Category: Christian Living

The Greater Work

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Prayer does not fit us for the greater work; prayer is the greater work.

Oswald Chambers

Sometimes I don’t know how to pray. Illness, loss, divorce, conflicts, and trials abound. I receive prayer requests from others often and having multiple petitions layered upon others, my heart becomes heavy for family and friends. As an empath, I have found that being off social media is best for me. I keep my world relatively small so that it’s easier to focus on those who are close to me. When prayer requests pile up, I feel like I am playing the game of “hot potato” with God. When I receive the request, I think of Romans 8:26-27, and immediately hand it over to God.

Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

Romans 8:26-27

How do I pray anyway? A few of my friends are dealing with heavy family issues. What do I ask for? How do I form words when the heart hurts, the soul aches, and the mind is numb? The prayer that never fails comes to mind; “Thy will be done” (Matthew 6:10). Even if it hurts? Even if it means I don’t get my way? Even if someone still suffers, dies, walks away, gives up, or takes years to come back to God? My thoughts are not His thoughts. His timing is not mine. I have found some direction on what to pray for from the book of Philippians when I start to feel overwhelmed.

Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy,

Philippians 1:2-4

GRACE to you (dignity, balance, thanksgiving)–for every mile, for every trial. I ask for new grace to face a new day even when there are no answers – at least not at present. I pray for dignity to accept mistakes and to receive forgiveness, for balance through a diagnosis or other issues with thanksgiving that God’s hand can still keep, protect, and guide.

and PEACE (one accord with God, tranquility, the quietness of spirit)— I long for stillness – not rushing to find answers or even understanding. I urge for reassurance that God alone can fix, bend, and mend people and problems.

MAKING REQUEST WITH JOY – calling out with joy because I go to the One Who has the answers!

No matter the situation, prayer is the greater work. Whether the prayer is short or long, a breath or ongoing throughout the day, God hears. When my soul seeks for a voice, sometimes the only words needed to cover it all from the One Who sees it all are Grace and Peace.

Worn with Thanks

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Those blessings are sweetest that are won with prayer and worn with thanks.

Thomas Goodwin

Something thought-provoking: I saw an illustration on social media which said, “Instead of focusing so much on a To Do List, I’m starting a To Be List.” The other day, John was sitting at my desk looking at the sticky notes of reminders I had neatly placed on the right side and my calendar of events on the left. He seemed a bit numb when he explained he was looking at my brain. If I don’t write things down, I may forget! I am a doer. I enjoy making lists and find great satisfaction when I cross off completed tasks (using a red pen) from a well-thought-out list. I feel accomplished. Having things to do is inevitable as it’s a part of life. Did it matter more at the end of the day, though, that I was busy or that I had been kind? Or calm? Or thankful? No matter the daily dues, did I wear today’s blessings well?

Something unexpected: Our church’s interim pastor and wife were away a few weeks ago for their anniversary. Instead of seeking someone from elsewhere to fill the pulpit, John was asked to preach. He hasn’t preached since 2019. If you’ve followed along here (and you know us personally), you know he has been ill for quite a few years. It has only been close to two years now that he has been upright, able to drive, walk without a cane, and feel progress in his journey to better health. He was concerned that he could stand for the length of his message. He did well and received positive feedback. He has a desire to teach again someday and this was a great confidence booster!

Something enjoyable: In our younger days when John was in the Navy (in Washington), we used to have friends over all the time for dinner and games. Sometimes our friends would stay past midnight! When we lived in Kansas, we had friends we’d play games with until three in the morning. John taught a young families Sunday School class then and they would be at our house often for a fellowship meal. The kids would play in the yard while we adults visited and enjoyed getting together. (These nights were much shorter!) We loved those days and have missed having them be a part of our lives. Since joining our new church here in New Mexico, we have desired to invite others for dinner. It has been years since we have been in a place in our life where that was possible. There are a few people who we connected with quickly and time before and after church isn’t enough for deeper communication. Last week, we had a new friend over for dinner and enjoyed it very much. It seems people don’t do that too much these days anymore. Our next guests have been invited and we have a day planned. (Yes, it’s written on my aforementioned calendar.) It is refreshing to feel connected to that part of us again. We enjoy so much the memories of good fellowship and we look forward to making new ones with our new circle of friends.

