Author: Rebecca Gilbreath

The Only Way Out

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The only way out of Egypt was through God’s leadership. The only way out of the flood was through it by obedience. The only way out of the den of lions was to believe on God to change a king’s heart. The only way out of the belly of the fish was through repentance. Countless examples in the Bible are recorded of hardships. And the only way out of them was through. And the ultimate example: The only way out of death on the cross for salvation of sins was through it.

I Corinthians 15:57-58–“But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.”

The believers of old? Their labor of trust, obedience, sacrifice, and faith was not in vain because their victory was through God and Him only. And because God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, He still honors trust. He still blesses obedience and sacrifice. And He always proves our faith in Him is worth every mile. That doesn’t mean things are going to turn out the way we want. Personally, our family is waiting on news to see if my husband has cancer. A big chunk of skin was cut out from his back last week and was sent out for analysis. And if the answer comes back that more testing needs to be done, are we still going to be steadfast? Unmovable in the belief that God is not lost or confused as to where we are? Going through trials in life can keep us humble in realizing that we don’t have control over many things. We cannot by sheer will make everything ‘go right’ in life. But faith knows that even when our ‘situation’ changes, God’s doesn’t.

Because God does give victory, our labor of trust, obedience, sacrifice, and faith are not in vain. Whether or not we see the victory here or in Heaven, God is faithful to His word. He doesn’t work by our calendar, clock, or time-line. His promises were from the beginning until always. Extending beyond life on this earth. His name “Emmanuel” means in itself, “God with us”.  No matter what we’re going on in our lives, He isn’t the light at the end of the tunnel; He’s the Light that gets us through it.

 

 

 

 

 

Out of the Wells

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“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD
JE-HO-VAH is my strength and my song: he also is become my salvation. Therefore, with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. Sing unto the LORD; for he hath done excellent things; this is known in all the earth.” Isaiah 12: 2,3, & 5.

God is our salvation, shelter, strength, and source of supply. How often do I try to do things in my own strength? How often do I run out of joy? How often am I empty of song? When the answer is ,”Usually”, I’m not doing myself any favors. My husband recently commented that I go into things headlong and with full force. He was concerned that I may have too many ‘irons in the fire’ and was gently advising me to SLOW DOWN…or at least limit how much I’m doing at one time. He is all too aware of how tired I can become when I don’t have a good balance.

A phrase in Isaiah 12:3 jumped out at me one day during my Bible reading; “with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.” Wells of salvation. Now I know there is a historical context here, but sometimes something strikes you differently with a new meaning. One meaning of the word well in noun form is, “a plentiful source or supply”. Supply of what? In Philippians 4: 13, it is written, “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Many times, though, I feel that God isn’t meeting my need and that maybe He’s not supplying wells of deliverance fast enough. “What’s the hold up?”, I sometimes want to ask.

I was looking on the Internet for a basic explanation and possible historical context of the phrase, ‘wells of salvation’ and found some things that will hinder us from ‘drawing from the wells with joy’. God is the supplier of life-giving water. In fact, there are references to Christ being and giving living water and has said, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.” John 7:37b.

Anyone who knows anything about wells, knows there is a bucket at the bottom that is attached to a rope. When you need water, all you need to do is pull up on the rope and draw water from the well. When we feel limited in joy, when we feel that maybe God has quit providing, we may need to do some evaluation and figure out what’s holding up the supply. Here are some things to consider:

1) Fear and Worry → It’s as putting a ‘lid on the bucket’ indicating that our fear is bigger than our faith.

2) Burdens → Burdens are heavy as rocks, aren’t they? They are difficult and we tell God that it’s too hard to draw from His well of redemption and rest. In Matthew 11:30, Jesus says, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Rest unto your souls…refreshment from the Life-Giver.

3) Bitterness → When you fill your life with bitterness, it just makes everything taste like vinegar. And God’s blessings can even taste sour.

