles. Last Saturday, I was on a time crunch because my dad and I had wanted to go to WalMart before the crazy traffic started. I asked my 22-year-old son to help finish making the waffles so I could shower and get dressed before breakfast. He was willing to help but had never manned a waffle iron before. I showed him about how much batter to put in the machine and told him to watch the light. I instructed that when the light clicked off, the waffle should be done. “Easy enough”, I thought, and left it to his available hands. After I showered, I called down to him from upstairs to check how he was doing. “I’m learning”, he replied. When I was dressed and ready, I walked in the kitchen to a mess on the kitchen counter. Batter was spilled as he had put too much batter in the waffle iron several times. Not only was it over the sides of the waffle iron, but also on the counter. However, he had successfully cooked all of the batter for waffles and had started working on cleaning up everything.

There was no complaining. He did not stress that he was making a mess. He simply stated that he was learning.

To Learn:  to gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught; commit to memory; become aware of (something) by information or from observation

Learning is acquiring, studying, experiencing, memorizing, observing. It is a process. And the process is messy at times. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. I began to think about just life in general and what my response is to different situations that come my way. If you have taught children, you know we have to let go to let them learn.  Let them make a mess and figure things out under our watchful eyes. While we may show patience to children, it is difficult to be patient with ourselves. But God our Heavenly Father is ever watchful, ever patient, never leaving us to fend for ourselves. He gives us instructions in the Bible on how to live. He knows that making mistakes and learning we can trust Him is necessary. It is vital in learning to love, to forgive, to show grace to ourselves and to others. For the times we just cannot seem to ‘get it right’, “I’m learning” is a great point of view.

I am learning to show myself grace when I am tired and let the to-do list alone.

I am learning to accept help.

I am learning that perfectionism stifles.

I am learning that it is OK that our path in life has had many bends in the road and our journey does not look like anyone else’s.

I am learning that through grief, through disappointments, I will be OK as long as I take one breath at a time and trust God to get me through ‘this moment’.

I am learning my gifts, my strong attributes, my weaknesses, and it is a journey. I could scold myself thinking I should know all this already at my age. I have a choice between stressing over ‘not getting it right’ or making progress by acknowledging that as long as there is life, there is more to learn.

It is the end of the year and the new year will be here before we know it. Let’s not choose stress and guilt to be our anthem in 2019. Let’s pick up where we left off, clean up what needs to be cleaned up, and count the experiences in 2018 as a lesson learned.  Let’s choose life.

Life is learning. And learning is life.

From Days Wrapped In Silence

In 1864, after the severe wounding of his son during the Civil War and a few years after the loss of his wife who died in an accidental fire in which he suffered burns trying to save her, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow penned the poem, “Christmas Bells”. What we know now as the song, “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” as a Christmas carol, is missing a few verses from Longfellow’s original poem.  What once was just a nice pretty carol for me, has now so much more meaning and appreciation. “I can make no record of these days. Better leave them wrapped in silence. Perhaps someday God will give me peace”, he wrote in his journal a year after his wife died.  From grief filled days wrapped in silence, to writing, ‘God is not dead, nor doth He sleep’, Longfellow put his heart into this and I encourage you to read the historical background on this carol. (The Story Behind “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day)

Christmas Bells

“I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,   
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!”

From grief filled days wrapped in silence to a place of peace takes time. Maybe bells of peace and good will are not tolling in your life right now, but comfort will come in our God who is not dead and who neither slumbers nor sleeps.

Psalm 121:1-5, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.  Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.”

Carrying Joy

Sometimes I feel a note or a kind word is just not enough. I feel helpless and inadequate many times in offering support and I tend to believe that my ‘little note’ or what-have- you is not enough. But the ‘little things’ are not so little, really. What may seem small to me, may be the big thing that breathes peace and which helps someone live another day less burdened. To ease an aching heart, to carry a burden for a dear one, to offer kind words, to sow seeds of comfort–All these are carrying joy.  A note, a phone call, a simple “Hello”, a prayer in Jesus’ name- beautiful ways to let someone know you care.

“The Little Things in Life” -Author Unknown

“If you have eased some aching heart today,

Or helped to carry burdens not your own, 

If you have spoken kindly by the way,

Or in some darkened household comfort sown,

You need not say, “This day has been in vain”;

But wait for earth’s tomorrow with a smile,

For you may carry joy where there is pain:

The little things in life are those worth while.”

Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad. -Proverbs 12:25

A Prayer for Missionaries

2 Thessalonians 3: 1-2 , “Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may have free course, and be glorified, even as it is with you: And that we may be delivered from unreasonable and wicked men: for all men have not faith.”

I have received several phone calls lately from family who are concerned for our safety here on the Juárez, Mexico/El Paso, Texas border. We feel the tension here in El Paso over the news concerning the immigrants who are coming our way. Already, we have seen the border patrol ‘environment’ more alert and dressed ready to take action if need be. We have seen people lined up at the border waiting for asylum and piling up at the border wall. We have had conversations with our church people over what to do if we cannot cross anymore, even temporarily. We feel no alarm when we cross the border as of yet and once we get up in the mountain where our church is, all is as it has always been. That may change, however, if tensions keep rising. We are watchful.

I have been posting lately a few prayers I had found in the back of a hymn book and I saw this one recently and thought it a fitting time to share it.

A Prayer for Missionaries 

O God, bless all those who have gone out to bring the message of the Gospel to other lands.

I remember before You

-Those who have to endure hardship and discomfort;

-Those who have to face peril and danger;

-Those who have had to leave their families and their children behind while they went out to other lands;

-Those who have had to struggle with a new language and with new ways of thought;

-Those whose health has broken down under that strain, and who have had to come home, not knowing whether they will ever be fit for their task again;

-Those who have to face constant discouragement in a situation in which no progress ever seems to be made.

Especially bless those who work in countries where new nations are being born, and where there is strife and trouble and bitterness in the birth-pangs of the new age.

Bless those who preach in the villages and the towns and the cities; those who teach in the schools and the colleges; those who work in the hospitals and among the sick; those who have laid their gifts of craftsmanship or administration at the altar of missionary service.

Help us at home never to forget them and always to pray for them. And help us to give generously of our money to their work so that it may go where we ourselves cannot go.

And bring quickly the day when the knowledge of You will cover the earth as the waters cover the sea: through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.

(Found in the back of the hymnal: Praise! Our Songs and Hymns)