Where Peace Dwells

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Restlessness and impatience change nothing except our peace and joy. Peace does not dwell in outward things, but in the heart prepared to wait trustfully and quietly on Him who has all things safely in His hands.

Elisabeth Elliot

Something encouraging this week: I was glad to have come across the introductory quote and to have read the reminder that restlessness and impatience serve no purpose. That type of mindset drains energy, sleep, peace, and joy. Peace is not found in outward sources. It doesn’t come from other people, social media, food, or distraction, but from a trusting and quiet heart. Psalm 36:7, “How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.”

Something surprising: Every week, we try to arrive early for Sunday School to have time to fellowship with others and catch up on the week. Some converse quite actively and there are a few elderly women who are a bit introverted and quiet. Yesterday, I noticed one had a bottle of Tea Tree oil she was sharing with another lady. “Oh, you are into essential oils, too?”, I asked. We talked about natural remedies and the complications modern medicine can sometimes have on a body. Her face lit up as she shared her point of view. I was shocked. I hardly ever hear her speak. She sits quietly during the lessons, smiles and nods during various conversations, but that’s about it. We shared what oils John uses to help relieve migraines, and what oils we use to help relieve cold and flu symptoms. It was a fun conversation and I was so happy to see Alejandra open up. We talked about castor oil, too. My dad tells some interesting stories from childhood about having to take castor oil. It seems to have been a “cure-all” back in the day. There are a few women in our church in their 80s and I know there are many experiences they have to share if you only ask. John, Jonathan, and I talked about the conversation on the way home in amazement and wondered what else would spark a great conversation with her again.

Something making a difference: Last week, I wrote about John having a new VA doctor who wanted to change a few medicines. The new prescriptions have arrived. After only a few days of taking them, his blood sugar level has decreased by half. Wow!! His last fasting bloodwork showed that he was near needing insulin if something didn’t change. Thank you, Lord, for the progress and for a doctor who is finally actively working to help.

Something that made me cry: I had made extra Easter cards and sent a few to friends who send out cards regularly. I always hope the cards I make will be a blessing. Sometimes, I hear back from a recipient of a handmade card – that it arrived when they needed encouragement the most that particular week. I do not find that to be a coincidence! Recently, I received a text from a friend to whom I had sent five Easter cards. She shared with me who she sent the cards to and why. Two were for caregivers who are helping her care for her 100-year-old mom (one of them being her sister). One card went to a relative who is a faithful encourager. Another was sent to a long-time friend who is having chemo and radiation for esophageal cancer. The last card was sent to another long-time friend of hers who was soon to have open heart surgery. “Your ministry in cards went to many places”, she wrote. I was deeply moved by her sharing that with me!! To God be the glory.

The Blesser Himself

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Instead of a river, God often gives us a brook, which may be running today and dried up tomorrow. Why? To teach us not to rest in our blessings, but in the blesser Himself.

Arthur W. Pink

Something I look forward to this week: The weather was cool and windy last Sunday – a good day to stay in bed while cozied up under warm blankets, yet I was still looking forward to going to church. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time. It’s been a difficult journey from being full-time missionaries to barely making it to church due to ongoing health issues. John can move more this year than he has in quite a few years and we knew we needed to get back into a fellowship. We recently joined a good church and from our first visits, we felt there was room for us. No one made us feel like outsiders- and even as new members now, we feel like we belong. I love how seamless it was for us to feel a part of this church family. Each week, as we renew the habit of attending a church service, I am happy to get up and be ready- no matter the weather.