4) Doubt → It keeps us from drawing from His supply in the first place.

5) Impatience → We don’t allow God time to work and in doing so, we never feel ‘filled’. We don’t feel as if God is listening or that He cares.

6) Hate → Hate is like tar; it doesn’t take much to spoil the water and it sticks to everyone who touches it.

7) Ignorance → When we trust in ourselves to make it through, when we don’t look in His word for answers, we don’t know the blessings that are available and we miss out.

8) Lust and Greed → Both are as messy as mud and certainly the weight of it all will not cause us to draw life-giving water from the Source.

9) Hurt and Unforgiveness → They keep us tied up in knots and keep the rope/ lifeline/prayerline to Christ tied up as well.

10) Jealousy and Anger → They make us want to strike out and keep others from drawing from His supply..and in doing so, we hurt not only them, but also ourselves.

11) Pride → Pride says, “I don’t need any help”. And will leave you dry and alone.

12) Business → When we become too busy for God, too busy to draw daily out of His Word, we become too tired to draw from His supply of strength.

So how do we ‘draw water’ out of the wells of salvation that God freely gives?
• We need to thirst after the living water and realize that only He can supply all our need.
• It takes faith to believe that He will do for us what is best. And that what He gives us is what we need for this moment, for this day.
• Sometimes, letting our guard down, letting go of control, letting the ‘bucket’ go all the way down in the well means hardship. That’s where the water is deep and is at it’s most refreshing.

When I feel I’m having ‘trust issues’ with God, when I become afraid, when I have lost my strength, when I have no song and no joy, I can go through the “12 Step Program” above and do some self examination to figure out what’s holding up the ‘bucket of blessings’.

Because God is my Salvation, my Confidant, my Comforter, my Strength, my Song…with joy in Who He is, I will draw life giving blessing. Wells of salvation…God never runs out, He has more than enough for all who call
on Him.

Out of the wells of salvation:
→ I have the Savior.
→ I have a Confidant who can be trusted.
→ I have the Deliverer of fear and the Provider of comfort.
→ I have His perfect strength when my strength is gone.
→ I have a song to sing and a story to tell. His story of “the excellent things that is known in all the earth.” (Isaiah 12:5) I want to be a part of the ‘excellent things’ which can only be found out of the wells of His salvation.

The Habit That I Wear

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“A nail is driven out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit”. -Erasmus

Habit: Synonyms: addiction, custom, groove, manner, mode, nature, pattern, set, style Definitions: an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary; customary practice or use; a dominant or regular disposition or tendency; prevailing character or quality

When I was growing up, my parents worked to instill in the 3 of us kids good habits. We made our bed every day (yes, even on Saturdays). Every day, we were to shower, comb our hair, and get dressed. Every day, we each had chores that needed to be completed by the end of the day. It was to teach us discipline and responsibility and they are habits I instilled in raising and training my son Jonathan. This post isn’t about these types of habits, however, but of spiritual ones.  One of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp, mentions habits in one of her journal entries.

“A habit is what we wear. A habit is the way we wear our days.”

In light of ‘spiritual habits’, which ones should I ‘wear’?  I looked up the definitions for the word ‘wear’. Here are a few; to carry or to have on the body or about the person as a covering, equipment, ornament, or the like ; to bear or have in one’s aspect or appearance.

What am I carrying lately? What is ‘covering’ me? What is my equipment?? Stress, worry, doubts, perfectionism? Usually, yes. King Solomon in Proverbs 1:9 wrote about instruction and wisdom that they “shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.” Stress, worry, doubts, perfectionism are not wise habits to wear, especially if I believe that God is faithful to carry me through any situation.

Over the last year, I have been on a ‘minimalist’ kick. I haven’t nearly arrived at sorting through everything, but I did start with my closet. I donated bags of clothes that just didn’t suit me anymore. I stick to basic color schemes now that I know I feel comfortable in and that most everything matches most everything. I have a difficult time making (and sticking to!) decisions and having my closet cleaned out and simplified makes getting dressed much easier. Now that I have the basics I’m happy with, I rarely say, “I have nothing to wear”. I know what I like, I know what is comfortable, and I know everything ‘goes’ together.

I can compare that to a ‘spiritual’ closet and I know which thoughts are not comfortable..stress, worry, obsession over things I cannot change. I can choose to clean those out in favor of what is good. Stress, worry, doubt is really not supposed ‘to go together’ in the Christian outfit, anyway.

‘Put on’ bowels (depths) of mercies, kindness, humbleness, meekness, longsuffering.’ Colossians 3:12

In Ephesians chapter six, Paul writes about taking the whole armour of God; truth, righteousness, gospel of peace, faith, salvation, word of God… No stress, worry, or doubt mentioned here.

I can choose to decide that I don’t want to wear discontentment and doubt.  “Strength and honour are her clothing;”-Proverbs 31:25. I find that if I ‘take’ (mentally) the habits of stress, worry, doubts, obsessiveness over things I can’t control and put them away (far, far away), I find things I haven’t worn in awhile; mercy, kindness, longsuffering, faith, trust, the word of God. And if all that seems overwhelming, I can ‘try on’ one or two of them. I can work on kindness today instead of impatience. I can show mercy instead of an unforgiving spirit. I can let go of perfectionism in favor of a happier home.

‘Putting on’ habits is a choice. Driving out bad habits can be done by driving in a good one in its place. Difficult at times, sure. Painful, even. The natural tendency is to grip tightly to control, to discontent, and the right to feel this way. Which habits do I need to retire and which ones do I need to take on in order to be a better Christian, wife, and mom?  How do I wear my days? If I’m ever in doubt and am not quite sure how to drive out the bad habit rearing it’s ugly head, I can put on the one good one that never fails- charity/love.

“And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.” Colossians 3:14,15

Above mercy, kindness, humbleness, meekness, longsuffering. Above forbearing and forgiving, charity is the way to wear my days because if I don’t have charity, I am nothing and there is no profit to any other good deed I could do (I Corinthians 13:2,3). Is my covering, equipment, or ornament charity these days? Something to think about each morning as I decide what I want to wear and how I want to wear the day.

 

 

Enabling Grace

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When God has a plan, He has already made provisions for the outcome, and has given me the power to overcome any obstacles that come my way.

When Caleb, Joshua, and ten other spies were sent out to observe the land the Israelites were to overtake, the men did not all agree that God would do what He said would do and just give it to them. All twelve men saw the grapes big enough to feed giants. All twelve men saw the pomegranates and the figs of the land. They all saw that the land was overflowing with cows, and goats, and bees. The land was fertile and all that occupied it. And of course, they all saw that the people in Canaan were strong, and that there were giants, and that the cities were walled. Caleb said, “We can take ’em”…in a manner of speaking. “Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it” -Numbers 13:30. (At once!, he raved.) He was excited and ready to go. This was what they had been hoping for. A promise that was @ six hundred years in the making.

The phrase struck me while this message was being preached by my dad: “We are well able”, Caleb reported…And after declaring Canaan to be conquerable, there were others who grew weak kneed and intimidated.

•They saw the people there were strong.

•They saw the cities were walled and were very great.

•And they saw the sons of Anak, ‘which come of the giants’ (Numbers 13:33

What the 10 spies (doubters) did not see that Caleb and Joshua did,
was the almighty hand of God.