Something to pray about: (and maybe you’ll pray, too?) My friend Jonna’s mother passed away last week and the funeral was this weekend. Her mother has been in a care facility for years and Jonna was very involved in her care with paperwork and communication with the doctors and nurses. I imagine there may be more settling to do in days to come. She has a sister who has Parkinson’s and is in the hospital with double pneumonia. Jonna also cares for all things related to caregiving with her. I have never heard her complain even though I know she has had huge responsibilities on her shoulders.

I am also praying for my friend Traci and her family. Their son was killed in a car wreck last October. He was twenty-two years old.

Heavy stuff, I know, which is why these families are on my heart and mind.

Something to feel grateful for: The potential to have a new VA doctor for John was part of the reason we moved from Texas to New Mexico. The doctor he had in El Paso was not a good fit for him, yet as a veteran with no other means of care, he felt stuck. We met with the new doctor yesterday at the Las Cruces, NM VA and immediately felt she was interested in John’s health. She carefully looked through his medical records and after a lengthy conversation, she changed three medications and gave us hope that we hadn’t had before. New bloodwork is scheduled for six weeks, and we can see if the medication and a diet change are helping. This is a huge blessing!

I am thankful the Blesser Himself cares about every one of our needs!

I. Peter 5: 7, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

Keep Your Heart and Mind

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Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

I research many subjects on the internet concerning healthy eating and lifestyle, curly hair helps, cardmaking tutorials, and more! I see quite often, “Five things you are doing wrong eating on the keto diet”, “Ten ways you are damaging your curly hair”, and “Never say this in a handwritten card”. I see, “You’re doing it all wrong” videos on YouTube all the time – sometimes it is as simple as cooking an egg wrong! No wonder many people are riddled with anxiety! Hearts and minds are confused because there are so many varying opinions about everything and everyone is an expert. Too many voices have filled my head nearly paralyzing me in being able to decide anything. Finding peace in what I eat, how I live, how I style my hair (or whether I let my white hair growth continue without intervention), and what tools I use to create handmade cards has been a journey. The older I get, the less I care what everyone else is doing or what is trending and the more I want peace within. I pray for understanding, wisdom, and a settled heart and mind because I tend to wander from one way to another. “In every thing…let your requests be made known to God”. In everything? Yes, every thing.

Here is the latest in my growing collection of stray gifts: (comments under the collage)

Top Row (left to right): My first flowers in our home in New Mexico were beautiful and had a lovely, soft scent. I don’t need fancy flower vases- a green mason jar will do! My dad is managing my daylilies in El Paso because we haven’t brought them over yet. These were all in one flower pot earlier this year and Jonathan and I split them into three. They were much smaller then but were crowded. Since we divided the lilies, they have been able to stretch out and seem to like the new space so far. The last photo is of my yellow Lady Banks rose bush that is blooming! These are tiny roses and are so cute! Thank you, Dad, for taking photos of them for me!

Bottom Row (left to right): Since I started collecting stray gifts, I have had friends and family who have caught the excitement of looking for God’s gifts in the day. I am sent photos through text messages often. A friend in the Dallas, Texas area sent me the first photo taken at the arboretum. The tulips are stunning! The middle photo is from a friend in Pennsylvania. This farm is over one hundred years old and her grandmother (who is one hundred years old!) still lives there. I love views like these and this particular friend sends me farm photos often. The last photo was taken by me last week. That day, we were out shopping and John was able to find a new pair of shoes. Because he has scars from three ankle surgeries, he has had trouble finding footwear that doesn’t rub against the tender places. Trying on shoes is an ordeal, but he had the energy and the want-to that day. I’m glad we stuck to the task and found a pair after going to three stores. While we were out, we stopped by the local botanical garden. It’s not very big and there weren’t many plants blooming yet, but it is a nice area to walk around. The Bradford Pear Trees were blossoming quite nicely, though. We hope to return in a few weeks as more plants should be blooming. The rain we had recently should help those along!