When the two “good spies” said, “We spy.. GREATNESS!”, the other ten said, “We spy.. TROUBLE!” – and a riot ensued. They protested, so much so that the children of Israel ‘got on the bandwagon’ and said it would have been better if they had died back in Egypt or in the wilderness. “They lifted up their voice, and cried; and the people wept that night”- Numbers 14:1. Good grief. Get a hold of yourself! Such drama. And what of the great Exodus? And the parting of the Red Sea? And the cloud by day and fire by night? And the manna? And and and…..on and on God was showing them that He would provide, yet they forgot. Or were just plain ungrateful. We can see just around the corner because it’s recorded how it all works out that they were —just within reach— of gaining the promised land. So close in proximity, yet so far apart from God’s mindset. They despised the promise. Maybe it seemed too hard. Maybe they didn’t want to have to ‘work for it’ when in reality, God was going to do the work and all were to receive the promise. They knew what work was. They had been slaves, after all, before God delivered them from Egypt and her taskmasters. Yet, because of their rebellion and fight against God’s will, they missed out on entering the most incredible sights they ever would know. Joshua and Caleb are hailed as heroes for their trust in God’s way. And the ten trouble making spies? They are named as well (Numbers 13) and are forever etched in Scripture for all to see their lack of judgment. In Numbers 13:3, it even says that their little ones would know the land that their elders despised.

Not much has changed since then. God still has a plan and it’s to live by faith, to trust Him in any given situation. And there will always be those who say it’s impossible to live by faith and not by sight– ‘God simply can’t have something bigger out there’. Like Caleb and Joshua, I need to stand firm that blessings will come when I simply trust that God’s way is better. Big faith = big blessings. What God says about Caleb is incredible in Number 14: 24 -“But my servant, Caleb, because he had another spirit in him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land…” Another spirit…not a spirit of scorn like the whole murmuring lot, but one of humility and obedience. And Caleb followed God fully. Fully! Not half-way, not half-hearted, but he was “all in” for the long haul. No tears. No weeping and gnashing of teeth. No drama. In vs 38, it is said of Joshua and Caleb that they “LIVED STILL” when the unbelieving and unrepentant breached God’s promise and slandered the land (vs 34 & 36). The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for forty years and died ‘by the plague before the LORD’ (vs 37). The doubters got what they wished for…to die in the wilderness (those twenty years old and up). Such profound sadness. It didn’t have to be that way.

To live STILL – when fear wants to take over. To live STILL – when I’m tempted to doubt that God will take care of me. To live STILL – when those around me are far apart from God’s mindset… Faith brings life and I am ‘well able’ to overcome anything that will test my faith in His plan…giants larger than life, walls higher than high, mean people, whatever -because He is the Enabler.

God doesn’t give me life and a plan to serve Him without making provisions. He always extends the necessary power and grace to overcome obstacles and to exceed expectations.

May I have the confidence and faith to say, “I am well able to overcome….”

Making Mention of You Always

Published on by Rebecca Gilbreath2 Comments

Sometimes…I just don’t know how to pray. Illness, loss, divorce, conflicts, hardships…My heart is heavy for so many people and at times, I just don’t have the words.  What do I ask for? How do I pray? How do I form the words when the heart hurts, and the soul aches, and the mind is numb? The prayer that never fails; “Thy will be done”..but even if it hurts? Even if it means I don’t get my way? Even if someone still suffers, dies, walks away, gives up, or takes years to come back to God? My thoughts are not His thoughts. His timing is not mine. I’ve found some direction when I get to feeling numb with no words and no idea what to ask for.

“Grace to you, and peace, from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God, making mention of thee always in my prayers.”
Philemon 1: 3, 4

GRACE to you (dignity, balance, thanksgiving)–for every mile, for every trial. New grace to face a new day even when there are no answers. Dignity to accept mistakes and to receive forgiveness. Balance through a diagnosis that will change a life forever. Thanksgiving that God’s hand can still keep, protect, and guide.

and PEACE (one accord with God, tranquility, quietness of spirit)— to be still and know that He is God. Period. And He alone can fix, bend, or mend people and problems. Not I.

“Prayer does not fit us for the greater work; prayer is the greater work.”  Oswald Chambers

For those on your prayer list– for the faces you will see in your family, church, neighborhood, and even on Facebook who are smiling yet covering tears unshed–for all those on your heart and in your mind, when you find yourself making mention of someone always in your prayers…urge for GRACE, seek for PEACE. And give thanks for these gifts that He alone can wholly provide.

When the soul seeks for a voice, sometimes the only words you need to cover it all from the One Who covers all, are Grace and Peace.

The Fragments That Remain

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I’m working to set up this new blog site (based on an older one) and I am reworking some of my older posts that have meant a lot to me. I may be posting a lot in a day until I’m caught up with posts I wanted to move over and as I figure out a new format in WordPress.  We were in the latter part of John 6 on a Sunday last October when my eyes had glanced over to an underlined verse on the other page;

“When they were filled, he said unto his disciples, Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost.” John 6:12

 

Fragment: 1) A part broken off or detached 2) an isolated, unfinished, incomplete part 3) an odd piece, bit or scrap

Gather: 1) to pick up 2) to bring together 3) to collect

Remain: to linger

Lost: cast away

 

The context here is the account of the feeding of the 5,000. A crowd had followed Jesus and the disciples soon after Jesus had healed a man on the Sabbath and was persecuted for it. Because of the wide spread news of Christ’s miracles, a lot of people followed him over the sea of Galilee after the healing. When Jesus saw the crowd, he asked Philip where they were going to buy bread to feed all the people. The disciples didn’t have the power to make food appear out of nowhere, nor did they have sufficient funds to purchase any. Christ knew the answer already and was going to prove His power to not only heal, but to provide. Andrew noticed a boy there who had 5 barley loaves and 2 fishes, but what were they among so many? (vs 9) Jesus instructed the disciples to have the 5,000 men (besides the women and children) sit down. He took the 2 loaves, gave thanks for and blessed the offering, and distributed the food. I had written in my Bible, “Faith comes before the miracle”. Before the actual feeding of the crowd, Christ needed to be trusted to provide. Before anyone knew exactly how this was going to supply the need, there was a moment of thanksgiving for what was about to be done. And there was enough and more.

And just a thought here about the underlined vs 12, Jesus said, “Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost.” John was the only one who remembered and recorded it this way. Matthew, Mark, and Luke all wrote about picking up the leftovers or fragments. There were 12 baskets full after the meal, but only John wrote that the fragments were picked up so that ‘nothing be lost’. John was a sensitive one– always close by Christ’s side. John must have had some insight and knowing Christ like he did, he might have figured out that something was going to be done with all that was not wanted. I doubt there was a “No Littering” sign on the lawn that caused them to pick up what was left. Were the leftovers passed around among the people? Did the disciples take them when they entered the ship to go toward Capernaum? Was it given back to the boy as a reward for his humble offering? As far as I could tell, we weren’t given that answer. But no matter what happened to the 12 full baskets of ‘fragments’, we are assured that nothing was lost. I wonder if John thought about the implications of how he recorded this miracle. I wonder if he remembered that in each of the disciples, Jesus had gathered up the fragmented pieces of their lives and did something amazing with them. “Heartaches, broken pieces, ruined lives are why He died on Calvary. Your touch was what I longed for. You have given life to me”, goes an old song.

In Christ, nothing is lost.

In Christ, nothing is lost. He works in me and through me; the good, the bad, the ugly. Fragments—broken off pieces of dreams unfulfilled, feelings of incompleteness, odd pieces of life that don’t seem to make sense or ‘fit’ in the big picture. HE can bring them all together– the hurts that remain– so that nothing is cast away. So that ‘all things work together for good to them who love God’, Romans 8:28. Faith comes before the miracle. If I have put my trust in Him for my salvation, why would I not have faith that He can take my life and use it? Can I give thanks that He has the power to multiply what is given to me, even if I become broken for His glory?