Other Gifts: A friend in Georgia sent me a photo of daffodils in her front yard. The same friend remembered my wedding anniversary and sent John and me a pretty card! It meant a lot. A friend in NM is a quilter and had lost a “setting triangle” for a Christmas tree skirt she is making. She had scooted her work table over a bit and found it on the floor. It saved her a lot of time looking for that piece in piles of fabric.

Thank you to all who keep the stray gifts movement going! I just love when you share with me what was in your path along the way.

All Your Circumstances

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All your circumstances are in the hand of God, so never think this strange concerning the circumstances you are in.

Oswald Chambers

September 2023

It all happened so fast. One day Jonathan was looking for work and the next was entering into the Master’s Degree program at New Mexico State University. For months he looked for work here in the city and prayed that the opportunity to attend West Texas A&M University in Canyon, Texas would become available. He waited to hear any news about a scholarship to help finance his continued education, but nothing seemed to be there. After prayer and consideration, he let the school in Canyon know that he would not be attending in the fall. He had faith that God still had a way open to him with either work or school. Less than twenty-four hours later, he received an e-mail from a History professor at NMSU. The professor noticed that Jonathan had applied for the spring semester and wondered if Jonathan would be interested in attending in the fall. This was the beginning of August and classes started on the 16th! Jonathan said he would be interested but would need funding, a scholarship, or work to help pay for classes. He received a reply to contact someone at the campus museum because they were looking for a graduate assistant. He e-mailed the contact, answered a few questions, shared his skills and future goals, and the next day was told he got the job! The graduate assistant job is a paid position plus his tuition is being paid for as well.

We hurried to get things he would need for his room (as much as we knew at the time) and moved him up there. He enjoys his museum work (20 hours a week) and the classes are going well. He is super tired (there is a TON of reading and a few papers a week due) and is still trying to figure out his daily schedule. John and I have been up there several times to take him out to lunch and to help get things he finds he needs. It was a whirlwind of activity once he was “in” for the semester. We drove up there the Saturday before classes started either looking for a dorm room or an apartment for him to live in. He applied for an on-campus room and got one that same day. It’s an apartment designed for four students. There are two rooms on either side of the apartment with a bathroom on each side, a living room in the center (sort of -very sparse), and a kitchen to share. It’s a small room, the building is old and in need of repair, but we agree it’s a roof over his head for now and it’s on campus with buses that are easy to get on to take him across campus to get near to work and to classes. He does have our truck to drive when he needs to go to Walmart or somewhere if he needs something. Or if he misses the bus! He is starting to get into the new rhythm of days now and John and I can rest a little more as things are getting figured out (financing and meals, to name a few).

November 2023

A lot has happened since I started updating you on Jonathan’s next life steps. We were all excited about the opportunity back in September, but “things” haven’t worked out the way we thought they would. First, the school backed out of the contract they made with Jonathan concerning payment for tuition. (The tuition payment and museum work payment were separate. The museum has paid him no matter what the school was doing on their end.) Second, we all caught COVID at the same time and Jonathan lost nearly a month of classes and work due to being so ill. At present, he is behind on classwork because he was absent for so long. He is finding it difficult to catch up and may not even be able to complete all the assignments by the end of the semester. This would affect any scholarship he could potentially receive next semester. Third, the dorm situation became a huge hassle when he found flying ants under his desk one day. It took several work orders for the maintenance crew to come to look at the situation and a few days afterward before the ants disappeared. He also had water leaks several times due to faulty pipes in the wall that was shared with the bathroom on the other side. Maintenance looked at it once and said they fixed the problem (without ever opening up the wall to see where the water was coming from). It took several minor leaks to an all-out flood in which water covered his whole floor and then spilled out into the hallway and kitchen. The night this happened, John and I quickly threw stuff in a suitcase and traveled to help. It took me over an hour to mop the mess in his room while John and Jonathan emptied the room of his possessions. We stayed a few nights in a motel while Jonathan worked to get another place to stay on campus. We found out later that the overflow drain pipe from the bathtub was not connected, so every time his suitemate took a bath, Jonathan’s room had water pouring from the base of the wall. The new room is dry, thankfully, but now he has a fellow occupant who smokes something other than cigarettes making it difficult for Jonathan to study – let alone breathe in his room.