What seemed like an insignificant lad, made history. What seemed like an insufficient lunch, made a lesson in trust not only for the crowd, but for all who witnessed it and who read this account of the miracle. What we see as insignificant and insufficient is more than enough for God to do something pretty amazing. Nothing is cast away. Christ knew where the fragments went and I can be assured that every last lingering bit was not lost or wasted.

Free From Envy

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I’m working to get the new blog up and running, so I’m going through older posts from my former blog and ‘revamping’ them a bit. The last post, The Big Happiness, was originally written in January as I was working through verses on contentment. The verses had been straight to the heart. “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

To apply: to make use of as relevant, suitable, or pertinent; to put to use, especially for a particular purpose; to devote or employ diligently or with close attention.

Lord, teach me to devote my heart unto wisdom, {understanding, too} –with close attention.

Here are my study notes from “Free from Envy”:

The focus in this study was about communication with others and in keeping the envy away from my relationship with them. When God has given me His spirit and instructs me to be content with what I have, He wants me to pay close attention, because through everything, He will never leave me nor forsake me. Not only that, He is my helper. So no matter what others have, I can be glad for them because when there is a need, God will provide, and it will be right and good and enough. No need for envy or wanting what others possess because I can choose to want the *enough* that I am Divinely given.

To be faithful in the little (Luke 16:10) is a good place to start if comparing my life to someone else’s. Am I true to God in being thankful for what I already have? Am I honorable in taking care of what I’ve been given?

And what is it that I admire in another person, anyway? Their stuff? Do I appreciate their success more than the value of their character? Some good envy evaluation questions right there.

How to be free from envy in relationships with others?

Be faithful in the little, be thankful for much, appreciate character more than success.

“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” Hebrews 13:5, 6

The Big Happiness

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The struggle with being content is life-long, it seems. Why do others always seem to be successful when we struggle to just break even every month? I tend to look at what others are doing and what they have, but really, I don’t know their whole story. Maybe they are losing the small joys in pursuit of the ‘big happiness’. My ‘little’ that God has given me may be really all I can handle and is quite possibly just right for my life.

At the time I originally wrote this post on my former blog,  I was working through a Scripture Writing Plan. I liked this way of studying and would like to get back into it, I just haven’t yet. It gave me time to think about a concept and apply as I was writing out each passage of Scripture I was studying. The study theme at the time had been about contentment and what is actually ‘enough’ for me. And I’m not talking about basic needs but more about wants that I really don’t need. What is my motivation? To keep up with friends and family? To make it seem that I am super successful? What defines success anyway? Here are my study notes from “The Big Happiness” I wrote originally in January.

Content → (n) power of containing, holding capacity; (adj) satisfied with what one has or is; agreeing, consenting [Synonyms: comfortable, gratified, at ease]

“Holding capacity” caught my attention as did the word, “agreeing”. I’m connecting the dots here that I’m needing to agree with God that I am at my holding capacity ..at least for this moment, this day–which brings to mind the verse in Matthew 6:11, “Give us this day our daily bread”. Give me Lord, what is best and what only You know I can manage or contain. And my ‘holding capacity’ may change in the future..but that’s in the future. “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” Matthew 6:34. So if the evil in this world is enough for one day, so are the blessings, I would think.

“A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked”, Psalm 37:16. Not all wicked are rich and not all rich are wicked, I know. But when my heart is right, no matter what my possessions are, I am able to see that they are still better than anyone else’s because they are divinely given by God who knows me, loves me, and wants what’s best for me. To not take for granted the small joys in every day and in what God has given me, is the start of living life contented. To be assured that God, indeed, is in control, He knows my ‘power of containing’ for some things and lack of for others. God made us each unique in our talents, appearances, spiritual gifts, so why wouldn’t He tailor His blessings to each individual? What works for someone else, may be entirely wrong for me and vice versa. Sure, it’s good to have goals and dreams, but I need to evaluate and be willing to be ‘at ease’ in how God made me and in His provisions. To be at ease→ that’s what just about everyone wants anyway, yet it’s our level of appeasement that makes or breaks us when it comes to contentment.