On the bright side, he has absolutely LOVED his work at the museum and has easily moved through the tasks he was given to manage. He had genealogical research done in the first week that his superiors thought would take months. He had good managers who believed in him and who gave him opportunities to teach others and to lead different projects. Despite missing out on nearly a month of work due to illness, he is practically finished with all the research and documentation that he was hired to do for the semester. The opportunity to work with the museum gave him a great deal of new-found confidence and it was a great experience that will help him in the coming years.

So what does this mean for the future? We have discussed this at length with Jonathan and we agree that nine hours of classes a week plus work was just too much and the hours are a requirement for a Master’s student. He is very meticulous and careful about his assignments which caused too much stress for the amount of reading and written papers that needed to be completed each week. We do not feel this semester was a waste of time, though. The experiences he has been through have been valuable lessons concerning how to handle the unpredictability of life. Just because life doesn’t go as smoothly as we think it will, it doesn’t mean that God didn’t place us in that position to learn something. At present, we are unsure if he will be taking classes again as a Master’s student, yet we don’t feel any discouragement about it at all. We know God will use this time for his glory and Jonathan will be led in the way he should go.

In the life of a saint, there is no such thing as chance. God, by his providence, brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, and the only thing you know is that the Spirit of God understands. Never take your circumstances into your own hand and say, “I’m going to be my own providence here. I must watch this and guard that.” All your circumstances are in the hand of God; never think this strange concerning the circumstances you are in. God is bringing you into certain places and among certain people for a reason: so that the Holy Spirit inside you can intercede along a particular line.
-Oswald Chambers

The Real Danger

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The real danger is not in facing the enemy; it’s in failing to trust in the Lord.

Note written in my Bible margin

This year has been a rough one. It started with John having ankle surgery, which was an ordeal in itself, but the surgery site then became grossly infected. After that, he felt as if the screw that was put in his ankle was sticking out from the bottom of his foot. At each follow-up doctor appointment, the x-rays showed differently, yet John still felt there was a knot there making it uncomfortable to walk. During one appointment, the doctor finally looked at the bottom of the foot instead of trusting the x-ray. There was a wart there! Another appointment was scheduled to remove it. In the meantime, we had heard from a friend and had seen on the internet that duct tape will remove the wart. This remedy is called “duct tape occlusion” in which duct tape is placed on the wart to cover it. The tape is to be replaced every three to five days and should, in time, remove the wart layer by layer. John tried this in the weeks before the removal appointment. When he went in to have the wart removed, there was barely anything to remove! John mentioned to the doctor that he had used duct tape on the bottom of the foot and that it had possibly helped dry it up. John said the look on the doctor’s face was priceless. We’re guessing this method wasn’t anywhere in the medical books and he wasn’t amused. We were, though. Haha. The wart is 90% better and the ankle is still healing.

The Alpha-stim apparatus is helping with an overall feeling of well-being, but it hasn’t helped with his chronic migraines. John tried Aimovig for six months and after that, he tried Ajovy injections which were done at home once a month for six months with no real improvement. Yesterday, he had an appointment with his neurologist to receive botox injections (or “snake poison”, John says). Research has shown it to be effective in relieving migraines for some patients. The doctor gave him a shot in the arm of Toradol to help with the migraine he had yesterday and then proceeded with thirty-one injections around his shoulders and neck, in his skull, and in his forehead. He feels a bit numb today but was told that this is normal. He will receive another set of injections in twelve weeks. He may not see any improvement for a few months or even after a few treatments, but he is willing to try. He has been battling migraines for at least thirty years. Surely, there is something out there to help.