At ease→ (n) tranquil rest; freedom from concern, anxiety, solicitude; freedom from constraint

To ease→ (v) to free from anxiety or care; to lighten or lessen; to move or shift with great care

And in my evaluation of what is enough for this moment, it’s quite possible the small joys in every day are the big happiness after all. To agree with God that where He has me today is where I need to be whether it be my location, my possessions, my ‘status’ in life, and that my ‘holding capacity’ for all that, is sufficient for today. God wishes to ease with great care so that I may be at ease with Him and His plan for my life – blessings and trials alike. The ‘big happiness’? Well, maybe I need to change my definition of what that means. The ‘small joys’ of being free from concern and anxiety because I’m trusting in the One who is the Great Reliever is really one big happiness.

Grace Comes Along

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Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live. The law tells me how crooked I am. Grace comes along and straightens me out.

-D.L. Moody

Why the name, “A Record of Graces”? Well, for one, that’s been my life, although I haven’t always known it. I have been going through a journey of sorts and it just seemed fitting to name the blog I started in 2012, A Record of Graces. I began to write about my journey to trust God’s heart when I couldn’t see His hand for two very life-changing moments. The first life-changing moment was when I lost my mother and sister when I was 3 years old and forever lost a part of me. My mother died of hepatitis soon after she delivered my sister, who didn’t live very long. We were missionaries in Lima, Peru at the time. My identity for as long as I can remember was tied to being the little girl of that missionary who lost his wife and baby daughter. It was part of my dad’s testimony in every church he preached in. I was “Jean’s daughter” to all who knew, loved and remembered her. As a teenager when we would be on furlough visiting supporting churches, I would hear all the time, “I know exactly who you are! You look just like your mother!”. It wasn’t until I was much older that I began to know more about her. My dad never really wanted to talk about her for he’s never one to dwell on things very long. He remarried soon after my mother’s death, and we went back to Peru to continue with the ministry. In 2001, I attended my grandmother’s funeral where there were a host of relatives. I walked into the funeral home and was immediately surrounded by family (especially my mother’s cousins) who knew who I was instantly. It felt like a homecoming. It was so surreal how much I felt a part of them without having grown up nearby. I still keep in touch with a few of my cousins to this day. I was somewhat close to my aunt (my mother’s older sister), but that’s about it. Knowing my mother through photos and memories of the ones who loved her helped mend a few heart-wounds. A balm to my soul, truly. But the shadow of being Jean’s daughter haunted my stepmother and me from the beginning. I believe she tried to fill the gap, but it was difficult to feel like one family. I honestly do not believe people commented with harsh intentions on our past, but the words left a mark, nonetheless. Through time and grace, I have compassion for her whereas, in my younger years, I was resentful, not understanding her side of the story. It wasn’t until after my son Jonathan was born that we found some common ground. No matter the difficult years, she was a wonderful grandmother to Jonathan and I believe if she were alive today, she and my son would be the best of friends.

The second life-changing moment was when we buried our stillborn youngest son in 2003.

Of course, I’ve asked God why He allowed these things to happen. But then I have to ask why I should be exempt from heartache when I was never promised a perfect life. No one is. I was promised, however, a Comforter, an ever-present help in times of trouble. I am coming to a place where I realize that by grace and through faith, I will be ok.  Whether I am to know His mind or not, God has His reasons. I have wished many times to be able to rewrite my story. Yet, there’s a reason why God wrote my story and I didn’t. It is easy to get distracted and to look away from what He has promised. He always gives me new grace for each new day for anything and everything I face. So I write about how grace comes along every day. I write about things that will bring me to notice Him and how I am to respond. I will close with these verses which sum up the reason I record the graces.

Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah. And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.

Psalm 77:8-12