Recently, John and Jonathan were in a car accident. Jonathan was driving and had stopped at a stop sign. The men looked both ways and saw no one coming, so Jonathan pulled forward. From the right, a woman driving a small car (who had the right away) slammed into the front right side of the car, smashing the headlight and denting the door a little. There was a line of cars parked to the right on the side of the road making it impossible to see the car coming. No one was hurt, thankfully. We can still drive the car, but we are careful to not drive too much. Repair work is scheduled for the end of December.

My blood pressure is still a bit too high even with increased medication, but I am still feeling better and have more energy than I did at the beginning of the year.

After the year we’ve had, we feel like we’ve been facing the enemy – discouragement. It really has been one thing or another which has tested the belief that “all things work together for good” (Romans 8:28). I know we are not the only ones who have had a rough year. I have close friends and family who have had major life changes this year due to health issues, the loss of a family member, financial struggles, and other concerns. The real danger though isn’t Satan who tells us God does not care and is not interested in our trials. The Bible tells us that Christians are not exempt from adversity in Matthew 5:45 – “he [God] maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust”. Forgetting that God has not forsaken us and failing to trust Him to carry us through life is the real danger.

I will close with a few more words and include my stray gifts and in another post. The title of this blog entry is entitled, “The Real Danger”. When I opened my Bible last week to listen to a sermon on Psalm 11, I saw my handwritten note from some time ago which said, “The real danger is not in facing the enemy; it’s in failing to trust in the Lord.” It hit me hard and is something I’ve been thinking about all week. And while the sermon was in Psalm 11, underlined verses from Psalm 9 caught my eye on the left page of my Bible. We have felt discouraged. We have struggled with health issues, finances, and trials. But deep down, we know the truth that God does not forsake His own and I am thankful for the reminders in various ways to keep seeking Him in times of trouble.

“The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.” Psalm 9:9-10

The Struggle Is Real

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Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength:

Isaiah 26:3-4

Have you ever heard the expression, “The struggle is real.”? We have been feeling it lately with the many ups and downs concerning John’s health. Discouragement knocks on the door as we seek balance in all things. John had an appointment with his rheumatologist this week who prescribed a pain medication that may help with the fibromyalgia. I don’t know what it feels like to be in constant pain, not knowing the right answer as to what will bring a sense of well-being. There may not be one single answer. Watching him struggle with illness and even depression as the days go by is difficult. This week, he is scheduled to receive shots in his back to relieve pressure in his lower back and legs. Migraine medicine is hit and miss as he tries different treatments. It has helped to understand what is happening in doing research on Gulf War Syndrome. While he never served in the Gulf War, his ship which supplied ammunition, oil, and explosives was in the Gulf around those times. Many of the veterans who were on the same vessel as he was are experiencing the same disabilities. Focusing solely on health has brought some peace because he isn’t trying to go back to Radiology school or do too many things at once. We are taking one doctor’s appointment at a time and praying for wisdom.

I saw a church sign a few weeks ago that said, “The struggle is real…but so is God”. Sometimes a statement comes in a still small voice. Other times it pierces through the heart like an arrow. What a timely reminder! Thank you, Lord. I needed that.

While seeking answers, we are still looking for stray gifts in life – bits of God’s presence throughout the day. We have had several really good rainy days here – and in the desert, they are a few and far between. We lost power for just a little bit, too, one night. It was fun to light candles and just sit and talk without watching television.

Top Row (left) Passionflower! We planted this vine last year and never saw one flower. We had caterpillars on the vine, which, at the time, we thought was exciting because we knew butterflies were coming. The butterflies were exciting to see, yes, but the caterpillars ate every bloom. This year, we watched carefully so that the flowers would blossom. We have a whole vine of them now blooming in different stages. (middle) A McAlister’s Deli recently opened near us. We used to hunt for this restaurant during our deputation days because we knew we could find a good sandwich or soup and of course, sweet tea. (right) Mums are still one of my favorite outdoor plants as they need little maintenance.

Bottom Row (left) I saw this art piece displayed in a doctor’s office while with my dad a few weeks ago. It is made from colored glass tile and is stunning. This piece is a depiction of a popular bit of scenery here in El Paso. If interested, you can read about the star on the mountain’s significance here. (right) Our daylilies are back in full force right now – especially after the rain. I may need to repot them next year!

Thank you to those who share your own stray gifts with me through text messages! I love the ripple effect this has had! I am thinking about sharing some of them here on the blog as I think others would love to see them as well.

For Peace of Mind

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For peace of mind, resign as General Manager of the universe.

Unknown

It is easy to think what I would do in any given situation. I read the news, I see personal posts on social media, I hear issues being discussed and I can process how I believe a situation should be handled. I make assumptions based on snippets of information shared on the internet when I don’t know all the facts. Information is everywhere at all times. And there are social media platforms where anyone can share their opinions any minute of the day. The news, the opinions, the thoughts of the masses are a lot to manage. I believe all that is available doesn’t have to be read. It can be detrimental to mental health and even spiritual growth having to manage a weight that wasn’t meant for me to bear. Being informed is one thing. Obsessing and worrying over situations I cannot control is another. I find myself having emotional reactions to news – anger, frustration, disbelief. There is even joyful news – news which bring relief and hope. But how much peace do I give up at home because I feel the weight of world events?


“For peace of mind, resign as General Manager of the universe”. When I came across that quote, it was a reminder I needed to see. It helps me take a step back when I feel overwhelmed by information and opinions.

For peace of mind, I resign from feeling the need to be “in the know”.

For peace of mind, I resign from forming opinions based on bits and pieces of news.

For peace of mind, I resign from the fierceness of emotions that take a physical and spiritual toll on me.

For peace of mind, I resign to the knowledge and understanding that He is fulfilling His will on the earth and all that is in it.

Thine, O Lord is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all.

I. Chronicles 29:11

The Door Marked “Pull”

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Push will get a person almost anywhere – except through a door marked Pull.

Author Unknown

When I fail to let God be God, when I disregard the belief that He is in control and that He has a plan, I push through the door of discontentment. Living in the city, there is a lot of pushing – people pushing through the stores and through traffic – always in a state of hurry. It is difficult to not feel bullied or pushed along with everyone else. Interestingly enough, those who push through traffic and are doing all the hurrying- they don’t get very far. I usually see them in the same traffic jam up ahead or waiting with me at the same stop light.

When I try to push through God’s way of waiting on Him, I push away the blessings He has in store. When I am asked to choose the door marked “pull”, I am given the opportunity to open the door toward me to enter into a place of peace. God never promises a life with no pain and no hardship. They are a part of life because our bodies are not perfect and they tend to fail – some faster than others. God offers sufficient grace because His strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Through this challenging time with John’s health issues, I have to ask myself if I am pushing against God with an impatient spirit. Do I pray in exasperation trying to persuade Him to hurry up and heal, to provide solutions, and to get us back to some sort of ‘normal’ life?

“I am learning that when we say yes to God and let go of the need for certainty, that doesn’t mean he’ll grant our every wish or provide rescue with instant security. God cares more about our transformation into his image than immediate relief. His plans are good and often broader than we imagine.”
-Shelly Miller, Rhythms of Rest

“God cares more about our transformation into his image than immediate relief”. That gets to me. I hear that. I need to remember that.

What we pour into our soul today may seem inconsequential, yet it will provide a stabilizing anchor for the future.

Shelly MIller, Rhythms of Rest

What I pour into my soul today – rest, assurance, trust – results in stability of heart and mind no matter what His plans are for the future.